Comments on Deus Ex Malcontent: The Terror Alert Level has Been Raised to Peppermi...

Read Chuck Palaniuk's (sp.) book "Lullaby". A sid...

2008-05-10T05:11:00.000-04:00

Read Chuck Palaniuk's (sp.) book "Lullaby". A side plot involves a character named "Oyster" and wacky lawsuits.

So...does this I'm vindicated in yelling at the te...

2008-05-08T17:34:00.000-04:00

So...does this I'm vindicated in yelling at the television, "YOU'RE NOT NEWS, YOU'RE INFOTAINMENT!" when Good Morning America comes on?

Last time I looked, coffee and tea labels don't di...

2008-05-08T16:56:00.000-04:00

Last time I looked, coffee and tea labels don't display warnings about heavy usage staining teeth.

Oh crikey....I just gave the Today Show their next story idea...

Does anybody else see the pattern here?? 20 decad...

2008-05-08T07:57:00.001-04:00

Does anybody else see the pattern here?? 20 decades? 10 Score? r->p = Scope?! This whole story is obviously just part of a big intricate Microsoft-style conspiracy by another major mouthwash manufacturer to squeeze their competition out of the market and achieve global mouthwash dominance! =-O

I used crest twice and figured out it was the reas...

2008-05-08T07:57:00.000-04:00

I used crest twice and figured out it was the reason everything tasted like orange juice and toothpaste. But, being a rational human, I ate the cost as a byproduct of trying new things. I'm guessing more than just the billionth of a percent of users had a problem -- but the billionth of a percent are the dumbass ones.

So 20 decades is like 10 Score, right? 8 Score?

2008-05-08T04:07:00.000-04:00

So 20 decades is like 10 Score, right? 8 Score?

For the record, Lubbock, Texas is on the plains, n...

2008-05-08T01:32:00.000-04:00

For the record, Lubbock, Texas is on the plains, not in the Hill Country (you're thinking Austin). I oughta know; I've lived here for 27 years. And we are known for some stupid shit, that's for sure.

Omg. I used to totally dig the Today Show when I w...

2008-05-08T01:04:00.000-04:00

Omg. I used to totally dig the Today Show when I was like 22, and before that it was CBS whatever-their-morning-show-is-called.

Since I've had kids, however, I haven't watched any of them, preferring either HNN or Jump Start on VH1 instead.

Matt Lauer just grosses me out with the burr/balding head thing. I mean, just go bald naturally. Don't add stubble, dude. Uck.

I didn't realize there was a difference between th...

2008-05-07T21:39:00.000-04:00

I didn't realize there was a difference between the Today Show and K-SHIT in Lubbock, Texas.

"Of course, going by your "thought process" said i...

2008-05-07T20:11:00.000-04:00

"Of course, going by your "thought process" said idiots should have had some sort of x-ray vision to enable them to discern which bottles were and weren't laced with cyanide."

My best guess is that you are one of the people joining the class action lawsuit, you are trying to argue that your mouthwash was contaminated by P&G during manufacturing, and you have convinced yourself of your own righteousness by associating yourself with people who were poisoned. Am I right?

"So the families of those people killed in the inf...

2008-05-07T19:27:00.000-04:00

"So the families of those people killed in the infamous Tylenol/cyanide case over 20 decades ago had no right to sue because their dead relatives were to use your words "unfortunate idiots" who randomly picked up a bottle of Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide."

Oh the stupid...it hurts! First off, not to pile on but 200 years ago? Really? Secondly, it wasn't the fault of the manufacturers, so no they had no case. A woman, in an attempt to kill her husband, laced several bottle of Tylenol with cyanide and replaced them on the shelf. Her plan was to divert suspicion by being a victim. She was caught. Because of the main stream media's premature reaction to the scare thousands of dollars of tylenol were destroyed, everything in the world became harder to open and several important news stories were ignored (at that point the AIDs epidemic was in full swing, having killed 13,000 people mostly gay. The federal government spent tens of millions of dollars to insure the safety of packaging and not one cent on AIDS research. I believe the total death toll from the Tylenol plot was TWO).

Conceivably, once they are told the mouthwash causes a reaction many people will look for imperfections and find them, blaming the mouthwash in a media driven hysteria (see my list above for other examples). How do you even prove it was the mouthwash and not something else? It doesn't take a leap of logic to say these people put many things in their mouths.

Was Tylenol even around 20 decades ago?

2008-05-07T19:05:00.000-04:00

Was Tylenol even around 20 decades ago?

Who is this Chez Pazienza and why is he so awesome...

2008-05-07T18:26:00.000-04:00

Who is this Chez Pazienza and why is he so awesome!?

Hilarious post. =)

Anonymous --20 decades ago? Damn you've got a good...

2008-05-07T17:45:00.000-04:00

Anonymous --

20 decades ago? Damn you've got a good memory.

And the fact that you actually equate dying with having your teeth turn brown for a few days says all I need to know about you.

Have a good one, and thanks for reading. : )

This Crest BS is really old news how are they JUST...

2008-05-07T17:04:00.000-04:00

This Crest BS is really old news how are they JUST getting to it. I poured my free bottle of the blue shit down the sink and recommended others to do so as well. Besides the fact that we all consume other things that tint our teeth brown including but not limited to soda, coffee, and cigarettes. A little gargle anyone?

So the families of those people killed in the infa...

2008-05-07T16:39:00.000-04:00

So the families of those people killed in the infamous Tylenol/cyanide case over 20 decades ago had no right to sue because their dead relatives were to use your words "unfortunate idiots" who randomly picked up a bottle of Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. Of course, going by your "thought process" said idiots should have had some sort of x-ray vision to enable them to discern which bottles were and weren't laced with cyanide.

And you continue to bleat and shriek about how "unfair and unjustified your firing by CNN was."

Right.

Drinking too much water will probably stain your t...

2008-05-07T16:29:00.000-04:00

Drinking too much water will probably stain your teeth brown...Hell, living will probably stain your teeth brown. The crack the plaintiffs are smoking will definitely stain your teeth brown!

Threat Level Peppermint...damn, I should have adde...

2008-05-07T16:15:00.000-04:00

Threat Level Peppermint...damn, I should have added that as one of the threat levels in my Porn-Again Threat Assessment post last month.

I'm not sure whether your post is funny or depressing (maybe both), Chez, but thanks either way for the insight. I don't watch Today much these days. I guess I should be thankful.

As always, Chez, big thanks for the lunch time lau...

2008-05-07T15:24:00.000-04:00

As always, Chez, big thanks for the lunch time laugh. The Jar Jar Binks reference is priceless!

This is a very common and serious problem that inc...

2008-05-07T14:28:00.000-04:00

This is a very common and serious problem that includes more than mouth wash products and I am, for one, a little disappointed in you all. This same type of product incompatibility with many human orifices can explain away not only why your teeth will turn brown but also why a quarter-pounder turns your stool green; God knows that shit ain't normal.

I'd like to comment as both a prohealth user and a...

2008-05-07T13:51:00.001-04:00

I'd like to comment as both a prohealth user and an alumnus of KSHIT in San Antonio. On the latter point, I was actually suspended a day without pay for getting locked out of an office one night and not being able to forward the phone calls during the "dial for dollars" promotion during sweeps.....seriously.
On the former, if it's just a few dozen, can I get in on that class action suit? I love the product, but with that few plaintiffs that's like $50 MILLION per person, no?
I'll paint my teeth brown for that.

Hoda's the glue of those last 6 hours of Today.

brilliant. can we get a "digg it?"

2008-05-07T13:25:00.000-04:00

brilliant. can we get a "digg it?"

"K-SHIT in Lubbock, Texas", huh? Let's look at mai...

2008-05-07T13:15:00.000-04:00

"K-SHIT in Lubbock, Texas", huh? Let's look at main stream media's records:

Alar
Repressed memory
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Silicone Breast Implants
Satanic Ritual Abuse
and their sister, Child Care Abuse Epidemics
Assisted Communication
Immunization link to Autism via mercury preservatives

All of these stories were, at one time or another, championed by main stream media news and had no basis in reality. It doesn't take a podunk television in the hill country of Texas to be as bad as "The Today Show". It just takes a desire for ratings, credulity and or no sense of public responsibility.

Oh, I should add that all these "stories" resulted in law suits and/or people being tried and jailed.

What the hell do you expect? This is nothing new. ...

2008-05-07T13:06:00.000-04:00

What the hell do you expect? This is nothing new. Do you watch every show all the way through? Because if you don't I swear you'll find a similarly bullshit 4 minutes every day.

And here's the best part: this will most likely increase sales of Crest Pro Health Care. Most of the dumb women watching this shitty show don't actually sit glued to the screen for 4 hours. Most come and go or pay light attention. So all those women just saw lots of product shots and probably got very little of the scary shit.

Way back in 1984, NBC/ABC/CBS did a story about Reagan and his proposal to slash funding for elderly care. Lots of shots or Reagan with old folks at old folks homes etc. Reagan's media people loved it. They got tons of calls from people saying they loved how much Reagan cared for old people.

Again, all the viewers got from the new story was the images of Reagan and the old folks.

0.00000026373% had a problem with the mouthwash. ...

2008-05-07T12:27:00.000-04:00

0.00000026373% had a problem with the mouthwash. Not even half of...ah you get the point.

Straight from the pages of your pals book.