Comments on Deus Ex Malcontent: They're Just Not That Into You

Okay, so what is so obviously troublesome to women...

2008-06-01T06:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, so what is so obviously troublesome to women is that, after all the perceived advancements they've made, a men's magazine still thinks it's good for a laugh to point out that a certain role model for women is genuinely unappealing to the great majority of men.

However, that men have not changed tactics much over the years shouldn't be such a surprise, especially to such a seasoned professional on the ways of men as such as Mrs. Parker or Mrs. Bradshaw. Maxim is a lowest common denominator magazine that is, I would imagine, bought by men who are afraid to bring magazines with actual pornography (and often better writing (i.e. Playboy and Hustler)) into their homes. Its comments on Mrs. Parker are akin to a collective instinctive growl coming from the baser part of men. I get the "unsexiest" title hurts, especially when your freaking show has "Sex" in the title, but she's much to alienate herself from the average male.

Julia Roberts was a similar phenomenon and, to some degree, still is a woman whom other women believe is much more appealing to men than she is in actuality. Even in her hottest commodity period circa Pretty Woman, Roberts never struck such a sour note with men as Parker does now.

However, Julia Roberts never became a brand. She kept being an actor and got better and better at her craft. She was plastered across women’s magazines with the same vigor as supermodels for some time, but that's pretty much where it ended. Perhaps the media synergy juggernaut just wasn't the same a decade or so ago, but I'd like to chalk some of it up to character, self-respect, and/or intelligence on Roberts’ part.

While Maxim is not quite the unsexiest magazine (high-resolution clothed women who have had every flaw, pore, and nipple removed by computer is a poor substitute for eroticism and I just don’t care for it, but some apparently do) there’s a definite “takes-one-to-know-one” aspect going on. Much like it should be difficult to argue the merits of Maxim to a woman with basic reasoning skills, smarter men won't care when you tell us that Parker used to be poor (should I take pity on the used-to-be-blind as well?), has affordable products (thanks for shopping!), etc. and nothing will sway us because, especially as of late, she has done nothing to endear herself to us. Instead, her Maxim-opposite brand based on herself, Bradshaw, sex, clothing, and cosmetics just makes men like me want to either puke or cover every orifice that might catch a whiff of what the Parker is cooking. Men shouldn’t feel badly for treating her and her products any differently than women treat the similar crap we consume. What’s vainglorious for the goose is unsexy to the gander.
-embryotron

I Want It That Way is, in fact, a perfect pop song...

2008-04-02T08:37:00.000-04:00

I Want It That Way is, in fact, a perfect pop song.

This coming from an unrepentant Ramones fan.

Ans Sarah Jessica Parker is, in fact, the unsexiest woman on the face of the earth.

When did women become the new black/hispanic/minor...

2008-03-26T18:02:00.000-04:00

When did women become the new black/hispanic/minority du jour? Seriously, it's like if you mock one woman - you mock all women. And then the defensiveness sinks in. If women really want equality, here's the deal - you have to suck it up. Admit that some women are ugly, that just because you plop one out doesn't make you a mother, and that a rich white woman in America has absolutely nothing in common with a poor woman from a third-world country. Stop the whole "want to be her/want to fuck her/want to kill her" psychosis that women seem to develop with other women, and move on. Hate the individual, not the gender, dig?

I think when they called her 'horse faced' in Ed W...

2008-03-25T18:00:00.000-04:00

I think when they called her 'horse faced' in Ed Wood, they weren't too far from the mark. I wonder if that diss was in the script before SJP signed on for the film or if it was custom tailored.

To me SJP just seems like our generation's Barbara Steisand. Besides the fact that it IMHO they bear far more than a passing resemblance, they're both self-styled female icons, who've been in the lime-light for far too long, and have an over inflated sense of self importance.

Hey Votar,You're pretty ugly too.

2008-03-25T11:35:00.000-04:00

Hey Votar,

You're pretty ugly too.

Gack ... SATC spent its entire run TRYING to convi...

2008-03-25T01:22:00.000-04:00

Gack ... SATC spent its entire run TRYING to convince us that NYC was filled with great looking, rich, talented guys who wanted nothing more than a veiny-handed skinny broad in a nurse's uniform and stilettos. And SJP as executive producer of the show rammed that "vision" down our throats to the bitter end. So for her now to be all offended and upset because Maxim is repudiating all that is pretty lame. SJP .... honey ... hitch up your big girl pants and get on with your life.

Ya'll are mean.

2008-03-24T21:59:00.000-04:00

Ya'll are mean.

P.H.M.D!

2008-03-24T21:42:00.000-04:00

P.H.M.D!

I'm printing up the t-shirts now, man...Deus Ex Ma...

2008-03-24T21:31:00.000-04:00

I'm printing up the t-shirts now, man...

Deus Ex Malcontent: Playgirl Hates My Dick

But... Sarah Jessica Parker is ugly.And although I...

2008-03-24T21:22:00.000-04:00

But... Sarah Jessica Parker is ugly.

And although I can't speak for Chez, I, for one, never get tired of Playgirl hating my dick.

No, Chez - you are the one who doesn't get it. Sa...

2008-03-24T20:36:00.000-04:00

No, Chez - you are the one who doesn't get it. Sarah Jessica Parker realizes that some people don't think she's attractive. From comments she's made throughout the years, I'm convinced that she doesn't believe her own hype. It is hurtful to any woman for someone to tell her to her face that she is ugly, let alone put it on the cover of a national magazine. Plus, since she's doing publicity for her new movie, every interviewer asks "What do you think about Maxim's article?".

How can I put this in terms you'll understand? OK - dick size. Imagine that men had to walk around with their dicks hanging out all the time, for everyone to see. People can see how big or small your dick is. You realize that your dick isn't the biggest one in the world, and it's kind of ugly with that bend to the left, but some people like it, including your wife, and that's good enough for you. Now imagine that Playgirl Magazine puts a picture of your dick on the cover with the title "The Dick that Women Least Want to Fuck!" They put pictures of your dick next to other, bigger, better dicks, and talk about how anyone would be insane to even think about liking your dick. Blogs and entertainment shows pick up the story, spreading it around the globe. Then you go on tour promoting a new book and every interview starts with "What do you think about Playgirl hating your dick?". Sure, for the first few interviews you laugh it off, saying "Who cares what they think?", but you know what? I think that somewhere around the 77th time someone asks you that question, you're going to be tired enough to tell them how you really feel.

That's what happened to Sarah. The first few times she was asked that question, she didn't say she was hurt by the comment. But by the time Grazia asked her, she was tired enough to tell them the truth - that it hurt her. Ninety-nine percent of the women on the planet would be hurt by that comment - whether or not it's true, whether or not you care about the opinion of the person who said it, whether or not you "believe your own hype". It just hurts.

(Sigh)Not much for paying close attention there I ...

2008-03-24T16:23:00.000-04:00

(Sigh)

Not much for paying close attention there I guess.

I so hope your baby isn't a girl.You so missed the...

2008-03-24T15:27:00.000-04:00

I so hope your baby isn't a girl.
You so missed the point (purposely?) of SJP's complaint.
Try explaining to your gorgeous 13 year old neice that just because she has black hair and deep green eyes and not blond hair and blue eyes like the 4 most popular girls in her class, she is still pretty. And you can see in those deep green eyes that your are not getting thru.
Beauty is individual, there is not a cookie cutter standard, whether Maxim thinks so or not.

this takes me back to tim burton's first scene in ...

2008-03-24T12:57:00.000-04:00

this takes me back to tim burton's first scene in his "ed wood" film where "Bunny" Brekenridge reads Victor Crowley's scathing review of the play... after which Sarah Jessica Parker's character asks, "Do I really have a face like a horse?"

yes.. yes you do...

tell me hollywood doesn't know too...

i think she just personifies hope to all those satc couch potatoes... if sjp can find her "mr big" so can i?

I agree. That's one ugly, ugly woman.

2008-03-24T12:39:00.000-04:00

I agree. That's one ugly, ugly woman.

I still don't see why I should care at all about a...

2008-03-23T16:35:00.000-04:00

I still don't see why I should care at all about anything relating to Sarah Jessica Parker.

Amy Winehouse poses for naked photos This is a sca...

2008-03-23T04:18:00.000-04:00

Amy Winehouse poses for naked photos

This is a scary prospect, Winehouse really seems to be working the Keith Richards heroin addict look these days. But I must say I would rather Fuck Amy Winehouse then Sarah Jessica Parker, not because Amy is all that much more attractive, no, but because Amy has some real talent, especially in comparison to Parker, and if you're going to be a star fucker, for God sakes don't be a pseudo-star fucker.

On a personal note, for some reason that I haven't quite figured out yet, the more screwed in the head a woman is the more attractive I tend to find her, an affliction I commonly refer to as the alpha-loser syndrome. Before Amy went to rehab, I was only mildly attracted to her, but now that I know she's fucked in the head, I find her utterly irresistible.

So I'll be there the next time Amy is released from the hospital, with a big bunch of roses and a couple of ounces of Afghani Black to get the party started all over again.

Well strictly thinking I think they had more of a ...

2008-03-22T21:25:00.000-04:00

Well strictly thinking I think they had more of a problem with the people watching the movie, but I could have been misunderstanding the whole thing all these years.

Yikes Nathan those guys must have really hated tha...

2008-03-22T19:54:00.000-04:00

Yikes Nathan those guys must have really hated that movie.

I realize you have to leave stuff out or you'd nev...

2008-03-22T19:13:00.000-04:00

I realize you have to leave stuff out or you'd never finish one of these posts, but I honestly thought the funniest thing about her reaction was her claim that she was less upset for herself than she was for the insult to her husband's taste in women.

And I loove Smoky and the Bandit 2. I owe it my life. When I was living in Israel, some friends and I decided we needed a break and some American Immersion...so we went to see SATB2 in Tel Aviv. We hated it so much we walked out about 1/2 way through the movie. A bomb went off in the theater about ten minutes after we left. Yup. Love that movie.

I really don't blame SJP at all for ranting via th...

2008-03-22T15:05:00.000-04:00

I really don't blame SJP at all for ranting via the press about Maxim's unfortunate title. There was another article in which she was cited that she actually doesn't consider herself sexy either, but the comment still stung, still hurt her feelings - and brought up every insecurity she's ever had about herself.

And who can't relate to that.

If she was really the "monster" you and the press claim she is due to her success, then how do you explain the following:

1. No matter where she is or what she's doing, if a fan comes up to her and asks for her picture or an autograph, she gives it. No ranting about her privacy or how intrusive someone's being - and you know why? Because as she said, "I don't have to earn my living doing manual labor or something I hate. I'm the luckiest girl in the world and I never forget that for a moment."

2. She coming out with her own clothing line with all pieces averaging under $20 - why? "Because fashion shouldn't be for the elite and quality is not a priviledge." Sounds as if she understands how much bullshit the industry is, her character's part in it, and this is her way of trying to level the field a bit.

3. She grew up dirt poor and QUIETLY lends her name, her money, and her time - for homeless and feeding the hungry causes.

Yeah, I can see how a smart, resourceful, fairly humble, confident, average-looking woman who happens to have some dumb-luck success could cause such a venemous reaction in you and in Maxim's editorial board.

God forbid that a fairly homely girl DOESN'T KNOW HER PLACE. Who does she think she is, right?

Why don't you throw some of that bullshit towards women that give us real women a bad name? I don't need to list them - there are plenty out there.

For someone who claims to love women - you sure came off like a first class asswipe here.

Diane

Despite the fact that you remember "Smokey" and I ...

2008-03-22T13:18:00.000-04:00

Despite the fact that you remember "Smokey" and I didn't think you were old enough to, perhaps you don't remember Parker's first television role as the homely girl with glasses on "Square Pegs". She knows she's thin and fashionable but not pretty, people have told her that in "the biz" since she was 15.

Ok, agree or disagree with the points in the post,...

2008-03-22T12:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, agree or disagree with the points in the post, it is well said. Not that I'm sucking up, a pastime I abhor, but after reading Kos and Crooks and Liars on the left and... well, I don't read anything from the right, really... it is refreshing that someone speaks up and doesn't give a damn about what the readers might think of the sentiment. And it is refreshing that it is well spoken with few typos or grammatical errors and some critical thinking behind it.

"conspicuously effeminate actor Matthew Broderick....

2008-03-22T12:09:00.000-04:00

"conspicuously effeminate actor Matthew Broderick..." Sweet.

Congrats on the bambino. I think she has your chin!

//c

HA! B.J. and the Bear...man, what a memory trip th...

2008-03-22T11:22:00.000-04:00

HA! B.J. and the Bear...man, what a memory trip that was...I'm still gigglin'!