Tuesday, May 07, 2013

That's Not Funny!

So, let's go ahead and spin the Wheel of Outrage and see what we land on this time. Oh, look at that -- we're back in familiar territory: The Onion.

I'm sure you all remember the Quvenzhané Wallis tweet-heard-round-the-world during the Oscars; our nation's psychic wounds are just now, finally, starting to heal in the wake of it. Well, now it looks like any chances the almost across-the-board brilliant satire site may have had of making amends and winning back fans within a certain segment of the perpetually indignant liberal intelligentsia have apparently been dashed because of a story it just posted just a little while ago. The target this time: Chris Brown.

Here's the piece in its entirety:

"LOS ANGELES—After revealing yesterday that he had recently split up with longtime girlfriend Rihanna, a heartbroken Chris Brown tearfully told reporters that he always thought the 25-year-old singer was going to be the woman he’d beat to death one day. 'Despite all the ups and downs, I was so sure Rihanna was the one I’d take by the throat one day and fatally assault, and even toward the end I continued to hold out hope that we’d be together until the day she died at my hands from blunt-force trauma,' Brown, 24, said in a radio interview this week, telling DJs he still has abusive feelings for his ex-flame and is hopeful that he might punch her again one day. 'It’s hard knowing that there’s some other guy out there who gets to beat her senseless. In fact, for all I know, there might be someone out there assaulting her right now. And let me tell you, that guy is the luckiest guy in the world.' A saddened Brown added that, should the couple not reconcile, he remains confident that the special someone he was meant to beat to death is still out there for him, and when he finds her, he’ll waste no time in slapping her."

Now you'd think that something this vicious that was obviously intended solely to demean Chris Brown -- an unapologetic woman-beating dickhead who should be in prison right now -- would be embraced by the usual names within the feminist media community. You'd think that, however only if you didn't allow for the fact that those same usual names believe that when it comes to certain predetermined subjects, satire should always be watered down at the risk of very stupid people maybe getting the wrong idea or the already victimized -- literally or figuratively -- being victimized all over again by something they read on a website that deals in smart humor.

And so, compliments of Salon, of course -- who immediately busted out its stock "Did _____ Go Too Far?" headline -- come these breaths of pure fire, designed to hopefully cleanse The Onion, and us, of our cultural sins.

As you can see, there are some thing that can't be the subject of biting satire, no matter who that very nasty bite is taken out of. There are some things that just aren't funny. There are -- eh, fuck it, how many times have I said this now?


Anonymous said...

Well they didn't think Swift's "A Modest Proposal" was funny either.

Claude Weaver said...

Did I step through a wormhole or something? Since when to supposedly smart people not get that the Onion is never to be taken seriously?

Wasn't there a point when this kind of super-serious treatment of an Onion article was considered worthy of derision? Wasn't there a point when everybody who wasn't a mouth-breather who couldn't comprehend satire or subtlety could get the fucking joke?

Maybe that is it. Maybe these people really did fall for it. And instead of just admitting it, they just plow ahead with this nonsense, trying to save face "I got the joke, but it isn't funny." Bullshit.

What happened? And do they realize they are essentially defending CHRIS FUCKSTICK BROWN with this? Becasue if his sociopathic ass isn't worthy of a Onion takedown, who is? And if some asshole goes and shares that article with a "hell, yeah" next to it, isn't he doing a public service by notifying all women within reach that he is a fuckstick as well?

This is like complaining about a Hitler joke because it says the Holocaust was one Jewish person getting a boo-boo. YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT OF THE JOKE.

Also, that last one, with the "bruised female researchers" part, that is FUNNY.

JohnF said...


Matt said...

Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do you think they actually read the "article" or is it just knee jerk by now?

Anonymous said...

Rage AIDS. Catch it.

-- Tony

JohnF said...

You know my rule:
Unfunny people don't get to tell actual funny people how to be funny. The Onion is quite simply one of the funniest publications in the history of comedy., they don't need humorless dicks coming along and ruining it. The Onion has a higher success rate than anyone this side of George Carlin or Dave Chappelle. For every Quvenzhané Wallis tweet that misfires they've got about 1000 jokes that hit the fucking bullseye.

Jessica Valenti, for all her other gifts, is not known for her ability to make with the yuks. I don't need her telling me what's funny and what isn't.

It's like Claude said, we used to make fun of people who believed Onion articles. When a Republican politician would forward links to the story about the Abortion-Plex, we would rightly mock them for idiots. When the Chinese believed the Onion piece about the new Capitol building with the retractable dome, that was hilarious. BECAUSE IT'S THE ONION.

Anonymous said...

This is better: http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/05/chris_brown_onion_i_m_a_feminist_and_i_liked_the_onion_s_story_about_chris.html

JohnF said...

I wonder how many Salon writers were offended by this Onion article?


I'm guessing NONE of them were.