Monday, March 04, 2013

Suffering Without Silence


Lindsay Noonan SanGiacomo is one of my favorite people in the world. She and I worked together as producers at CNN in New York City, hung out a lot outside of work, and generally bonded over everything from the perils of producing news to what at the time was our mutual lousy luck with relationships. I can't mention her without being honest about the importance of her role in my life: She pretty much saved me during the early part of 2009, when my marriage was falling apart, New York City began to seem like a very dark and lonely place, and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. Linds gave me a friend to talk to, a shoulder to lean on, and a place to go that I knew was safe. For that I'll always be grateful.

She got married not too long after I left and had a baby boy not long after that. She always wanted to be a good wife and a loving mother and I know that she's now both -- and this makes me very, very happy. A couple of weeks ago, though, she wrote to me to ask if I'd take a look at something she'd written that she was hoping to get published somewhere. I of course agreed and, upon reading, was heartbroken to learn that she'd recently had a miscarriage. She lost her second child. What she wrote about the experience, in the form of a series of tips on what not to say to someone who's miscarried, was tough stuff, but it was easy to see how valuable it could be to other women dealing with a kind of grief I can't even imagine (and those around them).

The Huffington Post has now published Lindsay's column.

Do yourself a favor and take a look.

The Huffington Post: What Not To Say To a Woman After a Miscarriage/3.4.13

1 comment:

Matt said...

I've found that the only appropriate response is "I'm so sorry" and then hug them for as long as it takes.