Friday, August 17, 2012

Magic Paul


"The Ryan selection sent a jolt of electricity, and the conservative base, including myself, are energized by it even as it allows Romney now to also appeal to young voters. In one week, Paul Ryan has become a national sex symbol."

-- Sean Hannity

I'm going to borrow a lot of what's in this post from Cesca, because honestly he put it almost exactly the same way I would've and I think this hilarity deserves to be seen and enjoyed by as many people as possible. What you're witnessing right now is a replay of the sexualizing of Sarah Palin that we saw four years ago. I'm sure you remember the National Review's Rich Lowry basically admitting that he couldn't help himself and began jerking-off while watching Palin in the 2008 vice presidential debate:

"Palin... projects through the screen like crazy. I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, 'Hey, I think she just winked at me.' And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it.'"

Well, now it's Paul Ryan's turn. And it sure as hell didn't take long. First came the whispers of Paul Ryan being "Gen X," and with that in mind, Cesca pondered on the podcast recording a couple of days ago how long it would take before the GOP began pushing Ryan -- in the most obvious, shameless and tawdriest of manners -- as some kind of beefcake stud who's suddenly starting to "excite" female voters, if you get my drift. On the podcast, we talked about the prospect of shirtless photos of Ryan turning up somewhere and the near-certainty that those photos would be released by strategists working for the Republicans themselves.


Well, guess what? The "Ryan is Hot" meme has begun on the right -- complete with a set of talking points and, yes, a visual aid.

By the way, one of the questions into this week's Daily Banter mailbag had to do with the chance that the right would try to superficially push Ryan as some kind of sex god. My response was, predictably, just rude as all hell. Free free to take a look.

Oh, and the only upside to this is the possibility that Rich Lowry will truly step up, take one for the team and state publicly and in comically flowery language that he's becoming gay for Paul Ryan. Or maybe, in an effort to keep the Sexy Ryan meme going, the GOP will force Ryan to suddenly and inexplicably pour pitchers of cold water over his head and down his shirt, in slow motion, at all kinds of inappropriate moments -- like when he's speaking to seniors or holding high-level staff meetings. If this keeps up, Ryan will eventually become the Matthew McConaughey of the Republican party: "Uh, ya know, today's vote I think would be a good opportunity to take mah shirt off."

3 comments:

pasta65 said...

Dana Loesch and a shower head.


You just had to go there didn't you.


Eric said...

The man still has an ugly mind.

L. said...

He can be as in shape as he wants, he still looks like a goober. Plus he's a total asshat, which is not exactly a turn on.

What I'm saying is, I wouldn't hit it.