My prayers to the gods of quality entertainment have been answered.
The Hollywood Reporter: "Rock of Ages" Falls Flat/6.16.12
I'd love to think that this will break the cultural curse that is Adam Shankman's career, but I doubt I'm that lucky or that Hollywood is that wise. Either way, maybe somebody somewhere will think twice the next time he or she gets the urge to green-light a movie that the director swears will be "a musical that guys will want to take their girls to!" or really anything that features Tom Cruise shirtless in leather pants, talking to a monkey and singing Glee-ified versions of shitty 80s rock songs.
Speaking of which, can we finally just admit that the 80s sucked and put to bed all that misguided nostalgia for it?