Thursday, June 21, 2012
I'm convinced that the title of Stephen Colbert's book, I am America (and So Can You!), is a subtle knock at Lee Greenwood's dumb-shit NASCAR national anthem, God Bless the U.S.A. -- the chorus of which is a hilarious butchery of basic grammar: "And I'm proud to be an American -- where at least I know I'm free."
Still, there's a debate raging over this ridiculous song -- in Brooklyn?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fox News's latest entirely made-up "national controversy" -- the War on Lee Greenwood.
News Hounds: Fox News Advances Lie About "Student Rally" in Response to Principal Removing Greenwood Song from Graduation/6.21.12
Cesca writes about this kind of thing all the time: Fox's propensity for aiming its considerable firepower at "non-combatants" -- like school principals.
Personally I think that the song should be banned from a kindergarten graduation ceremony because, again, it murders the English language. But if Fox News does actually exert enough pressure to get it put back in, might I recommend using it as a kind of test. Any kid who doesn't sing the chorus and immediately turn to a teacher and say, "That doesn't make sense" -- that kid gets held back a year.