Thursday, June 21, 2012

Proud Bury


I'm convinced that the title of Stephen Colbert's book, I am America (and So Can You!), is a subtle knock at Lee Greenwood's dumb-shit NASCAR national anthem, God Bless the U.S.A. -- the chorus of which is a hilarious butchery of basic grammar: "And I'm proud to be an American -- where at least I know I'm free."

Still, there's a debate raging over this ridiculous song -- in Brooklyn?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fox News's latest entirely made-up "national controversy" -- the War on Lee Greenwood.

News Hounds: Fox News Advances Lie About "Student Rally" in Response to Principal Removing Greenwood Song from Graduation/6.21.12

Cesca writes about this kind of thing all the time: Fox's propensity for aiming its considerable firepower at "non-combatants" -- like school principals.

Personally I think that the song should be banned from a kindergarten graduation ceremony because, again, it murders the English language. But if Fox News does actually exert enough pressure to get it put back in, might I recommend using it as a kind of test. Any kid who doesn't sing the chorus and immediately turn to a teacher and say, "That doesn't make sense" -- that kid gets held back a year.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

hate hate hate hate. You dont hate the song you hate the people who love it. You hate them so much there not allowed to like stuff. The sentiment behind the Principal banning it is typical liberal teeth sucking boo the usa nonsense. She took all that bull shit and flung over a bunch of kids and chez says ah fuck the rednecks.

Chez said...

Thanks, Gabby Johnson.

Claude Weaver said...

The kids should be able to hear authentic frontier gibberish, Chez

Anonymous said...

YW. You're taste in music is kind of 50/50 for me in general but id rather have Greenwood's song Willam Defoe AIT procedured into my head the listen to Justin Beibers baby which is what she made those poor innocent children listen to so as not to insult other cultures (liberal douche bags)
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/456a15f639/the-procedure-with-willem-dafoe-will-ferrell-from-adam-ghost-panther-mckay

Anonymous said...

I believe the title of Colbert's book is actually "I Am America (And So Can You!)". Not that it changes anything about the article. I just felt the need to mention that because Stephen Colbert is the man.

Colonel Yelgen P. Masters said...

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of.

Chez said...

You are totally right, Anon. My screw up. Thanks for the correction.

Claude Weaver said...

@Anon 8:15PM: Wow, really? A Bieber diss? I mean, are we still doing that now? I thought that was over. I mean, Rock of Ages should have killed the "only today's kids have shitty taste in music" meme, or at least buried it.

And to be honest, I would rather have Bieber's whiny barely-cracking voice and false bravado than to here Greenwood's mewling in that song. He sounds like I imagine John Boehner sounds when he's singing: constantly on the verge of tears, barely keeping in tune because LURVES HIS COUNTRY OH. SO. MUCH.

But hey, thanks for the link!

JohnF said...

I know I've said this before, but is there any way to make the Anonymouses at least come up with different screen names before they're allowed to post? Not that any of them have much to say, but I'd at least like to be able to tell them apart.

kanye said...

“It is a peculiarity of the development of American fascism that at the present stage it comes forward principally in the guise of an opposition to fascism, which it accuses of being an “un-American” trend imported from abroad.” – Georgi Dimitrov, 1935

“When and if fascism comes to America it will not be labeled ‘made in Germany’; it will not be marked with a swastika; it will not even be called fascism; it will be called, of course, ‘Americanism’.” - Halford E. Luccock, 1938

“When fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in a leather flag jacket and waving a microphone.” Me, Today

ZIRGAR said...

I prefer "Freedom Isn't Free" from Team America: World Police. Actually, any of the songs from that movie would be a major improvement over Greenwood's song.

J. Dack said...

God dammit, now I have that horrible fucking song stuck in my head.

Thanks a lot, Chez.

Anonymous said...

In 1993, I got sent home from school, suspended for five days, for refusing to stand up during the pledge of allegiance.

My grand parents fled from Austria and even growing up in my household, German was the primary language. My grandparents were circus performers who managed to get out...while most of their close friends ended up in camps.

It was instilled in me that a great country like America doesn't require loyalty oaths because it doesn't need them.

My social studies teacher, an old dude, told me I did the right thing. He served in the Army and was one of the units that liberated France.

I proudly served six years in the Navy, from 2000-2006, doing multiple combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. I am often amazed at the individuals who seem the loudest about what makes an American are typically the ones least likely to sacrifice for that notion.

I guess none of that matters. Its a shit song...butchering the English language, celebrating a notion of a country that doesn't fucking exist.