Friday, June 01, 2012

Big Damn Heroes, Sir


You wouldn't think of J.C. Penney as being on the cutting edge of anything, but damn is the store proving itself to be the new standard-bearer of civil rights, forward-thinking politics and the best way to deal with the self-righteous assholes who stand opposed to both.

You might remember that recently, one of those "traditional" family organizations composed entirely of bitter, white Christian tight-asses -- this one in particular, "One Million Moms" -- went after Penney's for its use of Ellen Degeneres as a spokesperson and its decision to feature a lesbian couple in a Mother's Day ad. The group bitched and moaned, prattled on about how the company was promoting the homosexual agenda -- you know, the usual crap. So how did Penney's respond? Not by backing down and submitting to the will of these ignorant harpies, but instead by sticking with Degeneres and not pulling the ad from anywhere.

Well now J.C. Penney has upped the ante and what's more has done so simply by acknowledging that the dynamic of the American family is in fact changing -- and that there's not a thing wrong with that. The company's new Father's Day ad features, you guessed it, a real-life gay couple and their kids. It's sad to think that simply showing a happy, well-adjusted family with a couple of gay men as the father figures is a big subversive fuck-you to anyone, but on the other hand it's fun to think it's a big subversive fuck-you to One Million Moms and the rest of its ilk.

Behold the statement put out by OMM in response to the new Penney's ad:

"It’s obvious that JCP would rather take sides than remain neutral in the culture war. JCP will hear from the other side, so they need to hear from us as well. Our persistence will pay off! One day we will answer for our actions or lack of them. We must remain diligent and stand up for Biblical values and truth. Scripture says multiple times that homosexuality is wrong, and God will not tolerate this sinful nature."

Uh-huh. Suck it, ladies.

As for me, I'm gonna start wearing the Stafford khakis my own mom buys me every damn Christmas with pride. Thanks Penney's -- and thanks mom.

14 comments:

Fred Teifeld said...

As a hetero male with some GLBT friends, I fully support Penny's and their stance. Time long overdue that a business stood up for whats right.

I've heard that giant sucking sound is One Million Moms all choking at once on whatever it is they have their lips wrapped around.

Adrienne Saia said...

Hey, ladies of OMM:

1 Corinthians 14:34-35.

The Bible mentions some primo shit about your actions, too. If you're going to tout "Biblical values," you should probably abide by all of them.

Just sayin'.

tara said...

Isn't there something in the Bible about playing with live rattlesnakes too? 'Cause I hear that turns out well, OMMs. Give it a whirl.

Matt said...

What I just don't understand is what the hell these jagoffs are so fucking afraid of. I have a new "nephew" with two moms and I think that kid is going to turn out to be awesome, just from the amount of love coming at him from all sides.

Heather said...

Love this! And the comments posted here already. :)

Chez said...

Don't you understand, though, Matt? He's going to hell! They're all going to hell!

pea said...

Sounds to me like hell is full of happy, funny, intelligent, tolerant people and heaven is the bastion of tight-lipped, tight-assed, humorless fuckwits. If I believed in any of this nonsens, I'd say give me hell.

alopecia said...

It’s obvious that JCP would rather take sides than remain neutral in the culture war.

That is the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've read today.

Hmm. I need some new shirts and there's a JCPenney store just a few minutes from my home …

Iris M said...

Note to self: pop into Penneys on my next day off and buy something, anything. Also, I remain firmly convinced that "Hell" is going to look just like Burningman: it's super hot, there's naked weirdo hedonists everywhere, all my friends are stoked I made it and the music sucks. Uh, yeah. Done and done. See you in He...er, at Home.

Ref said...

Been buying stuff there for years. Will happily continue doing so.

Busayo said...

For people who claim to love Jesus and his message ("Love one another as I have loved you," "Treat people the way you yourself want to be treated"), they sure spend a lot of their time hating.

AppleDoc said...

I think JCP's new corporate brand, ad campaign, etc. since Ron Johnson's hire have been great. And he did fantastic work at Apple previously.

However, from what I've heard from friends in retail, JCP is still struggling compared to Kohl's, Target, Walmart, etc. While it's early yet in the rebrand, if you really want to show support for JCP go beyond words and open the wallet; buy something there!

Otherwise, no matter how great we think it is that they stand up to OMM and other extreme groups, if JCP loses the war for the almighty dollar these groups will think that they've "won" every time a store closes.

Matt said...

I get your point Chez, and I know that I shouldn't be surprised at the idiocy that some people display. I grew up in Pennsyltucky and have spent the last decade in central Florida, so I've seen a lot of stupid. Hell, Larry the Cable Guy lives in the same town as me. With a lot of the people that I grew up with, I think that their attitudes come in large part from their isolation from different viewpoints. Many still don't travel much from that area and have viewpoints that would easily fit into the 1950's. I have to wonder if the anger and hatred that is displayed is because all they know about gay people or minorities is the stereotypes they have seen on TV. I know that my attitudes took many abrupt shifts when I went to college and saw a lot of new things. How many of these ranting homophobes actually know a gay person, but don't realize it since he/she isn't acting like they would expect? Like the guy who said that if the boy holds up a limp wrist, go over and smack them? Aside from TV, when have you seen anyone acting swish in a normal situation? Oh yeah, I also had a born-again aunt who liked to show preteens anti-abortion propaganda. And people wonder why I don't visit that much.

Unknown said...

My sense of humor is infantile at best which is why I giggle like a schoolgirl whenever groups like OMM talk about the so called "gay agenda" being "shoved down their throats"