A two-fer today. Above, it's the cockblocking "Purity Bear," followed by at least one hilariously alarmist statistic regarding guys who dare to have sex before getting married. (Not shown: 20 minutes later, when Captain Blueballs there pulls up to the home of his other girlfriend, the one who eagerly rides him like he's Secretariat every chance she gets while openly mocking the Junior League prude he just dropped off.)
Below, it's William Tapley -- AKA "The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse" -- explaining in Aspergerian detail why the death of Whitney Houston was a message from God for Barack Obama.
Christians, man. Gotta love 'em.
(via Christian Nightmares)