Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Quote of the Day, Jr.

"He's like a character in a Bruce Willis movie. He just knows how to stay alive. He's running through the jungle, fighting back, shooting from the hip, takes a lot of hits, stays angry the entire time, and he is giving a voice to a lot of people out there whose lives have been completely upended."

-- Tom Brokaw on Rick Santorum, during MSNBC's coverage of the Republican primaries last night

Where to even being. It's this kind of nonsense that frustrates the hell out of anyone looking for intelligent, responsible political reportage and analysis on cable news. No, Tom, Santorum isn't like a character in a movie, nor is he a horse in a race; he's very real and his rhetoric and proposed policies have the potential to impact the entire country. And the people he's largely giving a voice to -- the ones whose lives have been "upended," mostly by the frightening march of progress -- are those who believe that we need to return to the 19th century when it comes to our politics and pervading beliefs on subjects like religion and women's rights. He says the separation of church and state makes him sick, that a college education is for snobs and those willing to be indoctrinated by liberal thinking, and that Satan, the father of lies, is behind this country's troubles. But instead of parsing the policies and views of a man running for President of the United States and the way they could affect each and every one of us, Brokaw can only sit back and marvel at Santorum's supposedly ferocious tenacity.

This is why no one with a mildly functional brain gives a shit about anything the TV news networks have to say about politics anymore.

Yeah, Tom -- Santorum is like a character in a Bruce Willis movie. He's Brad Pitt's delusional mental patient Jeffrey Goines from 12 Monkeys. And if you don't have the balls to at least notice that because you're too busy clinging to some horseshit illusion of objectivity, then no one should be listening to you.


Anonymous said...

Santorum to Romney with the concession phone call: "I'll show you something severely conservative that will be dripping with Santorum, so, Yippee Ki Yay,Muthaf*cker!"

WTF Brokaw. I'll smoke what you're smoking.

pasta65 said...

But, but, but, but Tom Brokaw said it so it must be important. It must mean something, right?

I want all of these old, clueless, Depends diaper wearing fools to go away.

Sadly when they do I'll be the Depends diaper wearing fool.

alopecia said...

Tom Brokaw lost me with his "Greatest Generation" hooey. He was an adequate newsreader, but he blows as a historian. I can't comment on his skills as a pundit (no cable, thank Ceiling Cat), but based on the quote you kindly provided, it's reasonable to conclude he probably blows at that, too.

Eric said...

Chez, I respectfully disagree. Santorum is like a character in a movie, it's just that I would have gone with Lenny in any of the several film adaptations of Of Mice And Men before I went with any of Bruce Willis' archetypical roles.

I'd also go with Blaster from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome if anyone wants to extend the metaphor to Gingrich being Master: two guys, each half-a-candidate (Mr. "Not Romney", R-Unknown) riding piggyback through the primary schedule, one of them a pathetic retard and the other a midget painted in pigshit. Bruce Willis, still not-so-much.

Capt Clown said...

...And just like 12 Monkeys, you have to watch him at least 3 times just to figure out what the fuck is going on.

L. said...

Since we're comparing Santorum to characters in movies, I'm going with M-O from WALL-E (if we pretend that instead of being adorable, M-O has a face that begs to be punched).

He thinks he's doing the right thing by obsessively ridding the world of filth, but in the end he's never going to make any real progress because the world around him will never be as clean and sterile as he thinks it should be. No matter what's going on around him or how detrimental his actions might be to himself or others, he is unable to see anything but his own agenda.