Saturday, December 03, 2011

Sexual Healing

So yesterday morning the Herman Cain campaign officially launched a website called "Women for Cain" which aims to be a place where female supporters of Herman Cain can gather online, chat, and presumably submit testimonials about how they once met Herman and he didn't, in fact, proposition them for sex in a public restroom during the five minutes they were in his general vicinity.

Understand that upon Cain's exit from the presidential race -- and very likely the home he shares with his wife -- the site will double as a really terrific database of names and e-mail addresses Cain can troll through to seek somebody new to freak on.

Either way, this thing exists -- which proves that Herman Cain is the greatest comedian of our generation. While I managed to come up with the couple of minor cracks I just made, I know that I couldn't in a million years improve comedically on the sheer surreal brilliance of this latest unimaginable Cain venture if I tried.

Mr. Cain, I salute you.

Oh, by the way, the best part about the Cain website -- and by best I mean most illustrative of the haplessly inept way he's run his entire campaign -- is the fact that the picture of the smiling women in the above banner is a stock photo.

Update: The stock photo banner was apparently taken down pretty quickly. What's replaced it is infinitely funnier (see for yourself). But for a time the space between the words "Women" and "Cain" was left blank, which led Gawker to commission a little photoshop contest. This was by far the best entry:


Anonymous said...

Now even the stock ladies have fled!

pea said...

They pulled that stock photo mere hours after the site had been launched. For an even better laugh, look at the banner now. I nearly spewed coffee all over my laptop.

Chez said...

Yup. That is pretty priceless. He looks like he's feeling her up. Of course since that's his wife, we know he's not.

pea said...

Might could be he'll be changing that picture to one of him standing by his lonesome come this afternoon.

Doc said...

I have a feeling that the whole 9-9-9 thing relates to how big he thinks his dick is.

So that every time it's repeated his ego gets all pumped up in his crotch and he can search out some more tail. The whole 'Respect the cock' thing from Magnolia.