Friday, November 18, 2011

Quote of the Day


"I truly believe that 'Twilight' is worthless as source material. I do not believe there is a filmmaker alive who could manage the impossible feat of creating a faithful adaptation of Meyer's book and also making a good movie. Going into the home stretch, I think this is one of the worst blockbuster franchises of all time, inept from start to finish, and getting worse as they go. There will come a time when we look back on these films and wonder what sort of mob insanity drove their success, and we will laugh and shake our heads and pretend they were never really that popular."

-- Drew McWeeny at Hit Fix on the release of the new Twilight movie today

What's interesting is that I've read a couple of decent -- not necessarily "sparkling," if you'll pardon the pun, but decent -- reviews for this new movie. I actually have a theory about why that is, though: I think it's submission to a kind of cultural Stockholm Syndrome. It's human nature, and certainly the way things work in the entertainment industry, that when something is extraordinarily popular we try to find value in it, even if there is none. Even though we've become used to garbage being elevated to the level of art by the masses, it still creates a cognitive dissonance that we subconsciously can't accept. So we fool ourselves into believing it's something worth all the acclaim being aimed in its direction by the faithful.

This is the reason Hollywood can't handle the idea of "movie stars" anymore, not without being able to laud them as brilliant actors as well -- it's why Julia Roberts has an Oscar. She had to get one. She couldn't be just a star.

I think critics who've finally sort of embraced the Twilight series have just given up and given in. They're through fighting the madness and have convinced themselves that there's something there that really isn't -- something a world of idiots have been seeing for years. They figure, to borrow the phrasing of an old Elvis record, that 50,000,000 people can't be wrong. Except that in this case, they are.

11 comments:

Mimi said...

Of course they're wrong, but when your 12 year old daughter wants to see it with her friends...

Donal said...

I saw the first one, and it seemed like two distinct movies - a teen romance - then a clean break to an action flick. I like Pattinson and Stewart from other films, but haven't bothered to watch the sequels.

Dr. Squid said...

I'm waiting for the Family Guy rendering of Kristen Stewart, as more than just a Chris Griffin joke. I expect her to be a long lost member of the Bottomtooth family.

TheReaperD said...

I made the mistake of watching the first one (hadn't read the books) and even if this one doesn't suck werewolf cock, the throngs of screeching tween girls who would climb over themselves to do just that is one of many pedo-fetishes that I want no part of.

Joe! said...

I just don't see the point in 40-year-old men spending so much energy hating these movies. They are not made for them. Don't get me wrong - I have no problem with critics assessing these films, and from my own experience, I can tell you that I think think they're awful. But I leave it at that. People act as though it's an affront to cinema. Well it's made for teenage girls.. and kind of fits that description pretty well. No one sits down and judges the artistic merit of the Wiggles.. because it's a kid's show made for 3 year olds. Am I making sense?

Chez said...

I beat it up because it's fun to beat it up and I beat up on everything -- but the fact is that while it was made for the "YA" genre, it inexplicably wound up being beloved by really, really stupid 30-something women, often the parents of the young, impressionable girls it was aimed at. And that makes it a special brand of ridiculous -- meaning the phenomenon. As for why I actually think it does a certain amount of harm, there are two reasons: 1) the books are just terrible and yet made a fortune, so they should be called out for that whenever possible, 2) read the "Hulk" review below, which goes deeper into why its message is bad for stupid, impressionable girls.

ntx said...

My wife is an otherwise discerning person whom I admire. She loves the "Twilight" books and movies, while freely admitting that they are crap. Joe! is right; these things were mot made for the likes of us.

I have to say though, if I were a vampire like this guy Edward, I wouldn't be shy about it. MILFs are crazy about the vampires.

namron said...

"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." - H.L. Mencken

Anonymouse said...

Alright folks...lets get some fucking perspective. Pop movies have always fucking sucked. Please...someone please try to argue with me that the film "Titanic" is somehow not just as much pre-teen emotion porn. Or other shit such as "Pearl Harbor" or any of the fucking "Star Wars". Americans have terrible tastes. Get enough of us together, we eat fucking fried butter.

Is "Twilight" total shit...hell yeah. But kids today don't magically have worse tasted then we did or our parents and so on. Go back and watch Buck Rodgers and realize that old people were fucking insane as kids.

Anonymous said...

Since you loathe the whole Twilight thing so much, why do you and your oh-so hip buddies at Pajiba continue to give it free publicity? Is it really impossible for you to ignore it? Oh and seeing as you are a former junkie, you have no ground to stand on when calling out someone else for sending youngsters a bad message.

Chez said...

I figured I'd go ahead and publish your comment just so everyone could see how fucking stupid you are. Enjoy.