Wednesday, November 16, 2011

That Newt Star Smell

What with Newt Gingrich's pre-picked raffle number finally coming up and it being his turn as the GOP Clown Car flavor of the week, it's time once again to engage in a beloved tradition this election season: immediately subjecting a Republican candidate to blistering criticism rather than simply writing him or her off as the comical non-starter he or she is.

Unlike a lot of the other boobs vying for the Republican nomination, Gingrich actually has a lengthy record of breathtaking fuck-ups to draw from, so immediately pointing out that he'll never be the GOP nominee, much less President of the United States, is even easier than it's been with past one-night-stands Republican voters have romanticized.

In case you forgot Gingrich's history of almost unimaginable douchebaggery, Joan Walsh runs it down for you in today's Salon.

Salon: Newt Gingrich: His Baggage Has Baggage/11.15.11


Bill Orvis White said...

Sorry, Chez, but the honorable Speaker Gingrich is more qualified to be president than the community-organizer-in-chief: an installed Marxist Kenyan who has done more economic damage to this once-free nation than Frankie Roosevelt, JFK, Jimmah Carter and Bubba Clinton combined. While the honorable Speaker Gingrich is still not my first choice to be president, I'm still praying for Herman Cain to combat the lies and forge ahead all the way to the White House in January 2013. Now, with those facts clearly laid out here on this lefty blog, WE THE PEOPLE in the rightful tea party have a laundry list of Speaker Gingrich's many accomplishments. The biggest Speaker Gingrich achievement is balancing the budget under Bubba Clinton. THE only reason the economy did well under Bubba was because Speaker Gingrich and his rightful Congress were able to strong-arm that incompetent president to do the right thing. Speaker Gingrich along with Majority Leader Armey were able to stop Billary Clinton, a Godless lesbian, from instituting an illegal socialized health care plan which would have bankrupted us beyond belief. So, you seculars out there trying to re-write history saying that Bubba Clinton had a great economy are wrong. That great economy happened thanks to Speaker Gingrich. So, if Speaker Gingrich rightfully become president, WE THE PEOPLE in the tea party will see jobs and a culture of life return. Speaker Gingrich is a man of honesty, character and most of all, competence. Clowns in the rightful Republican field, Chez? How about your Socialist-Democrat clowns which include: Denny Kucinich, Hussein Obama, Hairy Reid, Nanny Pelosi and Bawney Frank. The list could go on and on because it is the Socialist-Democrat Party of the once-free US of A that contains Godless philanderers. The rightful Republican Party is the party of cleanliness and fiscal responsibility. Amen, Bill

Chez said...

Bill, I never thought I'd say this -- but it's getting damn stale. A good satirist knows when to shake things up a bit.

Capn said...

He DOES however qualify perfectly to be the VEEP, including the goofy name.