Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Gay Perry*

I'll make this quick.

Chances are by now you've seen the latest video clip in the ongoing contest between the GOP presidential candidates to see which one can out-crazy all the rest. Just when you thought Herman Cain had pretty much locked up the game with last week's audaciously hallucinatory Cigarette Smoking Man ad, along comes Rick Perry to slam the table with a satisfied, "Domino, motherfucker!" His 25-minute speech at a Cornerstone event in New Hampshire this past Friday -- the YouTubed proof of which has now gone viral -- is so indescribably surreal that it's difficult to imagine not only how it can be topped but the level to which it immediately takes the entire Republican race for the White House. To keep in mind as you watch it that this guy is the governor of Texas, the former frontrunner and a Time magazine cover boy and someone who is still by some considered a possible nominee is to admit that conservative politics have truly achieved a kind of blissful lunatic Nirvana and will likely never come back to the serious realm of planet Earth again.

But while the obvious reaction to the video clip -- the first place most people's minds have gone, judging by the various things being written and said about it -- is disbelief, followed quickly by the conclusion that Perry has to be drunk or high or otherwise intoxicated, my thoughts immediately went somewhere else.

I'll probably catch a certain amount of crap for this for a couple of different reasons, but I was maybe about ten minutes into the clip before I think I actually said out loud to my computer screen, "Wow, I guess those rumors were true -- this guy is flaming."

Now, no, despite the word of a couple of prominent political consultants I'm close to who really do maintain that Perry's sexuality is one of the worst-kept secrets in politics and the aforementioned rumors dating back years -- many involving an alleged affair Perry had with his former secretary of state in Texas, a man named Geoff Connor -- I tend to dismiss all accusations that can't be easily backed up with facts. I have no idea whether Rick Perry is gay and while almost anything is within the realm of possibility, I'm not a fan of perpetuating conspiracist ramblings, so I'm not in any way claiming that I have it on infallible authority that Perry is lying his ass off about his sexual orientation. What I'm saying is that while the New Hampshire clip is disconcertingly weird for a whole host of reasons that kind of gnaw at the inside of your skull, one of the most pronounced is how Perry's gun-toting, shit-kicking tough guy suddenly seems to have been replaced by somebody apparently in possession of a whole arsenal of affected effeminate mannerisms. I mean, Jack Twist didn't even act that queenie -- he certainly never cuddled with a bottle of maple syrup -- and he really was supposed to be a gay cowboy.

The irony, of course, is that it's hard to get too worked up about the mere mention of, oh, I don't know, let's call it "gayerism" -- like birtherism, only more colorful and with better music -- because Perry himself had no trouble once again dredging up the question of President Obama's birth certificate recently, another topic which has almost always been the realm of the conspiracy minded. It's also worth noting, as a disclaimer, that I'm not claiming that every gay man is swishing and flamboyant, only that Perry struck me as being exactly that the other day -- and it flies in the face of the image he usually presents to his constituency and the country. He looked, to me at least, like a guy who'd just come out of the closet and was talking and acting like the "real him" for the first time in his life (and for the record, I actually thought he came off as unusually likable during the New Hampshire speech).

But look, again, I don't have a lick of proof on this -- though I'm definitely curious to know if I'm the only one who watched the Perry video and thought, as Bryan Safi would say, "That's gay."

*Again I'm not saying Rick Perry is actually gay. It's a movie reference -- one of several in this post, now that I think about it.


Ursula said...

"Today has been awesome, giirrllll!"
/crazy arm waving

That’s as far as I got. Just...no. Can’t handle that much Perry while sober.

Riles said...

Nope, it's not just you. I watched the video yesterday and my immediate thoughts were that this guy is unhinged and is acting very effeminate.

Anonymous said...

Has there ever been a presidential field this absolutely weird? I know it's a trite analogy, but the whole thing has genuinely turned into a reality freak show. I think the whole Trump episode was just to soften us up for what was to come. And yet the pundits still chuckle along at the one millionith Obama teleprompter joke. I'm sorry, but he's just in a different world than these clowns and it frightens me that it's not obvious to all.

Ref said...

Somebody on the Hullabaloo list had a pretty good take on him. He looks in that video like a guy who's coming apart. He didn't really want to run for President. He was talked into it and it was fun while he was briefly the tough talkin' Texan front-runner. Then he failed miserably at debating, people started picking him apart, he plummetted in the polls, and Matt Taibbi tore him several new ways to defecate in Rolling Stone. He's just an emotional wreck.

Anonymous said...

Alright...I have watch this video about three times to try and figure out why exactly you dubbed Rick Perry as homosexual....

I don't see it. Believe me...I would know.

To every straight person on the planet...ANIMATED does not equal GAY. Please Chez...tell me exactly what throws off your "gaydar" that in the clip you linked to.

Also...I know I will get shit for this from you and you fans...but why does it matter? If Rick Perry wants to be a self loathing homosexual why does it matter to you?

I hate my fellow gays that hide their lifestyles...yet I understand why. I never honestly came out to my parents. For six years I served in the military I gave up sex...primarily because the heterosexuals I served with...I thought couldn't handle it.

I can proudly say I found out my last year in...none of them cared. But I can still understand why a good portion of us go through the motions.

Especially when heteros have such in grained views of us. We are not all the cliche. I am willing to bet that if you were to meet me, I would not set off your "gaydar".

Does it say more that if were Perry gay about him or society in general?

pea said...

Yeah, my gaydar went on red alert. But I think it was Xanax or maybe coke that brought teh gay out of him. He was too alert and non-slurry for him to be drunk, maaaaybe he just smoked some really hardcore sativa, but I'm more inclined to lean toward chemicals.

Anon, no, I don't think there's ever been this much hardcore crazy going on. And here I thought the raised hands to the "who here doesn't believe in evolution?" question in the 2007 debates was the pinnacle of insanity. Who knew?

Chez said...

I didn't think it was worth adding that I don't care one bit whether Perry is gay, Anonymous. Hell, if anything it'd be mildly refreshing -- although the fact that he'd be a hardcore conservative leading a secret life that many in his base would find reprehensible would be noteworthy.

As for what set off my "gaydar," it was mostly the contrast of Perry's mannerisms with what we're used to seeing from him -- the image he usually projects. Maybe I just felt like somebody like Perry would never gesticulate that wildly and, occasionally yes, effeminately. Yeah, a lot of straight people talk and behave like that and no one thinks anything of it, nor should they -- but on someone as generally uptight as Perry, it not only seemed out of place, it struck me that if that's the "real him," loosened by alcohol or drugs or just not giving a crap, it's something much more flamboyant than the image he tries hard to project. And so then I ask, "why?"

As for your mild rebuke that not all gay people are animated -- or are any one way at all, really -- I'm not even going to bother responding to that kind of silly criticism since I already did in the post.

IrishGirl said...

He definitely set off my gaydar and precisely for the same reason that Chez describes--the difference between his typical persona and the one in this speech. Usually he is gruff, unemotional and typically hetero (I know this is stereotypical, but it's the general model of behavior for what we label as hetero male) and then in that speech he was very flamboyant (again, I know stereotypical)--the key is the contrast.

And to second what Pea said, there is no way he was drunk...not enough slurring and he had far too much energy. I was thinking Pot or Sativa myself, particularly at the 3:43 mark where he repeats "I grew up on a farm" and then laughs. He is just having so much fun amusing himself...It's as if no one else needed to be there. The entire thing is just too bizarre and incredibly entertaining!

Anonymous said...

What an embarrassment. What a bunch of bozos and this one in particular. American exceptionalism? Yes, exceptionally awful.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Who knows about Perry. Bachmann yes, without a doubt, Marcus - you go girl. But yes, I do care that Marcus is gay, and yet hides it, because I really really want to punch that girlfriend in his fat stomach


Anonymous said...

I don't know, I didn't see anything that wrong with it. As far as drugs, I could see maybe cocaine. And there were definitely a few places where he pronounced words or phrases in a sort of "gay" way. But I thought he seemed really happy, for whatever reason, and he seemed like he was really, for once, being himself.