Monday, September 12, 2011

Thinking Outside the Inbox


Yet another entry in our ongoing series which brings just some of the PR-firm junk e-mail I regularly get to you, the readers.

Hi Chez!

As fans anxiously await the season premiere of Glee on September 20th, those looking for even more mash-ups, more show-mance, and more Sue need only head to their local bookstores to get their hands on any of the three pitch-perfect original Glee novels currently available from Poppy/Little, Brown. Recognizing the show’s powerful and passionate fan base, each book in the Glee publishing program is created in close collaboration with the creators of Fox’s hit show, and reflects the series’ intelligent comedic sensibility and quirky, heartfelt story lines.

GLEE: THE BEGINNING

Want to know what was happening with Rachel, Kurt, Quinn and Finn before Will Schuster took over the Glee Club? Find out in the first Original Glee Novel, a prequel that transports readers to McKinley High's hallways before the show began.

GLEE: FOREIGN EXCHANGE

Can Rachel Berry rock a beret? McKinley High goes international when a French glee club comes to town in the second pitch-perfect original Glee novel!

GLEE: SUMMER BREAK

In this brand-new story officially approved by the creators of Glee, Mr. Schuester doesn't want the glee club to lose its momentum over summer break, so he's talked Rachel, Finn, and the crew into running a singing workshop for local kids.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if you need me to send copies of the books/additional information.

I'd be happy to send you books for a giveaway!

All best,

Lily

And now, my response:

Lily,

OMG! This must be my lucky day! You know, I was just sitting here thinking to myself that if only there had been a phenomenon like Glee bukkakeing the face of pop culture during my high school days, I probably wouldn't have grown into the bitter, elitist, middle-aged heterosexual asshole I am today. That's because Glee makes being a gay teenager look so, well, just so darn awesome that I likely would've tried to convert in the hope of eventually becoming a bitter, elitist, middle-aged homosexual asshole like Glee creator Ryan Murphy.

Alas, there were no shows like Glee during my formative years, and so a childhood spent feasting on The A-Team and Knight Rider meant that I was one of the unlucky, drab ones who didn't get to dance around his or her bedroom to whatever was the Katy Perry-esque underdog anthem of the era, proudly proclaiming how cool it was to be so liberatingly uncool.

Anyhoo, bottom line: No, not really interested in any Glee books, even for a free giveaway. In fact, I'm trying to figure out why the hell anyone would want to read a story that's usually set to music if you can't hear the music. Although if you do happen to be in direct contact with Ryan Murphy -- and he's not busy trying to remove the guitar Dave Grohl jammed up his ass -- please let him know that every time Gwyneth Paltrow makes an appearance on his show and butchers a song, I realize just a little more that Seven had a happy ending.

Toodles,

Chez : )

3 comments:

Matt said...

Sir,
I think you may have outdone yourself. I shall now slow clap for one minute.

Anonymous said...

How do I get PR people to send me stuff? While I don't personally want Glee books, I know certain younger people who would. Or is that me asking to be a media whore, or just whore?

patp67 said...

Another masterpiece of sarcastic wit.
Ferris, you're my hero.

Patrick