Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Feet, FAIL Me Now

I consider it a point of extraordinary pride that I've never watched two seconds of Dancing with the Stars.

Apparently, people care that the cast of "celebrity" hoofers for the new season of this cultural abomination has just been announced; it includes Rob Kardashian, Kristin Cavalarri, David Arquette, Carson Kressley, Ricki Lake, Chaz Bono and -- Nancy Grace.

Just -- wow.

The only other place you can find this motley a collection of washed-up, shallow, brain-dead, grotesquely freakish and outright dangerous nobodies right now is on the GOP presidential campaign trail.


Stephen said...


Anonymous said...

although it might be fun to see Nancy Grace and Chaz Bono dancing cheek-to-cheek.

Anonymous said...

If the natural progression of TV in the world continues (let's be completely fucking honest, all this pop culture crap is the same throughout the globe), eventually we will have a program where D list "stars" are fucking bludgeoned on TV, snuff film style, for 15 more minutes of fame.

And I for one...look forward to it.

Steven D Skelton said...

My wife likes the show, and I've watched a couple seasons of it.

I won't anymore

It used to remind me of the variety shows I watched with my parents in the 70's...and I kind of enjoyed handicapping the field.

But now, what little "competition" there was has taken a backseat to the producers trying to see if they can draw every single god damn demographic possible....quality of the show be damned.

I don't mind if some of the contestants are a little old or out of shape...but for fucks sake Chaz Bono is like 400 lbs...who wants to watch that dance.

And how can you call it Dancing with the Stars when most of these people aren't stars? Chaz Bono is only known because his parents were stars and a surgeon made his penis. Robert Kardishian...is that OJ's lawyer. Didn't his 15 minutes of fame end in 1996?

Steven D Skelton said...

Anon 10:59

ABC already has a show (wipeout) that is essentially Owe My Balls from Idiocracy.

My daughter loves it....ugh

Anonymous said...

I like David Arquette though.

kanye said...

This season on "Dancing with the Stars"

@DwainIBe said...

So Nancy Grace bullies a young girl into taking her own life and gets rewarded with a dancing show? Nice. Freaking love this country.

Ducky said...

Chez. I hate to be "that guy", but I think you misspelled fluffers.

Mart said...

I do not watch, but expect the remote will slow down when clicking through while Hope Solo is dancing...

Girl With Curious Hair said...

Are you sure we can't talk you into watching this? At least when Nancy Grace is on? You know she's going to try to rip someone's head off at some point.

Ref said...

I responded to a friend who is a Nancy Grace fan just to annoy me that I could only hope a camera would catch her in an unguarded moment being the self-centered, mean-spirited, truthless sleaze we all know she really is.

CNNfan said...

Where may I audition for be a dance partner for Nancy Grace?

Firstly, I can easily pass a background check including finger prints, and I have perfect credit.

Secondly, I have many good references including several TV appearances and I am published in books.

Thirdly, The President of The United States just sent me an 8 by 10 autographed photo to share with CNNfans on our homepage. Before that Barack ( That's right, we are on a first name basis by email) sent me a lovely autographed postcard sized family photo with First Lady Michelle and the girls, when I requested permission from The Whitehouse to share it with CNNfans on our homepage.

So please don't do like Anderson told Steve Grove on YouTube he got a restraining order against a female fan.

As part of my audition, please allow me to give you my qualifications as winning dance partner:

I am healthy, handsome, and very fit, like a male model. My height is 5'11" and my weight is 165 lbs, and I can dance, having learned Jazz in dance school while growing up.

"Dancing With The Stars" means different things to different people. I bet to you it means "Dancing with The Viewers". Your viewers are your stars, right?

So, Nancy may I have this dance?