Monday, June 06, 2011

Quote of the Week (Obviously)

"To be clear, the picture was of me, and I sent it."

-- Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York

As someone posted on Twitter not long ago, Weiner's startlingly candid and long-winded news conference that just mercifully wrapped up was the kind of thing we usually see in movies -- not in real life.

And as somebody else posted on Twitter, Weiner saying, "I apologize to Andrew Breitbart" is going to be Breitbart's ringtone for the next couple of years. Obviously it's unfortunate to have to admit that Breitbart -- who, make no mistake, remains an unscrupulous turd -- got this one right, simply because it gives him back a shred of credibility in these kinds of matters from here on out that I'm still not sure he really deserves. My argument about Breitbart will remain that even if he hadn't received confirmation that what happened actually happened -- as well as a public confession from Weiner -- it wouldn't have stopped him from at least partially pushing the story. But for now, there's no way around the fact that Breitbart uncovered what he essentially said he uncovered. It doesn't make James O'Keefe or Shirley Sherrod go away -- but he wins this round and gets to claim vindication.

What remains, then, is whether or not the public believes that what's been admitted to is worth calling for Weiner's head. (I really can't believe I just stooped to that.) I stand by my statement last week that I don't care one bit what Anthony Weiner does in his private life and his sexual proclivities are his own. He posted pictures of his penis on Twitter? That makes him, admittedly, really stupid. He sent them to younger women? Well, who the hell would you think he'd be sending them to? He didn't break the law, though, and his being exposed as a bit of a freak doesn't also expose him as a hypocrite, considering that he's never been one of those guys professionally staking out the hyper-religious moral high ground, preaching chastity or purity or whatever-the-hell as policy or in his personal life.

For the record, I really am tired of public "sex scandals" -- particularly ones where there was nothing unlawful involved -- further diminishing our cultural discourse in this country and distracting the already easily distracted and titillated dingbats in the mainstream political press. And I can't stress intensely enough how this belief is in no way a sudden reaction to the fact that I happen to like Anthony Weiner. Yes, the occasionally sordid sexual escapades of our elected officials are a breeze to point and laugh at, but reacting with shock to the notion that somebody is capable of infidelity or enjoys, quite frankly, getting laid as often and as creatively as possible is just laughably puritanical. People fuck. It's what we do. As I've said before, practically as a career lately, we're human and human beings are inherently flawed creatures; looking for reasons as to why people in the position to cheat actually do cheat is a fool's errand. And the more power someone has, the more likely he or she is to use that power to get laid. Jesus, you think nebbishy Anthony Weiner -- who probably got his ass kicked all over his Brooklyn elementary school playground growing up -- wasn't thinking the entire time he was coming up in politics and apparently whaling on his pecs, "I'm so gonna finally get me the college pussy that was denied to me in college"? Make no mistake: If a 25-year-old is what he really wanted out of life, he probably shouldn't have gotten married and tried to settle down as a family man, and what he's now done to his wife and family is unconscionable. But to be shocked, exactly, that he let his dick get him into trouble? You're kidding me, right? Cue the cut to a caveman sitting on a rock somewhere saying, "Ugh, me know what it like, man," as a woman hits him over the head with a club while pointing at naked drawings of him on some other woman's cave wall.

By the way, my favorite tweeted response to today's Weiner newser comes from Anthony Cumia of the Opie and Anthony show:

"I love having a job where I can send dick pics with impunity."

Amen to that.

Adding: The column this is from is actually a couple of days old but leave it to Taibbi to hit Weiner's stupidity with just the appropriate amount of blunt force:

"The truth is, if you're worth the congressional office at all, your automatic answer to any question about pictures like that has to be, 'No, that can't be me in that picture, because I'm a United States Congressman and I don't take digital pictures of my hard-ons."

I don’t want to gloat too much about Weiner. Milligan is right, it’s not like the guy is a serial killer. But as the Monday Night Football crew would say, C’mon, Man! If you want to be a national political figure, run for high office, and also have a family at the same time, you can’t be playing Russian roulette with your wife’s reputation every time you log on to your basement computer.

In other words, when you’re a certain kind of famous, there are a few things you’ve just got to give up in life –- like uploading pictures of your dick, for instance, or tweet-herding hot twentysomething women by the hundreds. Is it really that hard to find other hobbies?"


Marsupialus said...

Why do they always think, Oh, not me, I won't get caught? I don't care either except that Weiner was one of those combative Democratic voices that we have so few of. He'll probabably weather this -- didn't someone point out here that Vitter bookers from the floor of the senate and he's still in office? But the sheer lunacy.

The Bacon said...

A few thoughts

1. Breitbart should just be honest. This crap about doing the world a favor by outing Weiner because he could be blackmailed is just that. I would respect him more if he just said.."I am a right wing hatchet man. Just as there are those that go after conservatives, I go after liberals."

2. A big Fuck You to Weiner (and Vittert and Ensign et al.) Keep your dick in your pants and govern. If you want to bang the guy in the next stall or send pictures of your dick to co-eds, that's fine...but re-enter private life first. Remember, you're members of congress and your behavior is a reflection of the institution and the voters that sent you there.

3. It doesn't matter the least bit to me whether the offending politician is a family values hypocrite or not. Every last one of us (except complete sociopaths) is a fucking hypocrite. Sending a picture of your dick to a coed or banging a whore is wrong for a member of congress to do regardless of how he feels about gay marriage.

There's my two cents.

Anonymous said...

It will be interesting to see Brietbart try to fan the flames on a fire that's already burned down the house. What can you say to a guy that says "I did it and fuck you if you think I'm quitting?" Given how absurd Brietbart was at this press conference, there's no way this is over for him. He thinks he's just earned his Woodward and Bernstein merit badge.

NoxiousNan said...

The problem with this entire issue, is Weiner's initial reaction. To hope that the whole "sordid" truth would not come out was colossally stupid.

His initial reaction should have been along the lines of, "that's right it's me, jealous bitches."

He broke no laws, but he mangled his credibility.

Chez said...

By the way, while I'm not gonna post it on the main page -- this is actually my favorite quote from this little saga, compliments of Radar Online:

"wow a jewish girl who sucks (bleep)! this thing is ready to do damage."

Can somebody please explain to me the Jewish girl aversion-to-head stereotype? My first wife, Abby, is Jewish and, well -- she'd love for me to blab to the world how talented and enthusiastic she was. And I'm happy to say that I can do just that without compromising my commitment to the high journalistic standards you've come to expect around here.

Steve said...

The really depressing thing is that this just kind of confirms my impression that most guys, regardless of party, that succeed in politics seem to be deeply dysfunctional human beings. At least in terms of self awareness. Not that they're alone in this among billionaires and power brokers, but still, I'd like to think that as this country faces existential threats on all sides, our elected representatives have better things to do than sexting junk shots.

All of the KOS theories that this was timed to distract from the Clarence Thomas disclosure seem so sad and naive now, given even Weiner had other things on his mind as Thomas disclosed how unethically he rolls. Ugh.

Of course, the absurd thing is this trivia can stop the presses, but take all of your legislation from lobbyists and contributors and nobody bats an eye.

VirginiaO'Possum said...

First of all, Wiener's wife is already 10 years younger than he is and gorgeous. And although I feel badly for her in this, um, when you have William Jefferson Clinton officiate at your wedding, aren't you kind of asking for a semi-permeable marriage? Chez, you've written of your feelings on infidelity, but maybe we're just being naive: Maybe there's no such thing as monogamy.

Chez said...

You're telling me this?

surfer said...

To answer your question, Chez, about the Jewish stereotype (from a Jewish girl). It's just that: a stereotype. I don't know of any girls, Jewish or not, who have an aversion to giving head.

Just like there are lots of blond jokes and Polish jokes, there are loads of Jewish ones too, and more often than not, they're not based on facts. Eh, so we laugh it off.

And honestly, for Anthony Weiner to make a comment like that about his own kind, just shows how little he's been exposed to (no pun intended).

VirginiaO'Possum said...

Yeah, well, you know...

L. said...

I'm hardly going to be an apologist for all of the shitty things that politicians do, but don't we have more important things to worry about with respect to the country than a Congressman being a skeevy little perv? (And come on, admit it, he totally looks the part.)

Is he a douche? Yes. Though honestly, aren't most of them on both sides of the aisle? We elevate them to the point that they think they can do whatever they want and then we wonder why they act like they can.

Of course I'm a godless heathen slattern, so I probably am not the appropriate voice of reason here.

Michael J. West said...

As Stern put it this morning, show me a man in the world who wouldn't be thrilled to have a younger woman ask to see his schlong. And when younger woman ask us to do things that we're thrilled to be asked to do, we tend to get stupid and do them.

Of course Stern also pointed out that "I can't say for sure if that's my penis in the photo" is such a ridiculous statement that it instantly answers its own question.

Bill Orvis White said...

This Socialist-Democrat is like all of them: vile, filthy, disgusting and most of all, secular. Folk like “Mr.” Weiner don’t follow any code in life so they turn to Tweeting their body parts out on the Internets for acceptance and salvation. The ONLY way to gain acceptance and salvation is to find it in your house of worship. This man is Hebrew and he obviously abandoned his core beliefs. My suggestion: resign and join his friend John-John Edwards in the Politics Hall of Shame. Now, I have this here mobile phone camera and I plan to snap off a photo of my privates to Miss Loni Anderson because doing this gives me lust in my pants. I just know that the site of my privates turns her on.

Dan said...

I say this in no way to excuse what Weiner did...but it's interesting that this "scandal" erupted just a day after the financial details re: Clarence Thomas' wife/Liberty Central were released,something Weiner had been pressing him to do. I've seen this mentioned in a few places, but not nearly enough. The fact that Breitbart has his stink on this? Find it hard to believe it's just coincidence...

kanye said...

The "Jewish girls/no head" thing comes as real surprise to me.

I'm thinking back--early/mid '80s--to my late-teen years and it was exactly the opposite: Jewish girls protected their hymens like the Spartans at Thermopylae, but they'd blow you at the drop of a hat. And it didn't have to much of a hat, either.

It was a great time to be that "Kinda young, kinda wow!" gentile boy who she just knew her parents would hate.

namron said...

The world teeters near the financial abyss of a USA default, the President and Congress are playing chicken with the rest of the twenty-first century, and every fucking one of the network morning news shows leads with a live Breitbart interview. I swear, Russians got a better deal from Pravda than we get from our press and media.

Trixi said...

"I don't know of any girls, Jewish or not, who have an aversion to giving head."

Hahahahahaha! Surfer, you lucky (I presume to be) man, you!

Women never fake orgasm, either. Trust me.