Monday, June 06, 2011

Piper Leery

Okay, fine -- so one more Palin thing (because, dammit, this really is too easy). As Oliver Willis rightly says, this is the creepiest thing you'll see on the internet today.

It's an essay from the amusingly misnomered conservative website "The American Thinker" in which the author "channels" Piper Palin, basically writing from her perspective:

"I’ve met a lot of nice people who really like my mom. They thank her for not being afraid to defend real, American values. Maybe that’s what the media can’t figure out — why so many people believe in my mom when the super-smart media tells them not to. It’s kind of like my 4th grade class elections. My friend Sally was running, but a group of really mean girls made up lies about her because they wanted their friend elected, and then everyone turned on Sally. I don’t think people even believed the lies, but they were scared those girls might say things about them, or make fun of them, so they just went along with it. Well, also Sally promised free ice cream to everyone in the lunchroom.

My mom isn’t so much bothered by what people think she is, especially the media. That’s why she’s not afraid to go to places like the East Coast, where probably not everybody likes her. I mean President Obama won’t even go on FOX News since the Super Bowl or visit a Tea Party rally. What is he so afraid of?"

Wow. That's -- interesting.

First of all, the next person who gives me any crap about occasionally dragging Palin's kids into the strike zone gets a kick to the throat. Second, and along those lines, a standing ovation to the first person who please, please, please writes a piece "channeling" Trig Palin.


namron said...

I am fighting the urge to respond as Trig. I still somewhat fear the pain of Hell!

VOTAR said...

I accept your challenge, sir.

The Bacon said...

Please stop with the Sarah Palin stuff.

Here is something I find odd...and maybe it's just because of my choice of media...but if it weren't for you and the Huffington Post, I swear I would almost never see her.

So in a way, I blame you and Zsa Zsa for nearly all of the times that I read about that woman.

I come here because I find you interesting....but I think there is no further "Sarah Palin is a dipshit" angle that sheds any new light on the subject.

Please Stop. Post some more cool tunes...or shed some light on the news business...or talk about anything other than this woman.

Chez said...

As always I thank you for your readership, Bacon. And as always, I remind you what you're paying for the "cool tunes," insight on the "news business" and occasional shots at Sarah Palin: not a damn thing. In other words, Palin is definitely old news and there generally isn't much fun to be had making fun of the mentally handicapped (Sarah Palin, not her son, incidentally) but every once in a while -- actually, it is kind of fun. I spent months and months completely ignoring her; a sudden spurt of amusing Palinisms shouldn't be a big deal.

L. said...

'What are you doing here?' - Chris Hansen to the author of that piece while they were composing it

VOTAR said...

An essay by Trig Palin:

Developmentally disabled kids is a serious issue nothing to make fun about. You think all that disagree with you are a bunch of silly morons thats sad your bugger than that. but im sure from what i saw above plus the beer u drink your eductated enough to put together Every group has its whack jobs and cooks. I believe most people who dont believe in any God would be the first to tell you there are little aliens watching us from up above. God does not need a wand sounds to me like your describing Santa Claus or someone from Harry Potter. By the way 92% of Americans believe in God or a God ,85% believe in a Heaven, and 82 % believe in miracles.I guess that magic wand works on majority of Americans. Sounds like a greta book I havent seen any iquisitians lately in this country. religion is not based on facts and proof If it was there would be no need for it that purpose their purpose is as im sure some people dislike very simply to kill things and blow shit up. I read the rapture and you can rest well nowhere does it state that an evangelical President is going to nuke anyone. get help fast because its ass clowns like you that only value there own opinions as facts and have no patience for others blowing them off like nutbags that keeps this country divided. The Rapture is nowhere in the Bible in fact it states when the end comes it will be like silence in the night. just like in instances when priest molest kids. it's history look it up might not like what you seep.

Now I have really gone crosseyed !!!!

You know what you look like news anchorman. Are you on TV thats a pretty cool name ."James Earl Jones" one of the greats! You do look like an anchorman though who knows maybe youll be the next Ron Burgundy. By the way Kravitz rocks ive seen him three times icluding back in the days when he had the dreads and that hot drummer with the 70s fro! His mother was awesome on the Jeffersons Great show.

i admit it i love bannanas.

Chez said...

Best. Inside. Joke. Ever.

J. Dack said...

Speaking of, I found this hilarious:

Chez said...

Yeah, I saw that, J. I'm sure I'll mention something about it later.

B8ovin said...

Bacon said, "if it weren't for you and the Huffington Post, I swear I would almost never see her."

Huh. Recently Donald Trump abused the common sense of the Journalistic Class by using a possible presidential candidacy for publicity. Immediately after falling for that scam they fall for the same thing with Sarah Palin. Maybe it's the bus, or maybe they're a bunch of ratings whores who don't have an ethical understanding of the word, "journalism". But the more people who understand and express the idea that Sarah Palin is an idiot using the Journalistic Class for brand recognition the better, I say.

The Bacon said...

You're right Chez.

You're the best value in the blogosphere.

I'd gladly pay double!

Benjy Compson said...

i used to be everybody's favorite and now no one even will even take my calls what am i chopped liver i hate you trig palni.


Anonymous said...

I liked AwkwardSilence's comment over at the link: File this under "How can we put this in terms our audience will understand?"

Chez said...

That is good.

Norm said...

Yes, Chez, you're right - we conservatives are incapable of thinking.

Very insightful. You're really setting the bar high for your writing.

Chez said...

I love how you zero in on two words, Norm. Is the irony of a site calling itself "The American Thinker" publishing a piece from the point-of-view of a fourth grader even worth pointing out?

Nope. Guess not.

Thomas B said...

Sarah Palin and Piper in the bus.

Trig's forced into trailing behind in the short one.