Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Thinking Outside the Inbox
Yet another entry in our ongoing series which brings just some of the PR-firm junk e-mail I regularly get to you, the readers.
Tila Tequila has been all over the map, from reality TV star to singer/rapper to making headlines for her sexual preferences. Now the controversial celeb opens up to her “army” of fans across the world as she partakes in a live video chat with host Diana XXXXXXX on XXXXXXX.com.
On retiring the name “Tila Tequila”: “I don’t like Tequila. I mean I don’t like Tila Tequila. I’ve been trying to get rid of that for a long time... I don’t mind when people call me Tila Tequila because it’s like really catchy, they’ve known me by that for a long time. But my real fans know it’s Miss Tila.”
On dating girls and guys: “I’m kind of seeing someone right now, this girl. So usually in a girl relationship, I’m usually the more dominant one. I usually go for the very fem type. We call it fem, but I don’t really like using that “lipstick lesbian” term. We call it “fem” or “stud” instead of “dyke”. I feel like one of the guys, like one of the boys. It’s very easy to bond with them. Because guys, they can be predictable and you know, all they wanna do is have sex and like ok, great. And sometimes you want to find something more meaningful than that so that’s when I go back to the girls.”
On Monogamy: “I hate that stigmatism that comes with when people say your bi-sexual, automatically people think you’re promiscuous just because you’re bi-sexual. I don’t have [open relationships]. If I like somebody, if I really like somebody and we’re together, I do not, I don’t do that. But if we’re just having a good time and we both know that we’re just having a good time, then sure do whatever you want, I don’t care.”
For more on her current relationship, how she treats guys and girls differently and life in the south, please visit: XXXXXXX -- Tila Tequila.
And now, my response:
Thanks so much for contacting me with this exciting opportunity; I realize it's rare that, as a heterosexual man between the ages of 13 and 75, I would be in a position to have Tila Tequila attempt to sexually arouse me in the name of desperately breathing life into her struggling brand as well as adding a few more precious seconds to her 15 minutes (which, according to my watch ran out about a year-and-a-half ago).
As it turns out, though, we may actually be able to help each other. I'm doing some new media PR myself these days and one of my clients just happens to be chlamydia. I believe chlamydia has gotten a bad rap over the years and I've been hired to try to rehabilitate the image of this misunderstood disease. Along those lines, I think Tila would be the perfect face of the "new" chlamydia. Think of the possibilities: Tila and chlamydia -- they're a natural combination.
Please give my idea some thought and I promise that if I run out of every single other thing on the planet to put on my website -- and I learn that you've taken my family hostage -- I'll consider promoting your Tila Tequila interview.
Oh, by the way, please tell your client that there's no such word as "stigmatism." There's a stigma, and astigmatism -- which is a condition affecting the eyes, much like Tila herself -- but no "stigmatism."
Chez : )