Our look back at the best DXM pieces dealing with religion over the last five years continues with this little gem from late 2007, during the early days of the 2008 presidential race. It seems especially relevant right now given that the Romneytron is likely once again running for president -- and The Book of Mormon just got nominated for a whole bunch of Tonys.
The DXM Fifth Birthday Jubilee
Number of Posts: 9
"The Sectarian Candidate" (Originally Published, 12.6.07)
***FROM THE CAMPAIGN TO ELECT MITT ROMNEY: NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE***
What follows is the initial draft of today's (12/6/07) scheduled speech by Mitt Romney, Republican candidate for President of the United States. The purpose of the address will be to allow Mr. Romney the opportunity to explain his Mormon faith to America, in the hope of creating a better understanding and acceptance of the faith's spiritual tenets and practices. The corrections, as well as the notes and instructions in boldface, have been written by Mr. Romney himself except where noted.
My fellow Americans,
I come to you today, not simply as a proud citizen of this country, nor merely as a candidate for President of the United States, but as a man of faith.
There's been some concern over the past few months about my religious beliefs, specifically, questions in regard to the Mormon faith itself. Many Americans want to know what it is, what it stands for, who is behind it,
I'm here to tell you that you have nothing to fear -- that the Church of Latter Day Saints has a plan for your life,
Prophet, Seer and Revelator Smith was the sole vessel for the most recent Testament of Jesus Christ, as told to him by several "angelic beings," including the resurrected prophet known as "Moroni."
The faith the Prophet founded was special, like no other
Along the way, the Prophet was visited by many more visions -- even Jesus stopped by the see him, at one point presenting him with the "New Covenant" (what became known as "The Principle"). This dictated that polygamy was not only condoned, but demanded by God. (Look stern)
As it grew, Mormonism became the church of inclusion and equality,
It also is and always has been a religion of peace
(***Note from Campaign "Technician": Please be aware that Romney-VI will need to be plugged into the charger for at least an extra 20 minutes to remain animated for this length of time.***)
As I stand before you to ask you to elect me to the highest office in the land, I want to reassure you about the warm relationship the Church of Latter Day Saints has always shared with the United States government -- which I hope to be the leader of in the near future. Mormons have always had the utmost respect for the United States
And about faith in general, I must say this...
"There are some who may feel that religion is not a matter to be seriously considered in the context of the weighty threats that face us. If so, they are at odds with the nation's founders, for they, when our nation faced its greatest peril, sought the blessings of the Creator. And further, they discovered the essential connection between the survival of a free land and the protection of religious freedom. In John Adam's words: 'We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion... Our constitution was made for a moral and religious people."** (I like this. Gotta keep it. It'll piss off the bloggers.)
"We separate church and state affairs in this country, and for good reason. No religion should dictate to the state nor should the state interfere with the free practice of religion. But in recent years, the notion of the separation of church and state has been taken by some well beyond its original meaning. They seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God. Religion is seen as merely a private affair with no place in public life. It is as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America – the religion of secularism. They are wrong."** (This is great. It'll show those God-haters who believe in all that science. Remember to keep this in.)
To sum up today ladies and gentlemen, let me make one final point about my particular faith -- and it is one which simply cannot be argued with.
The beliefs of Mormons are no more curious...
No more outlandish...
And no more preposterous...
Than than the beliefs of any other faith.
Thank you, and God Bless America.
(**Actual excerpts from Romney's prepared address. By the way, to learn every dirty little secret about the real history of the Church of Latter Day Saints, and its extremist spinter cell, the FLDS, I highly recommend reading Jon Krakauer's excellent 2003 book, Under the Banner of Heaven.)