Thursday, May 19, 2011

Countdown To Rapture: 2 Days


Another friendly reminder to be outside and packed at 6PM on Saturday -- just two days from now. Of course, I say this as if anyone who reads this site stands even the slightest chance of being whisked away to heaven during the coming Rapture.

Still, if you happen to think you're worthy enough -- like maybe if you read DXM only to prove to yourself how depraved and deserving of God's wrath society has become -- you'll want to make sure you're in a wide open space as the Rapture begins, since you don't want to smash your head against the ceiling on your way up. A good rule of thumb: Definitely don't be on the bottom floor of a skyscraper; that'll hurt like hell. Get it? Hell? Just a little more Judgment Day humor for you there.

As for the rest of us -- get ready to party like you've got nothing to lose. Because you won't have anything to lose.

By the way, does anybody know what Mike Huckabee's schedule looks like for next week? I'll bet it's full -- and as far as I know he's a firm believer in the coming End Times. Could it be that he doesn't think his life as he knows it will end on Saturday?

Nah, can't be.

See you all in hell, everyone.

10 comments:

Tabi said...

Careful, now. Even the CDC is Tweeting about the Zombie Apocalypse.

Benoit from Ottawa said...

There are going to be a lot of red-faced righteous people, this Sunday.





*Okay, some people will die. That's one way of "getting to heaven".

celery said...

i was a committed atheist until yesterday, when i heard kirk cameron explain why stephen hawking is "unscientific".

now i'm afraid to be left behind.

celery said...

very very timely:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_AtM7f0774

hilz said...

They're showing "The Shining" at Hollywood Forever Cemetery that night. How convenient!

Tara van Brederode said...

My husband is a devout Christian and former rock DJ (I am neither). He's put together an end of the world playlist, which reassured me, as I would really like to have him around next week. http://gprr.blogspot.com/2011/05/playlist-for-apocalypse.html

Jubilant Echo was here said...

I'm looking forward to Judgment Day, because in post Judgement Day Earth we will finally be free of the craziness and nonsense that is any and every religion.

Jubilant Echo was here said...

Just an FYI. For all you concerned out there about what do you with your pets when Jesus swoops down taking you true believers to heaven while leaving the rest of here to....rejoice and live happily ever after, there are services available.

http://news.discovery.com/human/atheists-pets-rapture-judgement-day-110519.html#mkcpgn=rssnws1

Chugga said...

I'm in Australia, do we get the rapture a day early or what? How are timezones factored in?

Mary said...

This is really crossing over to the absurd. My local (NYC area) ABC station weatherman just tweeted the following:

Evansweather If there is Armageddon on Saturday May 21st, we will have "live" team coverage on WABC-TV Eyewitness News!