Friday, May 20, 2011

Countdown To Rapture: 1 Day


So, the clock has just about wound down.

By this time tomorrow, a good portion of the world will already be in flames, the Lord moving over the face of the Earth one hour at a time (because apparently he pays attention to man-made constructs like time zones).

For those keeping track, by about 4AM EST, Sydney, Australia will already be reduced to ruin -- even more so than when Oprah unleashed the awesome might of her personal zombie apocalypse there a few months back. From there, it's all downhill for the rest of us.

I don't know what to tell anyone at this point. Be with your families; I know I will. Pray for redemption and deliverance. Throw yourself on the mercy of God -- you know, the same merciful, loving God who's about to crush mankind like a bug.

Jesus returns tomorrow, everyone! Today really is the last day of the rest of your life.

By the way, if you're looking for a way to kill a few hours while you wait for your time zone to get hit, might I suggest gathering the wife and kids around the old Philco and watching this a few times:



(Clip h/t Christian Nightmares)

5 comments:

Narbe said...

Now I know what happened to Gary Busey.

Tom said...

Here I am in New Zealand, it's 1am on May the 21st.

I have a brainteaser for you: You wake up in the morning to discover that Sarah Palin has ascended to Heaven. Does that mean it's the Rapture? Or Christmas?

Matt Osborne said...

By the way, Chez -- just to be clear, Mr. Camping says that nobody gets their money back if they fail to rise to Heaven on His noodly appendage.

Anonymous said...

wow! i didn't know gary busey made such good movies!

Chez said...

I love that opening line, "An ancient evil arises!" while they're showing Gary Busey.