"You have to ask, 'Why are you taking care of Alabama and other states?' I know our letter didn't get lost in the mail."
-- Texas Governor Rick Perry, yesterday, complaining about President Obama's trip to tornado-ravaged Alabama and demanding to know why he and the federal government supposedly haven't responded to his request for more federal help for Texas, where wildfires have destroyed nearly two million acres
"I have determined that this incident is of such severity and magnitude that effective response is beyond the capabilities of the state."
-- Texas Governor Rick Perry, on April 16th, in the aforementioned letter to the federal government
"We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot."
-- Texas Governor Rick Perry, in April of 2009, implying that Texas may be willing to consider seceding from the union
I swear, sometimes this is just too easy.
Incidentally, FEMA has already authorized almost two-dozen emergency declarations in the wake of the Texas fires.
Oh, and state lawmakers recently proposed cutting $34 million out of the budget of the Texas Forest Service; most of those cuts would apparently affect training and equipment grants for volunteer firefighting crews.
The above picture by the way? That's Rick Perry literally asking for God's help during an officially declared three day period in which Texans were urged to "pray for rain." So far, it should be noted, God also isn't returning Perry's calls.