Monday, April 25, 2011

Match Lame

A few days ago I put up a quickie post that implied that Donald Trump and Fox News are perfect for each other, if for no other reason than the fact that they respond to their critics in exactly the same way. Each one, when faced with negative publicity, lashes out like a petulant child in the direction of the perceived attack -- like some little asshole bully on a playground whose skin is paper thin and whose only defense against criticism is to hurl vitriolic insults in a quest for revenge. Well, just for the hell of it I thought I'd compile a few examples to show you what I'm talking about. As I started looking back through these, I noticed how truly alike these two are when it comes to their attitude toward those who dare to publicly take issue with them.

See for yourself.

Trump To Jerry Seinfeld (who recently backed out of a charity event hosted by Trump's son):

"I agreed to do, and did, your failed show, 'The Marriage Ref,' even though I thought it was absolutely terrible . . . Despite its poor ratings, I didn't cancel on you like you canceled on my son and St. Jude. I only wish I did."

Fox News on Sarah Silverman (after she called the network a "24 hour-a-day engine of implied racism"):

"Sarah's anger is understandable having recently lost her television show. We sympathize with her need for attention considering her book is languishing near 300 on"

Trump To Vanity Fair Writer Juli Weiner (who penned a blog post implying that Trump isn't serious about running for president)

"Bad Writer!"

Fox News on Charlie Reina (a former Fox employee who left the network after accusing it of imposing a right-wing bias)

"These false accusations are the rantings of a bitter employee. It's unfortunate that his career ended the way it did."

Trump To Director Mike Tollin (who helmed the upcoming ESPN documentary Who Killed the USFL):

"(It's) a third rate documentary... you are a loser."

Fox News on Paula Zahn (who left the network for CNN):

"Paula Zahn's supposed attempt at reinventing herself as a journalist is like putting a fresh coat of paint on an outhouse."

None of this includes Trump's viciously juvenile war of words with Rosie O'Donnell (he called her a "fat slob") or Fox's slams at its direct competition (it said about Ted Turner, "Ted is understandably bitter, having lost his ratings, his network, and now his mind"). It also doesn't even get into the fact that many of Trump's and Fox's attacks end with the condescending, mock-genteel bon mot, "We/I wish him/her/them well."

Really -- perfect for each other.

(Update: I knew this was coming, and of course here it is. One more to add: A couple of days ago during an interview at the Tribeca Film Festival, Robert DeNiro took at shot at Donald Trump, so of course because Trump's a fucking 12-year-old he couldn't let that stand. His response this morning on -- wait for it -- Fox and Friends: "Well he’s not the brightest bulb on the planet. I’ve been watching him over the years and I like his acting, but you know in terms of when I watch him doing interviews and various other things, we’re not dealing with Albert Einstein." Yeah -- insulting Robert Fucking DeNiro. Unreal. I'd really love to think that there's someone out there who could verbally body slam Trump's ridiculous ass who was also so high up the cultural food chain that Trump couldn't in a million years hit back at him without looking like even more of a boob than he already does, but his ego is so monumental that I'm pretty sure that's impossible. This is a guy who has no compunction about calling the current President of the United States a joke and a fraud who wasn't born in this country and who shouldn't have been allowed into the Ivy League system. "I heard he was a terrible student, terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then to Harvard? I'm certainly looking into it. Let him show his records," he says. As usual, Trump offers no proof for any of his claims -- just more of the usual indiscriminate bluster. Douche.)


Steve said...

If there's one thing I appreciate about Cirque du Trump, it's imagining @SarahPalinUSA slowly realizing she's been out-crazied.

And I'm starting to think that he could actually get the nomination. There's a reason they're called "low information voters" after all.

Jeremy Feist said...

In all fairness, all those quotes make a lot more sense when you read them out in a super-queeny Paul Lynde voice. "Oh, listen to her!"

Anonymous said...

Trump = currently Winning!

We are being played by a master showman.

Izar Talon said...

Oh God,now where going to have wingnuts coming out of the woodwork saying that Obama was a terrible student. And if we ask them why he was a terrible student, or to show us proof that he was a terrible student? They'll get flustered and say that they don't have the proof with them, but they just "know" he is.

"I take it on FAITH that Obama was a bad student when he was little, and that he is now a socialist, a Marxist, a Nazi, a Muslim, an Atheist, a Kenyan, and a bad president, and since it's a matter of FAITH that means I don't NEED proof, and if you try to say otherwise you will be violating my Constitutional right to express my religion!"


"Faith is BETTER than science because faith doesn't NEED proof for it to be true!"

Benoit from Ottawa said...

Anonymous, I disagree a little: a master showman is not obvious, but clever.

Trump is obvious; despite the careful hair, he's naked up on stage.

And that's okay. With all his bitchy barbs, he makes Obama look even more statesmanlike and presidential, and may well help get him re-elected.

Eric said...

I'd really love to think that there's someone out there who could verbally body slam Trump's ridiculous ass who was also so high up the cultural food chain that Trump couldn't in a million years hit back at him without looking like even more of a boob than he already does....

Ah, but see, this is the thing: part of the reason your hope is in vain isn't just his monumental ego, but also the fact that there's no way the man could look like a bigger boob than he already does. This is Trump's version of Teflon: a substantial chunk of the general public knows he's a boob. The people who put him on TV do so, I suspect, because they know he's a boob (whose boobishness generates ratings). People who have invested in his projects over the years know he's a boob, but Trump was kind of the inventor of "too big to fail."

The only people who don't know Donald Trump is a boob are the people pushing his presidential numbers and, possibly, The Donald himself. Which brings us to the rub: it's not particularly surprising that the people who are saying they'd vote for Trump are people who are also Birthers and what-not, because these are people who are oblivious to the obvious and who generally respond to mountains of evidence contrary to their prejudices by digging in their heels against the snobs, elites and intellectuals. Any thinking person of whatever political persuasion recognizes that boobishness is The Donald's foremost quality; non-thinking people wouldn't recognize The Donald's boobishness if it was run through a Krell thought-machine and turned into a Monster From The Boob, a Creature Of Pure Boob that stomped all over them and could only be defeated by Leslie Nielsen and Robbie The Robot.

In short: The Donald's supporters are, themselves, boobs.

Dr. Squid said...

Warren Buffett's pretty far up that food chain, but Buffett would just ignore the bald fool.

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to think there's some sort of conspiracy set up wherein he's pulling out the batshit so that when Sarah Palin announces she's running, we'll all be comparatively relieved.