Friday, April 29, 2011
The King and Ire
I'll make this really quick.
I obviously don't have much to say about today's silly spectacle across the pond; aside from the fact that Kate Middleton is just disturbingly hot (see left), it's not something that affects my life or would keep me sufficiently entertained one way or the other.
But there have been a couple of humorous royal-related comments that Votar and I tossed around this morning.
First of all, William and Kate are now going to be known as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. What's interesting about this is that the titles apparently have no real meaning; they're just something Queen Elizabeth gets to pull out of thin air at her discretion.
Which got us thinking how great it would be if the Queen finally succumbed to senility or just decided to fuck with everybody and dubbed these two, "Lord Baron Von Jizzington Shitsack and Her Supreme Bad-Ass, Princess White Cleopatra Jones," or maybe just "Lord Humongous and Lady Die."
And that of course reminded us of this:
Also, remember when it looked like William was gonna be the "cool" prince and Harry would turn out to be the weenie. Man were those preconceptions backward. William is, to use the appropriate lingo, barely above a poof while Harry behaves like a kid who knows he's a fucking prince but who also knows he'll never be king. He's gone to raves, banged girls two at a time, he dressed like Hitler for Christ's sake (if that doesn't scream, "Go ahead, get pissed, I dare you," nothing does), and when he decided, "You know what? I want to kill people," he joined the Royal Military. What has he got to lose?
If he did just go off one night and shoot a hooker in the face or something, just because he could, what would happen? Does the Royal Family have somebody on speed dial who's the equivalent of the Wolf from Pulp Fiction?
"Okay, you've got a commoner, minus a head in the boot of an Aston Martin -- take me to it."
As you can tell, we're showing the monarchy the respect it deserves.