Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Elegy


Obituary

Chez and Jayne Pazienza were pronounced dead this morning by a court in Queens County, New York following a lengthy and often heartbreaking battle with each other. Their marriage was just a few days short of seven years old. After meeting in February of 2002, at the famed CBGB in New York City just five months after the attacks of 9/11, Jayne and Chez began what each believed was the kind of romance for which many spent a lifetime looking. They loved powerfully, passionately and wholeheartedly, as each other's best friend, partner and avowed soulmate. They were married officially in a courtroom in Atlanta, Georgia on April 14th, 2004 but their wedding -- officiated by a beloved mutual friend -- took place at Shakespeare Garden in Central Park three days later, on April 17th. In spite of the sometimes tumultuous years that followed, including unfortunate and well-documented events and acts which left their marriage beaten to the point of being on life-support, Jayne still professed to love and care for Chez, and vice-versa. But in the end, the damage was simply too much for their once-storybook love affair to survive.

They are survived by their beautiful daughter, Inara.

In lieu of flowers, the couple has asked that you hold the person you say you love tightly tonight, and not forget how that feels. Ever.

Chez & Jayne Pazienza

April 17th, 2004 - April 12th, 2011

"And So It Goes"

21 comments:

Leigh C. said...

Sincere condolences on this melancholy end in your life...but there will be a new beginning.

trish said...

A moment of silence.

D.R. said...

Condolences, and (if I may be so bold) blessings to you today. Your bald honesty in this blog and your book has made you a place in my heart, and though we'll never meet I mourn for and with you now.

As a three-time-loser in the marriage game myself, I can wholeheartedly relate to your feelings of hopelessness. I can also tell you this from a life experience that includes more trauma and horror than most: when you're ready to hope again it will be there for you.

NoxiousNan said...

RIP

Dan said...

Closing that book leaves the table open for a new book that you and Inara can share.

Melissa said...

heartbreaking post ... condolences to you, chez.

and what others said, too: there will be new beginnings.

ntx said...

Been there, done that, don't want to ever do it again. Sorry Chez.

ben said...

condolences....

Eric said...

My sympathies and best hopes to you, Chez.

Le Penseur said...

I'll put a couple in the air for you bro. Be well.

The Bacon said...

Best Wishes my friend.

Lucien said...

I'm sorry for both of you. The stress both of you are in now will pass...just not sure of the sorrow.
best to both of you.

lucien

Sarah said...

All of the love you once had for Jayne can now be focused on that adorable little one of yours. I hope Inara grows into a person as passionate as you are. Good luck.

Christine said...

Fiona Apple's Love Ridden came on shuffle and I thought of you ... and sometimes there's nothing more to be said.

Anonymous said...

Obviously this is official. As one who is going through it myself, your separation seemed very long. I know that it's filled with a mixed bag of emotions and of course, financial nightmares throughout, but how do you feel now? Relief? Melancholy? Pain? Regrets? All the f-ing above? I know, folks from every corner weigh in with their own opinions: "split up!" "don't split up!" "care for the little one,"make time for yourself," "go on match.com," "go to Tahiti," etc....
Man this is rough..... There are no answers and you wish to Hell that there were. Why can't there be solid answers? Yes, the answer is that there are no answers. Why the f*ck is the sky blue? I can't tell the child that. Why is Donald Trump a big fat veiny conceited penis? Sorry, no answer there either......

Denesteak said...

I thought of Jeremy Piven's obituary for John Cusack in Serendipity when I read this. Anyway, good luck.

Heather said...

Much love to you, sir.

CNNfan said...

Maybe you should take your own advice, "Some things should stay dead."

mercer said...

You write like one bad ass motherfucker! I love it!

Sean said...

Feel for ya dude... Went through the same thing a few years ago. You've had a million people say it already but I'll say it again; it gets better. The pain goes away... eventually.

Anonymous said...

From one courtoom to another....

Sorry Chez, you both seem like beautiful people who ended up with a gorgeous child.

Tom Mullen
(www.rottweilertom.blogspot.com)