Sunday, April 24, 2011

Anne Boilin'

Last night, in keeping with Easter weekend tradition, I set aside five-and-a-half hours and watched ABC's showing of the most epic B-movie ever made: Cecil B. DeMille's The Ten Commandments.

Even after all these years, the terrible dialog, the overacting, the non-Jews playing Jews, HESTON! -- it's all just overwhelmingly awesome.

But as I've said here once before, nothing -- and I mean nothing -- gives me more reason to watch each year than the chance to bite my fist with unquenchable lust every time Anne Baxter appears on-screen as Nefretiri. She was seriously raw sex personified in that role, and my early boyhood crush on her likely set the stage for a 30-some-odd-year addiction to vengeful, duplicitous, treacherous, cuckolding -- but smokin' hot -- women.

Here's to you, my queen.


firedmyass said...

oh hell yes. from my earliest memory, her clenched-teeth delivery of "oh, Moszhezzzzz..." just straight-up touches me in a bathing suit area.

Doc said...

This gay boy *still* loves to watch thge lean muscle and hairy chest of Heston versus the smooth cocoa skin muscled pecs of Yul Brenner. Oh, Ramses! And even as an atheist I love watching it for the men and the over the top camp acting. After they leave the glam of egypt, I loose interest.

And Edward G. Robinson? Vincent Price? You don't get casting like that anymore. lol

JOSEPH said...

My fave crush since I was about 9 was Debra Paget. She was never lovelier than in this film. Those lips, those casabas, those eyes. I have plenty of stills in a hallway at home. I'm 64 now and she is 77.

Anonymous said...

My first "what's going on down there" moments arrived courtesy Natasha, from Rocky & Bullwinkle. Look, I was a little kid, getting excited by a cartoon charecter was in keeping with my world view at the time.
And to this day Russian accents move me....

SteveR said...

What kind of a fool was Moses?
a) stubborn
b) splendid
c) adorable
d) all of the above

Anonymous said...

Isn't it NEFERTITI? And what the hell is she doing in Berlin?

namron said...

Hold on there, Chez. No Jews in the film? Check out Vincent Price and Edward G. Robinson. I think both were Jewish.

My favorite is still Mel Brooks as Moses and the "Fifteen .....errr, Ten Commandements!"

Chez said...

Actually, I was waiting for someone to say that. Yeah, Edward G. Robinson (Emanuel Goldenberg) I was aware of; don't know if Price was, although I don't think so.

Either way, most Jews in film back then changed their identities almost completely to be a part of the Hollywood/show business system (which is ironic as hell if you think about it). That trend of course continues to this day (see: Jon Stewart).

It's still funny to see so many "Hebrews" who come off as corn-fed Middle-American pin-ups in the film. One great example of it is hearing Heston completely and purposely mispronounce the name "YO-sheh-bell."

NoxiousNan said...

Small world - I had the exacts same tradition, loved it for all the same reasons, except it was Yul Brenner, and to a lesser extent, John Derek, that I lusted after.