Sunday, March 20, 2011

Ice Capped

With the untimely passing of Knut, the world's most famous polar bear, we here at Deus Ex Malcontent hope you'll join us in paying tribute to someone whose life may have been short but whose legacy of joy will remain.

Here now, a classic from the DXM archives.

"Fight Cub" (Originally Posted, 4.10.07)

By now you're probably familiar with "Knut," the adorable polar bear cub whose story has captured the attention and the imagination of the world. Born in captivity at Germany's Zoologischer Garten Berlin last December, little Knut was rejected by his mother and is now being raised by zoo-handlers. He's the first polar bear to be born within the confines of the Berlin Zoo in more than thirty years.

On March 23rd, he was presented to the public for the first time and immediately became the center of a whirlwind of non-stop media coverage. The tiny cub's popularity is unprecedented, drawing crowds to the zoo so large that they've been blamed for the death of a panda which lived in a pen adjacent to Knut's. Millions of fans worldwide have showered the polar bear with gifts, and even letters containing substantial donations to the zoo.

Despite initial outrage by some animal-rights activists who heartlessly claimed that Knut would be better off dead than facing a life of captivity, zoo-handlers continue to insist that the bear will be well provided for throughout his life, and Germany's Environmental Minister has even gone so far as to officially "adopt" the little guy; he will now be the mascot for a conference on endangered species which is scheduled to be held in Bonn in 2008.

This month, Knut appears on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine's 2007 "Green Issue," standing beside Leonardo DiCaprio; the picture was taken by legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz.

One of the most popular songs on German radio at the moment is an ode to Knut written and sung by a nine-year-old girl who goes by the name "Kitty"; it's called Knut, der Kleine Eisbar -- or, "Knut, the Little Polar Bear."

It's precious beyond words. Take a listen.

For those who don't speak German -- here's the translation:

Knut, the little polar bear!
Rise from the ashes of your mother's whorish scorn!
Take your place in the arms of the Fatherland!
The great new Reich at last is born!

Little bear you will grow strong!
Solid and staunch you will stand!
Cleansing the path with the blood of foes!
Clearing the way for the new man!

Knut! Knut!
Strong, proud Aryan bear!
Knut! Knut!
Heil, mein liber herr!

Knut, above all -- fighting bear!
Ranks of Brown Battalions brave and true!
Deutschland now is filled with hope!
Our swastikas, they rise with you!

The mongrel bear already felled!
Your courageous crowds at stead!
Flags fly over the barricades!
Those opposing will be dead!

Knut! Knut!
Strong, proud Aryan bear!
Knut! Knut!
Heil, mein liber herr!

(Repeat first verse and chorus)


Megan said...

As a resident of Canada's North, I feel I simply must point out that polar bears are not cute or cuddly. They are vicious predators that stalk and eat humans.

This generally gets lost in any discussion about the bears, although I'm pleased to see that you haven't fallen into that trap.

Chez said...

Yes. Because this was certainly a very serious dissertation on polar bears.

Megan said...

Heh, I suck and should not write blog comments before having all of my coffee, even on lazy Sunday mornings. I did not mean to sound so schoolmarmish. :)

Matt Osborne said...

There's a polar bear in our Frigidaire.

He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.

With his seat in the meat and his face in the fish,

And his big hairy paws in the buttery dish...

Roket said...

Heil Knut!!

Le Penseur said...

According to the article, there were several reports that Knut died after mating with several females. Perhaps he died due to giving out too much of his essence.

kanye said...

Alas, Knut is kno more.