Wednesday, March 23, 2011

David and Goliath

Much to the delight of anyone who loves to laugh hysterically at somebody else's utter frustration, David Thorne continues to use his scathing wit to unleash a whole truckload of misanthropy all over anyone who happens to irritate him. In his latest push for his book The Internet Is a Playground, Thorne challenges people to buy it over Justin Beiber's book -- and even puts an iPad2 on the line as a little incentive.

Also, as a service to you the consumer, he posted a few "excerpts" from Beiber's book to help you decide which to spend your money on.

"Usher rang me and was like 'Hey bro what you doing?' and I was like 'nothing bro, what you doing?' and he was like 'cutting some tracks, do you want to come over bro?' so my mum dropped me off at his house and we took ecstacy and watched the movie 'White Chicks.'"

"At 9am each day, I have a fresh puppy delivered to my hotel room and I kick it."

"I have a conjoined twin on my stomach. Identical to me in every way, except for only being eight inches tall, his name is Carl. Sometimes, I cover Carl with a hanky. Everyone needs a little time to themselves. Like when I am having a bath or watching women's tennis."

"I don't know what I would be doing if I wasn't a famous singer. I would probably be a male model. I have experience. When I was younger, I often stayed with my uncle Trevor and he would give me twenty dollars to run through the sprinkler while he took photos for his website."

"I once stabbed a prostitute to death."

David Thorne @ 27b/6


Anonymous said...

Be wary of buying his book. Yeah its probably infinitely better than Beiber's but when they had order problems and people complained about not receiving stuff they paid for he made a big drama out of it and even posted people's personal info online in retaliation for the public complaints.

The guy who writes is funnier and also has a book.

Chez said...

Yeah, there's no denying that Thorne really is a rotten prick he comes off as.

Benoit from Ottawa said...

Shit, Chez, until I reread and understood the word "excerpts" fully quotated, until that I thought: shit, Justin's got a *wicked* sense of humour. Gotta get the book.

But then I understood it is Thorne.

Which was a letdown but not disappointing, you know what I mean. Thorne is so wicked. You intro'd me to him, thanks.

P.s. off subject: anyone here not familiar with Hyperbole and a Half? Go see. Hysterical.

Kat said...

Well, damn. I can't hate on Justin Beiber now. Not when he's obviously blowing his tween gazillions on drugs and whores. UStream videos and "TigerBeatBlood" t-shirts are in our future.

Benoit from Ottawa said...

Funny from a Canada-centric p.o.v.:

Title in the ordering information: