Friday, March 04, 2011

Bush Inauguration


Yes, I'm going to link to Bree Olson's (supposed) last nude pictorial ever, taken just a couple of weeks ago. But I'm not doing it to be prurient, I swear. I'm doing it because between Sasha Grey's recent surprise and now this shoot, I think it's safe to say that the era of bare-down-there may be ending.

Discuss.

Egotastic: Bree Olson's Last Adult Photo Shoot/3.3.11

43 comments:

Benoit from Ottawa said...

Well, you know how it is, Chez, the pendulum keeps swinging back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth -- wait, that's not a pendulum!...

Steven D Skelton said...

Thank God!

Bring back the full muff. It doesn't have to be a jungle down there, but would it have been as exciting to hear Booger say "We've got bald...we've got bald?

Hell no!

Withnail said...

I gotta wonder why you thought this was a newsworthy item, Chez. I mean, who cares if women are shaving their vaginas. Their soft... hot... wet... beautiful... vaginas...

I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

VOTAR said...

Barbaric.

Hex said...

Still laughing at the title post (since there's no way I can click on that at work).

Well played, Chez.

Heather Hansma said...

Oh thank god.

I seriously have nothing more to say than that, and I feel that covers everything.

Chez said...

Well, I guess we just learned something about you, Heather.

Fred said...

I know what it is- Sheen blew his tiger blood powered Adonis load in their faces so hard that it filled the empty space between their ears. The overflow acted as fertilizer for their mounds, so for his next trick- He will re-foliate the amazon rain forest.

Le Penseur said...

I guess we're done bringing back the 80s and are now in the process of bringing back the 70s. Shag carpets for everyone!

Chez said...

Votar, dude, what the hell did you do for your entire life up until maybe eight years ago?

In the Tar Pit said...

Votar, dude, what the hell did you do for your entire life up until maybe eight years ago?

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. " David Wooderson

Chez said...

You have no idea how right you are.

kanye said...

Oops, sorry. That was me with the Dazed and Confused reference.

I can't figure out how that happened...It's been years since I last used that ID.

J. Dack said...

I'll go with the Californication quote:

"Just give me a little something that reminds me I'm performing cunnilingus on an adult."

John Foley said...

Thank the maker. A grown woman with the pubic hair of a grown woman. Will wonders never cease?

Le Penseur said...

I'll be in my bunk.

TheReaperD said...

Well that will definitely slow the increase of my porn collection!

[Note to any future employers googling this, this is humor.]

Fungi said...

Since I have done extensive research on the subject and I'm practically a doctor, here's my two cents: Sasha & Bree may have just come from a movie shoot that required a "Full Bush".

I happen to have mistakenly seen "Scooby Doo: A xXx Porn Parody". Since it takes place in the late 60's - early 70's, Daphne (Bree Olson) & Velma (Bobbi Starr) both have a "Full Bush" to make their characters more believable. I for one was completely sold.

Heather Hansma said...

Ha ha. And I notice I'm the only female that has commented so far. WINNING.

Chez said...

Ha, Greg... I fucking love how we're basically retards but when it comes to figuring out why a couple of porn stars may have pubic hair you suddenly turn into Columbo.

Fungi said...

We could be the new HARDy Boys. HAHA.

Capt Ac said...

I hope they stay shaved, because "zero bush" in porn accomplishes the same thing that Vegas slot machines paying out in receipts instead of coins accomplishes:

It keeps me from indulging.

Alanna said...

Seriously, thank God.

I'm Italian + Greek. I don't think there's enough Groupons in the world to take care of me.

Kat said...

I've been spending the afternoon thinking about what I'm going to buy with all the money I'll be saving on Brazilians, Heather. I see several pairs of Louboutins in my future. Perhaps even a set of Wusthofs.

em said...

From far away those thumbails kind of look like a porned-up Amy Sedars.

TMI (second chick to comment on this post?) I've been, uh, groomed both ways (Bree Olson vs, um, Jesse Jane?) and do guys really care? I don't think so. I do know that *THAT* position during a Brazilian is something a woman doesn't friggin' forget, though.

Sheriff Bart said...

I never got into the bare thing. When I look at a naked woman, I don't ever say, "She's beautiful, but what I really want is someone that looks like a ten year old girl."
I'm not saying go back to the 70's but for God's sake lay down a landing strip so I don't have to card you all.

Anonymous said...

Pathetic.

So you've been reduced to linking to porn in a desperate bid for readers.

Pathetic.

Garagntuan FAIL double ungood plus because you tried and failed to sneak in a Charlie Sheen reference and hoped no one would notice.

VOTAR said...

It's funny to see the gymnastics that people will go through to equate shaving with, what...pre-pubescence? There are women who like a man with a beard; there are many women who prefer a man with a smooth jaw. I haven't seen any sort of faux outrage at the notion that these women somehow yearn for "little boys."

It's not about age or even the illusion of age. It's about hygiene, and the benefits enjoyed by a woman who realizes that this is 2011, not 10,000 BC, that we are not apes swinging through the trees hoping to attract a mate with our funk, and who is thoughtful enough to save their partner from the horror of wading through a tangled mess of the day's sweat and other unmentionable residue.

You want to stay stuck in 1969, hey man, go for it. Light some patchouli and soldier on in there. I prefer an evolved woman who understands the uselessness of that patch of prehensile monkey fur.

greenveldt said...

I don't care if people wax/shave or don't, but I hope you wax votar. To prove your point you also put down others [well, women] who don't shave/wax as not evolved, that sounds just as prejudice as the guy you were having the disagreement with.

There is technically [evolution wise] a use for pubic hair. And I'm not talking about attracting a mate, as you said.

em said...

"And lastly, ladies, what’s up with the deforestation going on down there? You need hair down there. It’s a backup system for underwear. So even when you’re showing it, you’re not really showing it. There was a time when a lady garden was as big as a slice of New York pizza. Then it turned into an upside down John Waters moustache. Now, every girl is as smooth as Joey Lawrence’s head. Global warming? You decide." - Amy Poehler

brite said...

My motto regarding pubic grooming has always been:
"I'll shave/wax, deal with the ingrown hairs and the rashes if my partner will."
Most men become less insistent about the 'porn look' when it's their turn to apply a razor to their balls.

Anonymous said...

I believe that "Boardwalk Empire" had more than a little to do with the return to the bush. Or, at least, I'm pretty sure that's what led my old man to request a return to the, uh, natural state of things. Guys.... sheesh!

Fungi said...

It's spring now. The "Winter Bush" can go away till next year.

Tania said...

Votar, why not just say that you, personally, prefer shaved women? You don't have to go calling women who don't shave unevolved and smelly. That's just crass.

Chez said...

Oh, Tania -- the Pandora's Box you just opened.

Zing! See what I did there?

kanye said...

I agree with Tania, that's just crass.

And gymnastics? C'mon, Votar, it's the current meme; the joke of the day. Nobody even has to think about it. No gymnastics required.

And it's not about hygiene, either. A quick shower and dollop of Head & Shoulders takes care of that. If it was about hygiene, you'd eschew all body hair. That may be the case, but I can't imagine Chez being able to keep it a secret that, "Votar only dates Total Body Smoothies." And if it was about hygiene, you certainly wouldn't have a cat running around your place, shitting and pissing in a box of gravel, ralphing his way from one room to another.

No, if I were to take a guess...and mind you, that's just what this is; a blind, wild internet guess...I'd guess that you have a type. A very specific type: Olive-skinned, dark-haired, dark-eyed; that you tend be attracted to Italian, or Mediterranean or Jewish women. Probably some Latina women as well.

And if I'm right, well it all kind of just falls into place, doesn't it?

Women from these ethnic groups, their hair tends to grow-in coarse and stiff, rapidly and in abundance. Naturally, those traits transfer to the nether regions.

It's very much like sticking your face into a pile of pick-up sticks, or a bird's nest. You go in for a mango and you come out screaming something about a fucking tiger. And sometimes, it can even be curled and kinked. Then it's like grabbing a handful of uncooked rotini or...pettin' a Puli.

No, I don't think that it's about hygiene, Votar. I think maybe you've limited your sample size a bit too much; that you need to broaden your horizons a bit.

Find yourself a German or a Polish or an Irish woman. Even some English women have it. I'm talking hair, btw...a certain kind of hair: It's wispy and fine, soft and silky. It's not hard to figure out if a woman has this kind of hair. When you're chattin' her up, tell her that she has beautiful hair. If she says something like, “Oh god, I hate my hair. It doesn't have any body, it won't hold a curl. I can't do a thing with it,” your in the right neighborhood.

Women who have hair like that...it's like resting your chin on velvet; like burying your nose in a fold of the finest mohair. Truly a pleasure to go 'num-num-num' on.

Anonymous said...

I prefer to wax personally. I don't like the feel of a lot of hair down there myself. And shaving is all bad with ingrown hairs and the itchiness. And I like to trim it every few days anyway so just waxing it all once a month is the easiest for me. It does mean that I have some hair at the end of the month and none at the beginning so maybe its the best of both worlds? I don't know but I do it for myself, even if I'm not dating anyone.

Fungi said...

I can't believe I didn't think of this till now, but I recorded vocals last week for song on this exact subject matter, "Shave That Pig". Sure to be hit!!!

Anonymous said...

I think its kind of gross the whole idea about shaving or waxing down there... I mean do you really want to have sex with a woman that looks like an 8 year old girl down there?

Tania said...

Chez,
eh, maybe... That kind of shit annoys me though, and I had an ingrowing pube irritating me, so I thought, what the hell...

Yes, I saw what you did there. I decided to charitably ignore it, in case you were just tired or something. ;-)

@Kanye - high five!

Chez said...

Well, I'm certainly not above charity from a woman.

Chez said...

Should I go ahead and throw my thoughts on this out there? I guess I can, seeing as how my name is below the masthead.

I'm a big fan of switching things up, which means that I don't really have a preference as long as it's not, uh, unnavigable down there, if you get my drift -- and I say this as someone who really enjoys being down there (not pandering either); what's fun, though, is being with someone for a while and suddenly finding that she's decided to shave completely, or if she's shaved, to grow it out a little. It keeps things interesting and in a not-so-strange way shows that she's a little adventurous and playful. That's cool.

Now why the hell am I talking about this?

Jeremy said...

Viva el especto natural!