Tuesday, February 08, 2011

The Despair Witch Project

This could easily count as an extended Quote of the Day; one way or the other it deserves to be posted almost in its entirety to truly appreciate the magnitude of the absurdity we're talking about here.

"Dear Supporter,

Your incredible contribution of time and money allowed us to send the establishment a powerful message last year. Our fight is not over as so many patriots like you have sacrificed over the years to keep America great!

You've probably heard about the latest smear on me. The establishment is going to keep attacking and keep trying to destroy those they think might be a threat.

They won't let up.

The Left keeps after me because they consider strong, Republican women a danger to their status quo. Larry Kudlow recently said "the hope of the Tea Party rests with you because this is going to be used to discredit the Tea Party in its entirety."

Bill O'Reilly recognizes the viciousness of the Left's attacks on me. Recently on his program he said "...the press relished attacking you. They relished it. They loved it... they didn't go after Carly Fiorina the way they went after you. It was all personal... They just want to demean you... The old boys don't want to give up their power."

I'm determined not to let them destroy our movement. If I stand alone, though, I'm no match for the liberal media and the political establishment. But, with us standing together to fight, they don't have a chance!

That's why I'm starting ChristinePAC.

ChristinePAC can investigate and counter attack leftwing groups, many funded with one million dollars or more from billionaire leftist George Soros.

A strong ChristinePAC will enable me to counter the liberal-controlled GOP establishment in upcoming Congressional Primaries...

Your donation also enables me to speak out in many venues from Coast to Coast, thereby helping support a nationwide effort. This is a way that will help me counter attack our opponents and bring the battle to them.

You have helped me come this far. You have been a true friend. Please help me again with your donation. These are battles that will be won or lost based on how much support and organization our side can put forward right now.

That is why I ask you most urgently to lend your financial support to ChristinePAC.

Make your donation right now...

My friend, what you helped me do at the six week long Battle of Delaware 2010, sent shock waves throughout the nation. We can build on what we have accomplished if you will help me again in supporting ChristinePAC.


Christine O'Donnell"

Help me, Ben and Myrna Kenobi of Lubbock, Texas -- you're my only hope.

This won't come as a surprise to anybody, but if all of this sounds familiar it should: O'Donnell is taking a page directly out of the ghostwritten playbook of her idol, another certain narcissistic politi-celebrity who's been roundly ridiculed not because of her beliefs but because she's a blithering idiot.* It's unfortunate, really, because Christine O'Donnell always struck me as likable if not a little misguided. It was a mistake, though, to assume she'd do the classy thing and just quietly go away after the drubbing she took, rather than play the victim card in an effort to extend her 15 minutes; that's just not the way things are done anymore, not when there's a Q Score to be maintained and money to be made.

*For the record, I think this nation turned a bit of a corner with the shooting of Gabby Giffords and so with that in mind, and with high hopes, I silently signed on to Dana Milbank's moratorium on bringing up the name of that aforementioned blight on the national consciousness for the entire month of February. Hope you've noticed how shameless-publicity-stunt-free things have been around here lately.


+++++++++++++++ said...

your headlines are always spot on, insanely funny most of the time. but this one deserves a fucking award or something.

Capt Clown said...

I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be read in the character of Dr. Evil:

"...and counter attack leftwing groups, many funded with (sticks pinky in mouth backwards) one MILLION dollars..."

Eric said...

"The latest smear"? Is that what the kids are calling FEC investigations these days?

It's actually a little sad: I don't find O'Donnell unlikeable the way She-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Named is unlikeable. But I think O'Donnell really needs to stay down right now.

Anonymous said...

OMG. The English teacher in me just can't get past the poorly written letter! Eeek! Chez, help her write a letter for intelligent adults!
Sadly, I think that Christine is playing to an audience that follows emotional phrases and never turns on the brain cells.
Nothing like us.

Ref said...

She's too dim-witted to get the usual kinds of wingnut welfare, so she's opening up her own little shop of mendacity. This isn't new. Alan Keyes has been doing it for years. You constantly run for things and your "campaign" rakes in bucks for you.

Mart said...

I am with Eric. Takes some balls to play victim when the toothless do-nothing FEC is taking action against you. OTOH, when the often icky Melanie Sloan CREW group cries you are a crook for stealing $20,000 grand over two years, when you collected over $7M... I think her only crime is lack of imagination. She should have been able to embezzle a cool million with no questions asked. For that reason alone she should be deemed incompetent to be a Senator.

Web Dunce said...

"the liberal controlled GOP establishment?"

Holy Christ!

Anonymous said...

medic8r here -

OMG, it's the deluded talking to the deluded in that letter. The choice of certain buzzwords is SO telling. Those who are reading are "patriots" - as if their political opponents are not, so that the right can claim some kind of superiority in that regard. Get over yourselves!

Then, they call the campaign "the six-week long Battle of Delaware". What are they, 8 years old? Playing dressup? It's asinine!

And the persecution complex ... you know, maybe they went after you because you were such low-hanging fruit! She's either clueless or manipulative, or an evil concoction of both.

Izar Talon said...

There's one really big message you can get from out of this mess: The Republican Party wasn't far enough to the Right for these people, so they had to create a whole new party for themselves, the Tea Party!

They like to say that the aren't affiliate with the GOP. Well, that's true; they're even FURTHER Right-Wing than the Republicans. Like she revealed with that line about the "Liberal controlled GOP establishment."

This means that, according to Tea Party members (and I use that term in every conceivable meaning) consider the GOP establishment to far to the Left for their tastes. Which is just fucking SCARY. Just what does that MEAN, anyway? Wouldn't that mean that, more than just fighting to maintain the status quo (despite O'Donnells brain-damaged claim that they are fighting AGAINST the status quo) they actively seek to return American society to previous and discarded values systems? Revoking womens' suffrage? Repealing child labor laws, destroying unions, and demolishing all the other rules that were enacted to prevent robber-barons from running the country? (Rich Conservatives would rally behind THAT, without question." Could it be that they ultimately seek the Reinstating of slavery?

And they wonder why they don't see black people at Tea arty rallies.

Seriously now, this is just FUCKING SCARY. It IS true that they see the Republican Party as being to far to the Left. Something which is scary in-and-of-itself. What kind of MONSTERS would want things even MORE Right-Wing than the GOP leadership? These people are simply afraid of CHANGE, in ANY form. I think that's why Obama has them so terrified; not only is he a scary black man as President, but his campaign slogan was "Change!" I'm not surprised it sent these people into apoplectic convulsions. Now they're lashing out mindlessly at ANYTHING that doesn't unambiguously identify itself as "one of them." So much that they vilify and denounce the GOP as Lib'ruls, because, even though they, too, are Conservatives, they aren't the Tea Party's special specific "type" of Conservatives, and are therefore Outlanders and a dangerous subversive threat to the Grand High Patriotic Wizard of the Tea Party.

With a policy dear to old George W hisself, you are either WITH the Tea Party, or AGAINST them. and that includes ideological bed-mates; you have to be an actual card-carrying member of the Tea Party or you are an ENEMY. Not even sharing the exact same ideologies and goals protects you from this. The GOP wants exactly the same thing as the TP (I quite like that abbreviation for them) but it isn't actually a PART of the TP, therefore it is an ENEMY.

This idea is, in fact, central to the beliefs and views of he Tea Party, and, I believe, all Conservatives. It doesn't matter what you believe inside your heart, it is only your affiliation, your appearance, your associates, your SOCIAL identity, that matters to them. You can believe all the exact same things they believe as much as you want, but if you don't belong to the right clubs, have the right pedigree, wear the right clothes, and have the right color skin, you still aren't "one of them."

J. Dack said...

"Your donation also enables me to speak out in many venues from Coast to Coast"

And prevents me from having to get an actual job, and thank Christ because folks, I literally know how to do nothing.