Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Enough Is Enough

I realize this will sound a tad hypocritical given all my whining about the need to tone down the violent rhetoric, but, let's face it, there have to be one or two things in this world we can all agree on.

So with that in mind, can somebody please just finally beat the fucking shit out of Fred Phelps and the psychos in the Westboro Baptist Church?


The Village Voice: Westboro Baptist Church To Picket Funeral of Tucson Shooting Victims, Including 9-Year-Old Christina Green/1.11.11

(By the way, it pains me to no end to put a picture of this little girl up next to my own rage and the mere mention of Fred Phelps's name, but I wanted to make the point crystal clear.)


Amy said...

My only hope is this man and his hateful followers get to spend eternity in hell, getting large, sharp pineapples shoved up their asses on a daily basis.

Or worse.

vince said...

The good thing is that people in Tuscon plan an "angel action" with 8- by 10-foot "angel wings" worn by participants and used to shield mourners from pickets:


TK said...

St. Peter: So, what have we here?
Phelps: Reverend Fred Phelps, O Holy One.
St. Peter: Mm hm. And what did your life amount to, Mr. Phelps.
Phelps: It's Reverend.
St. Peter: I asked you a fucking question.
Phelps. Well... I gathered a flock of holy people around me and we protested the funerals of dead soldiers, queers, and children.
St. Peter: I'm sorry... what the fuck did you just say?
Phelps: It was in the name of our Lord!
St. Peter: Our Lord?
Phelps. Yes, you see, we felt that -
St. Peter: Stop. You're telling me that you gathered together a flock of believers, and persuaded them to picket... at funerals. Of soldiers, children, and just random gay people?
Phelps: Yes! I know, right? Inspired. We felt that they were an abomination and that-
St. Peter: You. Protested. Funerals.
Phelps: Yes, you see -
St. Peter: [pulls lever to open trap door into hell]
St. Peter: Fucking morons.

Chez said...

Comment of the week, right there.

Steven D Skelton said...

Someone should start a legal defense fund and we should all pledge a fifty to pay the legal bills for the man who cracks Fred Phelps in the face.

J. Dack said...

I'm on board with this plan.

Anon said...

Phelps: What the...where am I?
Satan: You really haven't guessed by now?
Phelps: What are you doing here?
Satan: I'm just here to cut the ribbon, Fred. We had to build a whole new wing of Hell just for you.
Phelps: What? I'm not evil!
Satan: Fred, Fred, Fred....you sad sack of shit. I may be evil, but you protested funerals!
Phelps: I was just doing what God instructed!
Satan: Usually at this point, people ask for mercy, Fred.
*kicks Fred into pool of lava*
Satan: Not that you'll get any.

Chez said...

We could keep this going all day.

TK said...

Phelps: I was just doing what God instructed!

Satan: You'd be amazed at how often I hear that.

God: Not my fault the dumb motherfucker can't read. My instructions are pretty clear.

Satan: Yeah, yeah. [rolls up sleeves] Listen, G, you're gonna want to head back upstairs. Shit's about to get... messy.

Narbe said...

People like that make the rest of us wish Hell would actually exist, even though it would still be a vacation for them.

Jadine said...

Fred Phelps has serious mental issues that I feel could be best dealt via a lobotomy. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Busayo said...

They're like real-life trolls, aren't they? Except rather than roll your eyes and ignore them you want to take a piece of plywood and bash their brains in.

namron said...

Phelps is probably reading all of this and getting his rocks off. He thrives on the brain-frying, as-puckering rage we all feel when we see him and hear of him. Let's treat him like the ooze in Ghostbusters II and cumbaya him to obscurity. (With sincere apologies for the 80's meatphors and refrences.)

FabMax said...

@Narbe: Hell exists for those who believe in it. I'm pretty sure Phelps will end up there.

Withnail said...

What disturbs me isn't Fred. So he's a fucking wackjob. No shortage of those there. What's disturbing is how he somehow brainwashed his entire extended family to be equally abominable pieces of shit as well. That takes talent.

hollygirl78 said...

I am not advocating this in any way, shape, form or fashion. I do not want this to happen. Violence is bad. I am simply wondering if a violent attack on the Phelps clan occurred -- is there a DA anywhere who would prosecute, and if there is, is there a jury that would convict? Where? I live in Red State Bible Belt Hell and I doubt there's one here.

Blade said...

Hi Chez.

Agree x1000.

Also, "St. Peter: I asked you a fucking question." is the greatest thing I've ever read.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps they could let Jared Loughner out long enough to mow down Phelps and his followers. Just tell him he has unfinished business.

Chez said...

I would normally agree, Namron -- and believe me, there's a part of me that thinks that's exactly the answer here. But I have a feeling that literally beating him to within an inch of his life so that he's eating through a straw for the next couple of years might do the trick too.

Anonymous said...

Fred's and his kin are easy targets. This is a dude that has been standing up for his principles, no matter what they may be, his whole life. Let's not forget, this is the man that pretty much by himself got Jim Crow laws struck down in Oklahoma. He had family repeatedly threatened, had his home fire bombed, and pretty much had every redneck in the state gunning for him. So the idea that threats of violence are going to scare him away is pretty silly.

I'm not saying his noble work to stop segregation is anything close to what he is doing now. To be honest the man has done more the acceptance of gays into mainstream society by parading his family in the most asshole fashion possible that it almost comes off as a brilliant Kaufman-ish stunt. Its really would be honest if this was the whole point of him being such a hateful ass...its a crazy dadaist stunt to make us all think.

As disgusting as his actions are, considering what "mainstream" religions consider as appropriate behavior is not that far off. The Catholic Church is still in denial about the AIDS crisis, Islam advocates violence as the answer to everything, and pretty much the best evidence I can think of a lack of a deity is pretty much the State of Israel and how three religions all seem willing to do whatever it takes to prevent a meaningful and peaceful solution to what is basically a really retarded real estate problem.

As much as Fred and Company make the majority of us uncomfortable, they are protected by our constitution. They pretty much are the first line of defense against censorship. As a vet, would I like to punch him for protesting at the funerals of my fellow service members? Yeah...but there are a lot of people I want to punch...doesn't mean I should nor anyone else do so.

BenoƮt from Ottawa said...

Don't let crazy people get the better of you.

Phelps's crew are deranged, you just have to read some of their stuff. Short circuits in the synapses, just like the shooter in this case.

And like everyone else, Phelpites will die, decay and be forgotten. That is the rule of the world. "God" and "hell" have nothing to do with anything.

It's all here and now. So fuck the idiot. He and his Phelpites won't last long, despite everyone's uneasy 'respect' of their free speech rights.

Anonymous said...

Here is the thing I don't get.

When the lone, uneducated, kid from the southwest, who is obviously mentally deranged, goes on shooting spree; all kinds of associations are imagined. It has to be guns and radical right wing politics that drove him over the edge. This opposed to simply recognizing that there was no edge, he is fucking crazy.

However, when the lone, well educated kid from Virginia Tech (which is a prime feeder of wealthy andeducated DC crowd) goes on a rampage, he is just dismissed as
Fucking crazy from the get go.

Stop trying to over analyze why an insane person does what they do. It is too subjective and you are not even living on their planet.

It's like trying to decipher Fred. The sky is red on his planet and you are not invited.

Rivalen said...

At this point I'm hoping there is an afterlife because m idea of Heaven is getting to hang out in front of the live feed of Fred Phelps in Hell so I can watch him and his stupid hat be ravaged by demon-cock.

Ref said...

Anon 7:33, are you seriously trying to say the VTech shooter was a "liberal?" I don't believe there was any evidence of political motivation of any kind on his part.


Actually, the brains (to use the term loosely) behind the WBC is Phelps' daughter. The vicious, truthless skank is a lawyer. They make money filing lawsuits against governments and individuals who "deny them their rights." The Angels group is doing it right. Passing laws against them is a waste of time and just gets you sued.

Last, I myself would be hard put not to start swinging if I found myself in their presence, but that isn't the way to handle them.

VOTAR said...

As long as you don't (please please please don't!) put up that awful police booking photo of Uncle Fester.

Anonymous said...


The difference is that the VT guy went and shot up a bunch of random people. This guy showed up at an event and specifically singled out one person. Everyone else he shot just happened to be there. His target was a person had been singled out by other people and vilified by them. Sure, it could be a coincidence, but I've got a $100 burning a hole in my pocket that says it isn't.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but if Phelps comes out of his cave and sees his own shadow, SIX MORE MONTHS WINTER!!!!
People unclear on the concept. A Little girl got shot, as well as a judge. Honestly, the judge was taking far more of a chance, but hey. That's why I avoid public. I'm not a prayerful sorta fella, but I'm thinking of her, and doing my damdest to pass along that it wasn't her fault.

Now would someone please make sure this asshole doesn't breed? Progeny or stupid letters from prison, fry him up and I'd like the eggs over easy, hon.

Bill Orvis White said...

I've thought about mowing down this Phelps fella with my 150. The rule of law and God stops me every time. I don't have answers. That's why I go to church.

God Bless,

Anonymous said...

@anon 1:44:

So if I follow your logic, irrationally targeting a specific individual based on some delusional fascination or paranoia is NOT ok, but we can overlook some things if you are randomly targeting people, say like fellow students?

I am not sure if that's what you meant, but if you look at what my point was, we all seem to be projecting our own political views on this incident because it happened in Arizona to a Democrat.

If you look at some of the postings the kid wrote and descriptions of people who knew him; it wasn't politics. It was an anti-social person with some unhealthy fantasies. He was rejected by society because he was strange and become even more of an outcast as he embraced that role.

WE are the ones who have seemed to conclude that it was a well defined political statement.

We rail at the rhetoric with our rhetoric.

fat arms said...

Topeka beat the Westboro church by ignoring them for years. i do wish the media would stop giving them coverage. ignoring does work, hence the angels.
as for violence... it would make me feel better only briefly. because the last thing i want to do is make a martyr out of someone full of hate.

Anonymous said...

If what this guy says is true, does that make their actions even worse?