"P-E-T-S... PETS! PETS! PETS!"
-- Jim Norton of The Opie and Anthony Show on the mugshot photo of a Long Island man arrested for allegedly molesting a dog, in which he appears to be wearing a New York Jets jersey
Various reports indicate that Mitchell Marsicano performed oral sex on the two-year-old Shiba Inu. The dog's name, by the way: Snowball.
I love it when I don't even have to try.