A transcript of the conversation Votar and I had on Facebook yesterday while having lunch:
Status Update: OK, so, beer and wings... and today's topic of conversation is (drum roll please): the name of the newly announced Top Gun sequel. Go!
Votar: Top Gun 2: Massive Ordnance Delivery Package
Votar: Top Gun 2: Someone Please Fight Us
Votar: Top Gun 2: Payload Specialists
Chez: Top Gun 2: Behind Enemy Lines... Or Just Behind the Enemy
Votar: Top Gun 2: Improvised Explosive Devices
Chez: Top Gun 2: Ass Sex!
Votar: Top Gun 2: The Butt Locker
Chez: Top Gun 2: Queer of Flying
Chez: Top Gun Re-load-ed
Votar: Top Gun 2: Weapons of Ass Destruction
Chez: Top Gun 2: Electric Buggerloo
Chez: Top Gun 2: Bugger Buster
Chez: Top Gun 2: Full Frontal Aggression (or in Military Lingo: FFAGG)
Chez: Top Gun 2: Wings of the White Swallow
Chez: Top Gun 2: Cum Again
Votar: Top Gun 2: Blowing Maverick
Chez: Top Gun 2: Extreme Homo Makeover
Chez: Top Gun 2: The Musical
Chez: Top Gun 2: Men in Tight
Votar: Top Gun 2: Sit in the Cockspit
Chez: Top Gun 2: Flame Out
Chez: Top Gun 2: Fire and Iceman
Chez: Top Gun 2: To Mav and Have Cock (too movie geekish?)
Votar: Top Gun 2: Goose Juice
Votar: Top Gun 2: Premature Ejection
Chez: Top Gun 2: You've Lost That Coming-on-My-Back Feeling
Chez: Top Gun 2: Butt Pilots
Votar: Top Gun 2: Hershey Highway To the Danger Zone
Votar: Top Gun 2: Timetable for Withdrawal
Chez: Top Gun 2: "That Faggoty White Uniform"
Chez: Top Gun 2: If We Stop Having Man-Sex, the Terrorists Win
Votar: Top Gun 2: InsemiNation Building
Votar: Top Gun 2: Negative Ghostrider, the Sphincter is Full
Votar: Top Gun 2: Leave the Comedy To the Professionals
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Men on Film
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20 comments:
Top Gun 24 ✈ years later.
Top Gun 21 ✈ twenty first century.
⁞
Top Gun 16 ✈ years old… Chez was when he first saw it… Still acting like it for the sequel…¹
¹ ☞ Just kidding!
Top Gun 2: Don't Ask...Don't Tell.
Top Gun 2: The Return of Penny Benjamin.
Top Gun 2: Going Ball*istic.
Top Gun 2: Flyanetics.
Top Gun 2: Flying High on the Down Low.
Top Gun 2: Keepin' it Reel.
Top Gun 2: Switching to Missiles.
Top Gun 2: Back to the Cockpit.
Top Gun 2: The Iceman Cometh.
This could be my estranged husband and any of a number of his friends. *sigh* Guys!
Top Gun 2: Put It in My Hurt Locker
Or maybe just...
Top Gun 2: The Spurt Locker
By the way, believe it or not I've never seen this movie from start to finish. I always kinda thought it was crap -- even when I was a teenager. But before anyone goes thinking that I had refined tastes even at a young age, The Secret of My Success is still one of my all-time favorite movies.
Gosh, we're all looking forward to your nigger jokes next!
Aw, did I offend your fragile sensibilities, Doc?
Electric Buggerloo nearly made me snort out my coffee. Thanks!
Chez, your Few Good Men reference made me think:
Top Gun 2: With your Harvard Mouth
So far, the win goes to kanye with the DADT reference.
I wasn't even halfway through the list when I my laughter turned into a coughing fit!
Doc, I suggest decaf and a laxative.
As a gay man, yes a bit. I'm not quite a fragile flower but I didn't find it one bit funny.
I know you guys are just joking but some jokes between friends are best left there.
Fair enough, Doc. But I think I've made my thoughts and feelings on gay issues -- real issues, not this nonsense -- pretty clear. A joke is a joke and as you know there's very little that's off-limits around here. Incidentally, not to sound like Seinfeld or anything, but at no point did either of us say that there's anything wrong with being gay, just that Top Gun is, well, really homoerotic. And what makes it so ripe for humor is the fact that it bills itself as this tough guy movie and it's really anything but. That's why it's inherently funny -- because it's the most "closeted" gay movie in history (or the most subversive pro-gay film ever made).
Anyway, now that I've explained the joke...
Top Gun: Big Guns
Top Gun 2: It Helped Recruiting Last Time, Damn It
Top Gun 2: Way More Product Placement This Time
(volleyball provided by Wilson, underwear provided by CK)
...and, at the risk of offending Doc:
Top Gun 2: Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Somebody suggested Top Gun 2: Flying Seaman
And of course, Top Gun 2: Feltch Lives
Here's a heterosexual joke...
How about: Topless Gun ?
Oh, I appreciate your truly eloquent writings in support of recognition of same-sex marriage, gay rights, etc. I do not think of you as homophobic at all nor would every accuse you of being one. You are definitely on the right side sir.
I can take a good gay joke as well as the next queer. It takes far more than this to get my panties in a twist. The post just struck a bad chord to me and it seemed more out of character with your other writings. In the long run, no harm, no foul.
Maybe I'm just dreading what the fucking republicans are going to gay bash with once they get control and the pussy democrats kowtow to it all. Just gets a little tiring and disappointing.
/vent :)
I definitely get your point. Obviously, no real offense intended.
Top Gun 2: Feltch Lives had me at hello.
Top Gun 2: Bottoms up
Bottom Gun
Top Gun 2: The spanking
Top Gun 2: The coin slot
Top Gun 2: Pants on the ground
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