Sunday, September 19, 2010

Sunday Sacrilege


"Sex is a covenant between a man and a woman and God."

-- Christine O'Donnell

Really?

Wouldn't a threesome with God be a little, I don't know, intimidating? I mean, there you are with your insignificant man-parts while God's pulling a Dr. Manhattan on her, making her come from halfway across the room -- all while she's calling out his name over and over.

Plus, I have to imagine that God semen is powerful stuff. Probably burns right through you like Alien blood. You'd have to make sure you're out of the line of fire.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Someone really needs to shop in what's missing from that picture.

Anonymous said...

Some comic said he couldn't have sex with an atheist, because he didn't want to hear, "Oh, science, oh, science."

Anonymous said...

well she's answered the question then. masturbation is not sex.

Anonymous said...

Wait...so if I don't get God to sign this covenant, am I raping God?

JW said...

Kinda funny, her with her "O" face.

I recommend Larry Niven's "Superman, Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex."

Chez said...

You can't rape God, silly. He on the other hand can find all kinds of creative ways to rape you. Trust me on this.

Anonymous said...

Ooh, yeah, Chez! God will make you his bitch faster than your cellmate, Bubba. We've both had recent experience of this.

ErinM said...

Except for the Holy Blessed Virgin Mary. Poor Joseph. No covenant for him, tonight...

Sheriff Bart said...

A mouth like that? I'd show God some tricks.

Bill Orvis White said...

The Honorable Miss Christine is right. S-x is a covenant between man, woman and the Lord Almighty who is at the foot of the bed along with a private camera inside of a John Ashcroft bobblehead - just to make sure that man and woman do not deviate from the missionary position which is "God Certified." Anything away from this pro-creation method of love-making between man and woman will certainly be a mandatory invitation to the fiery pits of Hell.
Amen,
Bill

Anonymous said...

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

Anonymous said...

So when I have sex with my girlfriend, does that mean I am also having sex with God? Does that make me gay?

Anonymous said...

lol, last time I saw a mouth like that I was imagining me...ah, shit, I'm so going to hell!

Chez said...

Don't you know? Being flaming gay for Jesus is a good thing. Why do you think they made him so hot, with that long hair, perfect alabaster skin and those crystal blue eyes.

Trixi said...

I'm sorry, but if you're agin pleasuring yourself, then I'm agin you! Or something.