Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Pastor and Servants

So if you've been smart enough to avoid watching the morning news shows today -- any show on just about any network -- you probably missed the "Crazy Train" satellite interview tour of Pastor Terry Jones. The fucker was everywhere this morning, facing a stern talking-to by one Concerned Television News Anchor® after another over his flock's planned Koran crisping this coming weekend.

At one point, during a one-on-one with CNN's Kiran Chetry, Pastor Terry admitted that the warning from General Petraeus has given his church a tiny amount of pause -- that his people are now "praying on it."


What do you want to bet there won't be a Koran burning or anything of the sort on Saturday? There doesn't have to be, now that Pastor Drama Queen has gotten all the attention he, his little church and his foolhardy cause could ever want.


VOTAR said...

The night is black
Without a moon
The air is thick, and still

The vigilantes gather on
The lonely torchlit hill

Features distorted in the flickering light
The faces are twisted and grotesque
Silent and stern in the sweltering night
The mob moves like demons possessed
Quiet in conscience, calm in their right ---
Confident their ways are best

The righteous rise
With burning eyes
Of hatred and ill-will

Madmen fed on fear and lies
To beat, and burn, and kill

They say there are strangers, who threaten us
In our immigrants and infidels
They say there is strangeness, too dangerous
In our theatres and bookstore shelves
That those who know what's best for us ---
Must rise and save us from ourselves

Quick to judge
Quick to anger
Slow to understand

Ignorance and prejudice
And fear
Walk hand in hand

The Bacon said...

Part of me wants to say if it pisses them off because a book is burned, then fuck them. Burn the book out of principle because no one should be so damned thin skinned.

Another part of me wants to say that just because they are a bunch of ass holes doesn't mean this church is any more right when they act like a bunch of ass holes.

But in the end, I kind of think it doesn't matter. Radical Islam is like a pissed off ex-wife. It really doesn't matter what you do or don't do, she is going to hate you because, well, she is a hateful bitch and that is what they do.

pantherhawk said...

Actually if a christian goes to a muslim countrym, he would be more likely to be burned a live himself, rather then the bible, PEOPLE WAKE UP AND SEE THE BARBARIAN ACTS MUSLISMS ARE DOING TO CHRISTIANS IN THEIR COUNTRIES, CUTTING THEIR HEADS OF, HOW MERCILESS IS THAT? I FIND BURNING THE KORAN QUIT PEACEFULL!

kanye said...

Terry Jones: And who might you be, sir?

Bound man: My name is Mr. Kim.

Terry Jones: And what is it that I can for you today, Mr. Kim?

Bound Man: You tell me. I was sitting in Starbuck's, enjoying a double mocha frappacino when all of the sudden a bunch of holyrollers burst into the joint. They grabbed me up, duct-taped my and hands and feet and threw me in the back of a pickup truck. Next thing I know, I'm here with you.

Terry Jones: Why in God's name did you guys kidnap Mr. Kim?

Foaming Mouthbreathers, in unison: You told us to getchyou a Korean to burn, Boss.

Terry Jones: You idiots! I said Koran!

Foaming Mouthbreather #1: Sorry Boss.

Foaming Mouthbreather #2: Sorry Boss.

Foaming Mouthbreather #3: So what should we do with him?

Terry Jones: Shave his head, put a Nehru jacket on him and toss him on the logpile. We'll tell everyone that he's Kim Jong Il.

Foaming Mouthbreather #1: Genius!

Foaming Mouthbreather #2: Divine insparation!

Foaming Mouthbreather #3:That's why you're the boss!

Terry Jones: Damn straight.

Busayo said...

Did he wear those sunglasses for the interviews? Was Mr. DeMille just out of shot, perchance?

Asshat. And he is still unworthy of that moustache,

BenoƮt from Ottawa said...

I agree, Chez. When I heard the heart of what Patraeus had said, I thought : there's no effing way that T.J.* guy is gonna go ahead with the Quran-burning, not after this.

He and his gang have no choice but to stand with the defenders of the U.S.A., and what P. said was clear: you're going to do harm to our boys if you do that.

Simple. (I sure as hell hope I'm not wrong.)

*Fucking thief of a good Monty Python name, to boot!...

Chez said...

You rule, pantherhawk. Thanks for the brilliant satire. That's exactly what an illiterate redneck sounds like. Well played.

B8ovin said...

Dear Mr/Ms the Bacon,

I respectfully disagree with you. Not about assholes and ex-wives, but about burning books and the intrinsic outrage indicating the skin thickness of the outraged.

Thinking in terms of symbolic actions and public narratives, burning has always been indicative of complete destruction. Books are repositories of ideas and narratives, and burning them is a symbolic way of indicating a desire to destroy those ideas.

Burning a book is an action that states an idea, in and of itself needs to be destroyed, but what are our brains worth if we don't have access to ideas and the legitimate expression of those ideas? I have read a very small portion of the Koran, and what this small time religious dictator is saying to me is that I should burn the understanding of those words from my brain. I thus take umbrage at this action.

More to the point, book burning is an act proscribed by fascism and totalitarianism. The act is not protest, as in burning a flag, it is aggression and I have no doubt even moderate Muslims will see it that way. If you doubt it, imagine the reaction across this country, even by Rev. Jones if Muslims burned Bibles. Perhaps you would feel differently and I would applaud your consistency. However, even as an atheist I would protest.

Deacon Blue said...

Terry Jones is just one fucking side of the dodecahedron die that I'm getting sick of.

Joel Osteen with his big smile and stadium sized church so that he can rake in millions for self-help claptrap that isn't worthy of the bargain bin.

Robertson/Falwell/etc. blaming disasters on the sins of nations' residents and finding niche groups to demonize.

Attention whores like Terry Jones.

A good part of organized Christianity has gone the same way as publicly traded companies that tank the economy and are praised by Wall Street...it's become the home of criminals, sadists, hucksters and shitheels.

What good there is (corporate or religious) is officially drowned out by people like this who hog the spotlight.

scientia potentia est said...

pantherhawk.....keep living with that eye for an eye mentality, let me know know it works out for you.
Personally I don't understand why burning the Koran will help the christian cause anymore, just make you look that much more ignorant. You're giving all Christians a bad name, just like how terrorists gave all Muslims a bad name. It shouldn't be that way, a few religious nut jobs shouldn't have that much power over how society views an entire culture. Unfortunately it's within the church patrons' First Amendment rights to spread their ignorant opinions. At least the good news is that in this day and age ignorance is completely optional, so these crazed southern fanatics could at least skim a Wiki article about Muslims, and learn that nowhere in the Koran does it say "death to America" and that they're just fueling an equally ignorant hate-fire (it's a word, I just made it one.) Then maybe rational thought will take over, at least in one person.

Anonymous said...

It is all about the Benjamins. I am sure the money is flowing into this guy's church like never before as he tapped into the hater's vein. He will pull out just before lighting the match, but not before the last check is written. Just another Elmer Gantry fleecing the flock. It works every time.

Anonymous said...

But I hear there will be a BBQ...


Tabi said...

What the fuck is a pantherhawk?

howdidIgethere said...

B8ovin -- IMO, it's clear that The Bacon is a man, given his "pissed-off ex-wife" and "hateful bitch" statements.*

I applaud your point about book burning being about more than a bonfire of miscellaneous papers.

Deacon Blue -- I thank you for your words.

*a. sometimes ex-spouses have a frigging good reason to be pissed-off and b. whether or not someone is a "hateful bitch" is usually in the eye of the beholder.