Sunday, July 04, 2010

"There's Nothing Funny About Herrman"

The transcript of a conversation that took place yesterday, via comments posted on my Facebook wall, following Germany's 4-0 rout of Argentina in the World Cup:

STATUS: I wonder if, just before piling him into a cattle car, Germany told Maradona, "Remove those watches. You will not need them. We promise they will be here waiting for you when you return."

Amanda: Heh. They OWNED those Argentinians.

Adrian: Are you really trading on a 65-year-old joke that's unfunny and insensitive at best, and blatantly offensive at worst? How much time has to pass before a football squad no longer has to answer for the actions of their military forebears? Come on, man: you're wittier than this.

Votar: Man, Germany really shoveled Argentina into an oven there....

Leigh: Maybe it's only when Germany defeats Poland in soccer will the US actually care about it.

Chez: Dude, did Jew see that last goal? Incredible.

Alison: In fairness to Chez, Adrian, it wasn't so much a joke 65 years ago as it was something that, you know...happened.

Votar: The Germans saw all these guys on the field in striped uniforms and wondered "what are all these gypsies doing outside the barbed wire?"

Chez: Argentina = Schindler's Listless

Votar: Argentina got crystal mocked.

Votar: It was the Night Of The Long Maldives

Chez: Gonna be quite a bit of fuhrer in Buenos Aires over this loss.

Votar: It should have been a race to the finish.

A Master Race, if you will.

Votar: If they did not play well, the German coach threatened to send the team on a retreat where they must think very hard about their strategy.

A Concentration Camp, if you will.

Chez: Sorry, that last comment was Goebbled... what did you say again?

Votar: Perhaps you should get your Goering checked.

Chez: Sorry. It's been on the Fritz lately.

Matt: Arbeitet macht frei!

Votar: The Germans never lost focus. They kept their auschwitz about them.

Chez: They didn't Krakow under pressure.

Amanda: Ok, these jokes are boring now. Come on.

Votar: Yeah you better keep your jokes in Czech. I can't imagine what might be coming annexed.

Chez: Yup. People are becoming Lebensbored.

Votar: Yeah looks like someone Warsaw us to ghetto the point....

Chez: Udo Kier!

Alanna: best.status comments.ever.

Votar: What a mess that pitch was after that match. To clean it they had to apply the final solution.

Chez: Nah, the rain cleaned it. Cause you know, it's raining Mengele.

Votar: The Germans were so dominant they never had to come from beHeinrich

Votar: It was the best match Eva...


Votar: It was a tough match too. The Germans really had to Bunker down at the end.

Chez: They'd have done better if they hadn't missed the Nurgemberg tryouts.

Chez: Nuremberg. I suck.

Votar: Dude. You must be drunk. SEIG HEIL!!!!!

Incidentally, Votar and I were sitting directly across from each other the entire time -- at a table littered with chicken wing scraps and empty pitchers of beer.


VOTAR said...

This has gone on long enough.

You Schutzstaffel while you're ahead.

VOTAR said...

Do you have some sort of Axis to grind or something?

VOTAR said...

I'm wracking my brain trying to gestapo the point of all this.

Michael J. West said...

All this tasteless humor. And at such a hollow cost.

kanye said...

Even before you mentioned the beer, I kind of figured that you guys were Blitzed.

Dan Coyle said...

There must be a final resolution to all these cheap jokes.

Alanna said...

It was phenomenal. You guys need a show.

FabMax said...


To a German like me, this kind of humour is not funny.
But not because it's insulting, tasteless and crude, but because it's boring. You could at least make the effort to find something new about us.

Mo said...


Chez said...

Reminds me of a really great German joke I once heard, Fab:

Knock, knock?

Who's there?


Peaches who?

Peaches have no intrinsic value and there is no God.

Ref said...

Utterly tasteless! It's why I keep coming back.

VOTAR said...

Yeah the jokes started to get a Meiny bit Kampfy there, huh?

Chez said...

YeSS. YeSS they are.

celery said...

i hope that germany loses so that someone will make an awesome hitler downfall parody.

whenever i think that they've stopped being funny, i'm wrong.

VOTAR said...

Not everyone will appreciate your humor. You may have to panzer to a wider audience.

kanye said...

Well, now that you ubermenschen it, Votar...

Chez said...

Okay, oven't we beat this to death now?

VOTAR said...

You know, come to think of it, there are only two other comment threads that I Reich more than this one.

Which, of course, makes this one...

Chez said...

How could I Nazi that one coming?

60ft6in said...

I would not touch your jokes with a ten foot Pole.

World Cup Prediction: The Magic of 3964 -- Believe it or not.

Fact 1. Brazil won the World Cup in 1994. Before that they had also won it in 1970. Add these two years and you get 3964 (1994+1970 = 3964).

Fact 2. Argentina won its last World Cup in 1986. Before that they had also won it in 1978. Add these two years and you get 3964 (1986+1978 = 3964).

Fact 3. Germany won its last World Cup in 1990. Before that they had also won it in 1974. Add these two years and you get 3964 (1990+1974 = 3964).

Fact 4. Brazil also won its World Cup in 2002. Before that they had also won it in 1962. Add these two years and you get 3964 (2002+1962 = 3964).

Conclusion = This year is 2010 & 3964 - 2010 = 1954. So, country that won in 1954 will win this world cup (2010+1954 = 3964). The country that won in 1954 was Germany. Hence, by this logic of numerology, this World Cup will go to Germany.

Let us wait & see if this logic turns true - interesting..isn't it..??

Chez said...

The Germans have a ten-foot Pole. His name is Miroslav Klose.

motheralex said...

Yeah, but how many times have this many people, world-wide, gotten drunk together? That's gotta be a record. I really think they need to release small, very-irked dogs of varying breeds onto the pitch in the second half. THAT would make it fun to watch.
I'm going back to golf. I'm hoping Tiger has yet another problem, but otherwise, napping on the sofa sounds good.
Drive safe!