I. Love. This. Guy. He is most interesting!
He once had a staring contest with a cat. After four days, he lost - and then ripped the cat's head off.
Oh, it's on. It is so on.Votar? ...
He never ties his shoes.They always lose.
He actually likes Mondays.
He has a box full of the tags he ripped off his mattresses.And no, you aren't allowed to rummage through it.
When he crosses the street, old women throw themselves into puddles in front of him.
Cats scratch him to get a fever.And they like it.
He never needs a breath mint, because his saliva is made from drops of Retsyn. Ding.
He has molecular acid for semen.And he demands facials.
Merely by looking at a stone, he can make pieces of it fall off, leaving only a statue.
His farts do in fact smell like roses.
He can lead a horse to water and make it drink.
In matters of naughty and nice, Santa Claus defers to him.
He had a fish tattooed on his penis, for women who can't eat meat on Friday.
He once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.And then he brought him back.
Alright, that last one was pretty good.
He once impregnated Queen Elizabeth the Second. By winking at her.
He once changed his mind about something...by performing neurosurgery on himself.While blindfolded
Who is that guy?
I don't always have sex with hookers, but when I do, I prefer trannies.
Anon @ 11:44: The guy in the Dos Equis (XX) beer ad on t.v.
He knows exactly where Carmen Sandiago is, and he can touch MC Hammer whenever he chooses.He taught Michael Jackson how to moonwalk, and taught Chuck Norris how to perform the roundhouse kick.He IS what Willis was talking about.He CAN eat 50 eggs.Horses are hung like him.
Hookers pay him for some "company."And when he touches water it turns into Dos Equis.Kaiser Soze answers to him!He made your mom cum twice just by thinking about her.
He never apologizes for disparaging someone else's music.I, on the other hand, do.Sorry about the Eve 6 thing the other day, Tabi.
Ha! No worries. Thanks for the shout-out though.I'll pull the needles from my 'kanye' voodoo doll now. ;)
Dolphins pay to swim with him.
He arranged a cafeteria-style interview with M. Night Shamalamawhateverthef*ck, and was thanked and praised for his efforts.
He once guest starred on Charlie's Angels. I used to steal his cigarettes and he would let us. He'd leave his Playboy's in plain view.He is...the father of my childhood friend.
His farts make the sun shine.
He "moistens" women at fifty paces.
The Earth does in fact revolve around him.Meeting French diplomats is not "Too Gucci" for him
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