Monday, July 05, 2010

Stay Bloodthirsty, My Friends

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

I. Love. This. Guy. He is most interesting!

Thomas B said...

He once had a staring contest with a cat. After four days, he lost - and then ripped the cat's head off.

Chez said...

Oh, it's on. It is so on.

Votar? ...

VOTAR said...

He never ties his shoes.

They always lose.

VOTAR said...

He actually likes Mondays.

VOTAR said...

He has a box full of the tags he ripped off his mattresses.

And no, you aren't allowed to rummage through it.

VOTAR said...

When he crosses the street, old women throw themselves into puddles in front of him.

VOTAR said...

Cats scratch him to get a fever.

And they like it.

VOTAR said...

He never needs a breath mint, because his saliva is made from drops of Retsyn.


Ding.

Chez said...

He has molecular acid for semen.

And he demands facials.

VOTAR said...

Merely by looking at a stone, he can make pieces of it fall off, leaving only a statue.

kanye said...

His farts do in fact smell like roses.

kanye said...

He can lead a horse to water and make it drink.

kanye said...

In matters of naughty and nice, Santa Claus defers to him.

kanye said...

He had a fish tattooed on his penis, for women who can't eat meat on Friday.

kanye said...

He once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

And then he brought him back.

Chez said...

Alright, that last one was pretty good.

Master Mahan said...

He once impregnated Queen Elizabeth the Second.

By winking at her.

Deacon Blue said...

He once changed his mind about something...by performing neurosurgery on himself.

While blindfolded

Anonymous said...

Who is that guy?

Le Penseur said...

I don't always have sex with hookers, but when I do, I prefer trannies.

Benoît from Ottawa said...

Anon @ 11:44: The guy in the Dos Equis (XX) beer ad on t.v.

Tabi said...

He knows exactly where Carmen Sandiago is, and he can touch MC Hammer whenever he chooses.

He taught Michael Jackson how to moonwalk, and taught Chuck Norris how to perform the roundhouse kick.

He IS what Willis was talking about.

He CAN eat 50 eggs.

Horses are hung like him.

Thomas B said...

Hookers pay him for some "company."

And when he touches water it turns into Dos Equis.

Kaiser Soze answers to him!

He made your mom cum twice just by thinking about her.

kanye said...

He never apologizes for disparaging someone else's music.

I, on the other hand, do.

Sorry about the Eve 6 thing the other day, Tabi.

Tabi said...

Ha! No worries.

Thanks for the shout-out though.

I'll pull the needles from my 'kanye' voodoo doll now. ;)

ntx said...

Dolphins pay to swim with him.

Tabi said...

He arranged a cafeteria-style interview with M. Night Shamalamawhateverthef*ck, and was thanked and praised for his efforts.

slouchmonkey said...

He once guest starred on Charlie's Angels. I used to steal his cigarettes and he would let us. He'd leave his Playboy's in plain view.

He is...the father of my childhood friend.

liquidlen said...

His farts make the sun shine.

Benoît from Ottawa said...

He "moistens" women at fifty paces.

Colombo said...

The Earth does in fact revolve around him.

Meeting French diplomats is not "Too Gucci" for him