Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Fools of Engagement


Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Appalachian Royal Wedding.

MSNBC: Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston Say They're Engaged in Us Weekly Magazine/7.14.10

So let me get this straight: Bristol Palin basically does an entire magazine interview and cover shoot, all the while supposedly full of consternation over the fact that her mother doesn't know she and Levi Johnston are engaged -- in essence, she uses the magazine to make the announcement to her family -- and this follows last week's live, prime time LeBron James narcissism-palooza event in which he also blew off genuine human interaction in favor of going all in on an entirely artificial sideshow of bullshit.

This is the future: Creeping Surrealism has won; the reality TV world now is reality.

By the way, LeBron aside, this move truly does establish the Palin clan as the world's preeminent "real" Reality TV family. They're the kind of fully-formed meta-creation even Charlie Kaufman -- or maybe Disney -- couldn't have dreamed up. As Taibbi alluded to over the weekend, we're way beyond the looking glass now; it's only a matter of time before we have a presidential election in which the campaigning and voting take place entirely on Facebook and Twitter.

19 comments:

Maura said...

"Appalachian"? And you get paid for writing?

Chez said...

Sorry, you've got an issue?

Because I'm always glad to oblige pains in the ass.

toastie said...

Levi realized he could get a lot more money from a Mama Grizzlie bribe to zip it than by doing ads for nuts and attending the People's Choice Awards with Kathy Griffin. Or he may just really care about his kid, and this is the only way he can see him. Or I'm just over-analyzing, and Levi and Bristol are just two stupid kids who think they're in love.

It's worth saying again that we owe this crapertainment to American hero John McCain, who ought to be indicted for the torture he's inflicted on the American people.

Alanna said...

Are you kidding me here? I think I just vomited. Didn't she just spend time fighting him in the courts for full custody? What the fuck is wrong with people?

RyokoMocha, Aaron Litz said...

I'll have my vorpal sword ready, on the watch for Jabberwocks.

Anonymous said...

The kid is pretty cute. I wonder where it came from.

MJG said...

John McCain should just have done with it and replace Simon Cowell on American Idol - the circle would be complete.

Che Grovera said...

Speculating that Maura might have a geography bee in her bonnet -- anyone for an "Aleutian Royal Wedding"? Although that wouldn't be entirely geographically correct either. Fuck it.

Chez said...

I figured.

Appalachian as in state-of-mind -- not necessarily physical location.

Alanna said...

Happy trails to you...

Adrienne Saia said...

Does anyone else read his sister Mercede's blog? (that's not a typo - it's Mercede, singular) It's full of teenage whining, awkward glamour shots and just enough Palin-bashing to be entertaining.

No one? Just me? Godammit, I need a job.

Che Grovera said...

Made perfect sense to me the first time, Chez. Perhaps Maura thought you were impugning hillbillies with the association?

Anne said...

I agree with toastie, it's all about money. Mama paid off this guy to keep his silence. I knew something had to be up with the recent public apology to Palin. This whole setup was arranged by her handlers/attorney to quiet him. The picture of you and Bristol, great! Next, there will be a realty show for this couple, Keeping up with the Johnstons.

I am a saucy wench said...

the BEST part is that they're going to "wait til after they get married" to have sex! a little late for that now dontcha thing?

Ethnic Redneck said...

Can you imagine Palin running with a daughter who was a single mother? Too many weak spots for people to exploit with that. So we have this solution. I do love how they've airbrushed the Aryan miracle baby. Any more and that kid would be on a bottle of Gerbers.

Beth said...

My favorite part is where Bristol says she wants Levi to wear a camo vest at the wedding. How classy!

Chez said...

Bet there won't be one keg of Keystone Light available in all of Wasilla that night.

Jeremy said...

"Appalachian as in state-of-mind"

Yeah... you're a total dick sometimes Chez.



Now excuse me, I guess I've got a cousin and a pig to go fuck, not necessarily in that order. Or something of the sort. Uh hyuck hycuk.

Anonymous said...

I find it hysterical that Levi would rather marry into that horrible family and deal with Sarah Palin than have to go out with Kathy Griffin again. HA! Suck that Kathy!