Friday, July 02, 2010

Bonus Comment of the Week


This is one for the ages:

"I have never understood the popular/critical love affair with this hack.

The Sixth Sense was a movie where if you guessed the 'twist' during the first fifteen minutes, the rest of the movie was a tedious, crashing, awful bore. Unbreakable is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen, thanks in part to a priceless scene where Bruce Willis loses a fistfight with a pool cover, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't meant to be a comedy. I have to admit I never saw any of Shymalan's films after that--but Sense and Unbreakable were the only two to get good reviews, so what does that tell you?

So I'm a little put off by the critics seeming surprised that a crappy director has made what is apparently a crappy movie, or that they're putting this down to being part of some kind of 'streak' when, as far as I'm concerned, the 'streak' is MNS' entire oeuvre. When Robot Chicken turned random appearances of a Shymalan doll exclaiming 'What a tweeeest!' into a running gag it was probably the first time I'd seen anyone in the mass culture get it right.

The guy's a hack. An utter fucking hack.

I mean, by comparison take The Usual Suspects for a second: even when you know the tweeeest it's still a fucking incredible movie that works as a heist caper built around Gabriel Byrne's charisma and Kevin Spacey's devious performance. And a lot of it is the fact that Bryan Singer actually knows how to make a good movie, as opposed to a mediocre or even bad movie that's betting everything on the audience getting wowed in the third act by a tweeeeest that Rod Serling would've passed up unless he just had a deadline he wasn't going to make otherwise. ('Wait--I've got to write fifteen more Twilight Zone scripts by Tuesday to make the production schedule?!? Fuck it, call Dick Matheson and Chuck Beaumont and tell 'em they owe me five teleplays each while I grind out some crap about a dead guy who doesn't know he's dead... speaking of which, call those French guys who did the Owl Creek Bridge short and tell 'em we're buying the broadcast rights from 'em.')

Sorry: am I on a rant? Yes I am. Because I fucking hate M. Night Shymalan. The man is a bloody hack and his career should have ended ten years ago, and almost all the critics who are pounding Airbender now probably ought to shut up because it's at least partly their fault Unbreakable wasn't a straight-to-SciFi's-Saturday-Night-Movie release instead of a fucking feature. If they'd noticed how inept a filmmaker he was in the mid '90s maybe MNS would be drinking Sterno in a gutter already, the fucker."

-- Eric, commenting on the abysmal reviews for the new M. Night Shyamalan movie

13 comments:

Janiece said...

And now you know why Eric is a member of my non-celebrity seraglio (like there was ever any doubt).

Carol Elaine said...

Ooh, yeah, Eric. That's the stuff, babe.

(He's part of my non-celebrity seraglio, too. Luckily Janiece doesn't mind sharing.)

Janiece said...

Poor Eric - he has a large group of women who follow him around the Internet, swooning. It's like we're Eric groupies, or something.

Ahem.

Just kidding, all. Eric's a good friend, and I find his intellect attractive in a completely platonic fashion.

Eric said...

I am honored, thank you.

Deacon Blue said...

I'll still stand by "Sixth Sense" and "Unbreakable" being good movies. Great ones? No. But solid.

Sixth Sense's twist surprised me, and I often figure out twists early on in most movies. But more than that, I thought it was a moody, creepy character piece with a sort of odd father/son-like thing going.

Unbreakable, I thought, did an interesting twist on the superhero mythos, and despite some silly things, it delivered something fresh in that regard.

Since then, his movies are at best, watchable and at worst, festering shitpiles.

I do blame the media and the studios, ultimately, for this. Sixth Sense had a legit and good twist. Unbreakable had a "twist" that made sense, but was played up TOO MUCH as a twist...and so then it became expected he'd always have a twist, and that is in large part why he was allowed to continue and why he failed to have any reason to grow artistically

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with Deacon B on Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, but my daughter (age nine at the time) guessed the "tweest" in Sense almost immediately; she ended up liking the one starring Mel "burn the house down" Gibson, but I couldn't watch another M. Night movie after that. And why must he always "act" in his movies? Time to find a whole new line of work and say good Night.

Lisa said...

Thing is, I've watched "The Usual Suspects" numerous times and it seems new and interesting each time. The only thing I found in subsequent viewings of "The Sixth Sense" was that Bruce Willis' voice can be really annoying. And Mischa Barton looks horrible without makeup.

The Village really pissed me off.

FabMax said...

I'd like to add The Village to his good movies. It just suffered from bad advertising.

Thomas B said...

Well said, Eric!

Ref said...

Excuse me, but he's not a "fucking hack." He's a "pretentious, self-important fucking hack."

Kevin Davis said...

Tweeeest.... Robot Chicken reference?

And fuck you M. Night, you turned what would be the easiest source material to turn into a blockbuster into some pathetic piece of shit.

Nicely done.

Anonymous said...

The Village may have been a good movie, I didn't see it. But I knew the "tweest" from the ads!!

Capt Clown said...

So, uh... Note to self: If I'm ever being interviewed when Chez is working on the set, be cool man, be cool...