Will there be beer and strippers?
Yeah I don't know, it's always fun at first but then someone yaks in the punch bowl, furniture gets thrown into the pool, uninvited popped collar frat boy douches crash the place, someone tunes the stereo to some shitty hip hop station and cranks the volume so loud the speakers explode, your girlfriend gets too drunk and starts stripping on the kitchen counter, a fight breaks out in the bathroom, holes get punched in the drywall in your parents' bedroom even though you totally said that room was off limits, someone you don't even know has sex with his girlfriend on your bed and they knock over your CD tower all over the floor which will take days to re-organize, someone writes cuss words on your dog with fluorescent spray paint, and the cops bust everything up and you're left peeling pizza off the walls until you pass out in a pile of red plastic cups and beer bottles in the cat's litter box next to the half-empty keg.
I really can't help but think that sounds like a very happy, cheery death threat.
You know how Jesus rolls Eric: he turns water into wine and virgins into whores.
So, will they be serving Kool-Aid?
Nope, no Kool-Aid. Nothing but Jesus Juice at this party. The kids deserve nothing less than the best.
This would scare the crap out of my four year old daughter. She's just starting to learn the concept of death and its finality and she really wants to believe that death only happens when you're old. We're walking a fine line between not wanting to scare her and not wanting to lie to her. Having someone teach her that "heaven" (aka, death) could come at anytime would cause an endless loop of repetitive questions, interspersed with bouts of crying and whimpering, that would go on for days.
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