Saturday, May 15, 2010

Cosmos at the Allah Hu Ak-Bar


Despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to ignore the fact that Sex and the City 2: Postmenopausal will be exploding into theaters on a wave of needy girl excitement later this month.

There's already been an amusing little controversy over just how extensively the four leads had to be airbrushed to make them appear even mildly palatable in the movie's posters and ads, given that they're all well into their 70s by now and one of them is a horse. But lately, after paying a little more attention to the commercials for this thing, I've noticed that there seems to be something else at work in the film that pushes the suspension of disbelief well beyond the breaking point.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a major plot point in the Sex and the City sequel that our plucky heroines jet off to Abu-Dhabi for a "girl's" vacation?

It's true, yeah?

So let's see if I've got this right: Four sexually liberated American women, at least one of whom openly brags about how she drinks semen for breakfast -- whose entire ethos, at least in theory, is rooted in the modern metropolitan woman's refusal to render herself subservient to the tradition of male superiority -- these four "girls" decide they're gonna take their act to an Arab country.

You know, if this movie had anything even approaching a realistic ending, I'd be the first in line to see it.

Oh, and if somebody could please make the obvious joke about Lawrence of Arabia "riding" Carrie -- that'd be gold.

16 comments:

SteveR said...

"Hut, hut, HUT!"

xeno said...

Someone should tell America the horse has a name now...

toastie said...

Bea Arthur and friends did what could be Sex and the City 3 for TV Land a few years back. Caution: Sally Struthers alert.

Doc said...

Ishtar 2? Or a rehash of the Absolutely Fabulous episode where they go to Morocco?

The product placement is insane. Emirates must be paying a fortune to be featured in the movie. christ, they show their first class seats in the commercial.

David said...

I'll just leave this here:

http://i.imgur.com/dtSIf.jpg

Anonymous said...

They had to film this in Morocco - for obvious reasons. It's too bad they didn't actually try to go to Abu-Dhabi, the dress code would have done us all a favor.

VirginiaO'Possum said...

Writer/director Michael Patrick King said on The Daily Show last week that it actually had to be shot in Morocco because the Emirates wouldn't have them.
The poster you linked to isn't even airbrushed -- it's a painting. I guess even Photoshop couldn't achieve the kind of distortion required to promote this thing.

Alanna said...

These "ladies" are about as relevant as a Commodore 64.

Enough already.

Roket said...

Sounds about as authentic as Joe the Plumber. He's waiting in the wings.

Ref said...

I don't share your SJP hatred/fixation, but I think Xeno wins the prize on this one.

Zoe said...

Oddly the Abu Dhabs government wouldn't let them film here...can't for the life of me think why...it's been ages since we've had spoilt Americans knocking around town acting like they own the place. And Paris Hilton was SUCH a hit when she was here.

Not.

Vermillion said...

Yeah, I don't understand why it was so important that they SAY it was Abu Dhabi...when the filmed in the perfectly-fine-for-the-purpose Morocco.

Of course, if there is supposed to be some in-joke or something...I wouldn't know it.

And I would still happily lay pipe in Kristin Davis. If I held every actress I fantasized about accountable for every bad movie/show/whatever they made, I would be a really miserable bastard.

*looks around DXM* Hmmm....

Pea said...

I know this makes me kind of crazy, and a total glutton for punishment, but I'm actually going to go see this. I just can't quite believe that it can possibly be as bad as it looks from the previews.

(I'm wilfully ignoring the fact that the first one made me want to stab my eyes out and pour boiling lye in my ears.)

If I end up spontaneously combusting from shame halfway through the movie, tell my husband to scatter my ashes at the cottage.

Mr. Controversy said...

It's kinda redundant to have a camel when you have a horse to ride across the dessert. I'm just saying.

Also, I think they should change the music in the trailer...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUl9_5kK9ts

medic1 said...

yeah...well..i remember a story about someone banging the college arab friendship club...so there is hope for this film. at least you know how the porn remake will be.

d-rap said...

Just got back from a "special screening" of the movie. And, I thought of the Deus:

'Oh, and if somebody could please make the obvious joke about Lawrence of Arabia "riding" Carrie -- that'd be gold.'

Minimal SPOILER ALERT: pretty close. It was actually, "Lawrence of my LABIA". Good times...

That said, if it weren't for my *free* passes to the *special* screening, I would've waited for Netflix. I love/adore/love the girls. But this was very overwhelming "suspension of disbelief".