Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Thinking Outside the Inbox

Yet another entry in our ongoing series which brings just some of the PR-firm junk e-mail I regularly get to you, the readers.

"Dear Chez:

In response to Spirit Airlines’ implementation of carry on baggage fees, my client, the American Association for Nude Recreation, is weighing in with the following comments...

Traveling with luggage is an ever-increasing inconvenience and expense - even if you don’t check your bag - as airlines are now beginning to charge even for that, as evidenced by Spirit Airline’s $45 carry on fee.

According to the American Association for Nude Recreation's executive director, Erich Schuttauf, 'To avoid added baggage stress as you embark upon a vacation, whose purpose is to de-stress and rejuvenate you, plan a Nakation – a vacation to a nudist resort! All you’ll need for the week (sunscreen, cap, sunglasses, shoes and toiletries) can fit in a small carry on that will fit under the seat, avoiding even carry on bag fees. So avoid the hassles of security screening bag issues, worries over lost belongings because you can’t lock your luggage to protect checked valuables. And the fact that overhead compartments never seem large enough for carry on roller bags. Take a Nakation.'

The American Association of Nude Recreation has over 250 member clubs, resorts, campgrounds and RV parks from which to choose for your Nakation.

Adds Schuttauf, 'If more air travelers take a stand and a Nakation in 2010, it could send a message to the airlines using checked and unchecked baggage fees as a way to charge the vacationing masses more money in this tight economy.'

Thank you for your consideration of this topic, on behalf of the American Association for Nude Recreation.

Best regards,


And now, my response:

Nope. I got nothin'.


Alanna said...

How badly would I wish to see either a Seinfeld or Curb episode where Larry on a flight back to LA + sitting in the aisle seat, meets someone, sitting in the center seat, who is going on a "Nakation". Cut to 2 hours into flight, "Nakation" passenger is female, attractive and taps on Larry's shoulder to get by him to use the airplane restroom. Of course, Larry awkwardly swings his legs out instead of getting up so female passenger is faced with the old "Do I nudge by him crotch-front or ass-front?" - she goes crotch-front and we see Larry staring at her crotch then a fade out to him fantasizing her "Nakation"...fade back in to female passenger staring at Larry staring at her crotch. Enter theme music.

Ok, Im bored, leave me alone. ;)

Vermillion said...

So...the Nigerians have changed tactics?

Alanna said...

And, seriously, what is the occupation listed on the 1040 of the American Association for Nude Recreation's executive director, Erich Schuttauf?

Austin said...

Yes, but that's a lot of sunscreen to take in a "personal item", unless you can buy it at your destination.

ntx said...

Let's take it one step further:

First All-Nude Flight From Miami Makes History

Jester said...

I call BS.

You made that whole e-mail up. Right? Right? ;-)

Southern Fried Fatty said...

I'm not gonna lie. It makes sense to me. I'm not sure if anyone would want to see a person who calls herself Southern Fried Fatty nude though. However, not having to pay for my luggage will offset the extra price I will have to pay for my ticket because I'm fat.

CNNfan said...


Crotch-front, ass-front staring at her. Bless you soul... Ha, ha... Ha! You are so funny, even on the rare occasion when you say you are bored.

I didn't see that episode. Thanks for sharing.
What's a Nakation?

Garth said...


Capitalize! Coming Fall 2010 - The First Annual DXM Nacation!

"All proceeds go towards Chez, eye bleach, Everclear, and black-market penicillin. Sign up in the next 48 hours and you'll be entered to win 3 days 2 nights in the Valtrex Lohan-Hilton Suite"

I'm sure there's a Snooki joke in there somewhere too, just too tired to find it. Hoping Votar finds it and posts.

Alanna said...

I dont think it was in an episode...but it should be. I was thinking the line from Fight Club -
Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? - Tyler Durden

Does someone on a Nakation think of such things?

motheralex said...

This Bud Light is for you, Mr.Nudist colony activity coordinator.

CNNfan said...

Alanna you get ★★★★★

How about a question of netiquette:
Does someone blogging naked think of such things?

Chez' response, "Nope. I got nothin'."

You meant, Nope you got nothing on while blogging... Didn't you?

Just joking.