Thursday, April 01, 2010
The Spy Who Shoved Me
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Unless of course you're a tea bagger, in which case the shortest distance between two points is a complex conspiracy engineered by your political adversaries, obviously.
It only makes sense that the tea bagging army wouldn't understand the concept of Occam's Razor, being that a razor is, you know, sharp. So with that in mind, let's just throw it out to the masses: What's more likely, that there are some within the tea bagger ranks (exactly how many isn't the issue) who are rotten, callous, racist sons-of-bitches -- or that the people who've been caught on camera and by reporters taunting a sick man, shouting "nigger" and "faggot" at U.S. lawmakers and spitting on one particular black congressman, and preaching armed revolution and generally violent behavior are, in fact, enemy double agents working to embarrass the Tea Party's good name?
This latter theory, as dubious and potentially detached from reality as it is, has been bandied about on the right for the past few weeks -- but now professed libertarian Lew Rockwell has decided to get in on the action:
"Recent Tea Party people who allegedly denounced a Parkinson’s patient or spat at gay and black congressmen might well have been agents. Offensive signs might be Made in DC too. Next might come calls for violence by alleged Tea Party types, and perhaps acts, which can be used to suppress dissent. Peaceful resistance is not only right, it is all that works, unless you are with the state. If anyone urges the use of violence, the state’s characteristic action, he is probably an agent."
Rockwell is a fan of Ron Paul -- which should surprise no one since he's obviously willing to buy into outlandish conspiracist nonsense without a shred of evidence.
As for the theory that the baggers' rabble are actually left-wing moles, Cesca has a good take on that: "And they might also have a tiny alien pilot in their heads. The galaxy is on Orion's belt! Look for a small marble or a jewel!"
Sure it's outright mockery -- but does this kind of thinking really deserve anything else?