Thursday, March 25, 2010

Her Mind Is Aglow with Whirling, Transient Nodes of Thought Careening Through a Cosmic Vapor of Invention

You know, I have to admit, I sat up pretty late last night trying to come up with something clever to do with this item.

I thought maybe I'd do a "Hannah Giles Orders Take-Out Chinese" theme, which would feature the bikini-clad Princess Leia to Andrew Breitbart's Jabba the Hutt -- Hannah Giles -- using all sorts of flowery metaphors and generally ostentatious vocabulary in the pursuit of the most mundane of tasks. Or maybe a fake ad for the "Hannah Giles School of Creative Writing," which would ostensibly offer to teach the neophyte the kind of poetic mastery of the English language that Hannah makes seem so effortless.

But it was Simon Owens over at Bloggasm who made me realize that you really can't beat up on Hannah Giles and feel good about it. She's just a dumb kid who got in way over her head. Yeah, she played an all-too-willing role in pretend provocateur James O'Keefe's ridiculous "take down" of ACORN -- a toothless non-profit that could barely afford to keep its fucking lights on, much less act as some sort of left-wing mafia enforcer; and sure, she really seemed to enjoy riding the wave and bathing in all the warm encomia from the right that followed her and Jimmy's little sting. But in the end, what the conservative media did to her was, ironically, what you'd expect to see done to the character she played in the now famous videos. They used her -- like a prostitute. Everybody did, to some extent.

So no, I'm not gonna pile on. That said, she does at least deserve to have the piece she penned for Breitbart's Big Journalism site regarding the dismantling of ACORN as a national organization -- her humorously florid pep talk to Right America about the need to keep fighting the good fight -- circulated far and wide. It's, well -- colorful.

Here's a chunk of it:

"Let me tell you something: If you know what is right, if you know what is pure, and if you can but for a second imagine attaining and sharing those things, then you must will all your power seek it out. If you do not, then the memory of that moment you imagined will forever itch inside your head and ache inside your heart until you are ruled by fear and tormented by regret...

We live in a quick cruel world that demands we bolt out of dreamland and wipe nostalgia’s sweet kisses away. Principles and beliefs are ageless only so long as those who possess them see to it they are not forgotten. Societies will always tend towards all things bad if the powers-at-be do not lead wisely and are not held accountable by the people.

The future is a blank canvas, a giant glowing question mark held in place by eternity. This is something that would send most people into a tailspin of wonder ,anxiety and fear. But to others, this makes life a bit simpler, an unknown future ought allow us to fully operate and thoroughly enjoy the present moment.

Challenge: take a step back and look at life on the Grand Scale. We are but specks of dust, here today gone tomorrow. What kind of spec are you going to be: The kind that gets swept under the rug? Or the mote that flies into the eye of deceit, threatening to agitate it beyond repair and forcing it to submit to truths brutally thorough cleansings?"

So, yeah. See, here I am -- not piling on at all.

Incidentally, the responses to the piece in the comment section are what you might expect:

"This lady can write. This has to be some of the most profoundly stirring prose I've read in some time."

-- impeach them all

"Great writing Hannah! You are truly an inspiration to me! I'll do what I can to be that "fly in the eye of deceit" from this end. I know you'll hold up yours! God bless you. God bless James. I have every confidence that we will win this war against this President of 'God damn America' Barack Hussein Obama and his comrades who are trying to enact a coup d'etat on America. Darkness is always overcome by the light."

-- Once always a marine

And with that, I'm doing what anyone in my position would do -- taking my laptop outside and ceremonially setting it on fire. Just not sure I'll ever be able to reach the lofty standards set by Cormac Giles there, so I don't see why I should even bother anymore.

Wait, does that count as piling on?


J. Dack said...

That reads like something an eight-grade English teacher would put a gold star on, encouraging the student to start down a road ending in four-hour shifts cleaning the grease traps at a Burger King.

Lou said...

Did Bill & Ted pay her a visit? "All we are is dust in the wind, dude."

VOTAR said...

...yeah, I've got some warm encomia she can bathe in.


But seriously, I read it twice and still I have no idea what it said. It reads like something a guy wearing a bowtie and handlebar mustache reads to a woman in a hoop dress holding a parasol on the porch of a summer cottage, circa 1900.

Amii said...

WTF? The spelling and grammar errors were the best part.

Alanna said...

Hurrah for FIU's creative writing class 101!
Must have been an adjunct professor.

ETA: VOTAR! I love you.

Chez said...

Now, now. It's obvious you're just an over-educated liberal elitist who concerns herself with unimportant things like spelling and grammar. What Hannah wrote is from the heart -- like when Sarah Palin speaks from her heart -- and that's all that matters.

Although if I were Hannah, I wouldn't have dropped out of FSU. I think she had a few classes left to take.

Anonymous said...

My IQ just dropped a least 20 points. Now I can live in the deep, stupid south where the average IQ is borderline retarded.

Vote Republican!

kanye said...

This reminds me of one of those commercials for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Only, instead of chocolate and peanut butter, the two people who collide are carrying copies of Atlas Shrugged and Mein Kampf:

"You got Hitler on my Ayn Rand!"

"Oh yeah...well you got Ayn Rand in my Hitler!!"

Sprinkle on a bit of fairy dust and sunshine, send the whole mess through Seth Brundle's transporter, et voilà---Hannah Giles: Conservative Supastah!!!

aaron said...

Doesn't Sarah Palin speak from her hand?

I'd complete the Blazing Saddles reference with a phrase about using one's tongue purdier than a $20 whore, but that would be too blatant and maybe a tad on the nose..

Izar Talon said...

Wait a minute, Sarah Palin speaks from her heart? I thought she spoke from her hand?

(drum roll)

Back on track: I love the line "Societies will always tend towards all things bad if the powers-at-be do not lead wisely."

Gotta watch out for those powers-AT-be.

I ESPECIALLY love this:

"The future is a blank canvas, a giant glowing question mark held in place by eternity. This is something that would send most people into a tailspin of wonder ,anxiety and fear."*

I wonder just WHO those people could be that are sent into a "tailspin of wonder ,anxiety and fear" by thoughts of the future? Would it be the people who do their best to make historic, ground-breaking reforms to an outdated system, giving their best effort to change things that don't work, and looking forward to the future with hope?

Or would it be the people who do their very best to STOP those reforms, people who cling to the past, doing their best to maintain racist, sexist, and outdated values, who look to the past with reverence and who's stated mission is to maintain the status quo; people who's fear of the future and change is the very basis of their entire belief system?.

Is she even aware of the inherent contradiction in what she wrote? Or is tat crediting her with too much intelligence? Decrying a world that forces us to "wipe nostalgia’s sweet kisses away" while simultaneously putting down those people who are full of "wonder ,anxiety and fear" for the future?

Yeah, she's a perfect poster-child for the Right.

Benoît from Ottawa said...

Her text should be read in the tones of the "This is for You, GSJBDBVCAS Man" ads of some time back, for Bud Lite I think they were.

Also, the following ("Or the mote that flies into the eye of deceit, threatening to agitate it beyond repair and forcing it to submit to truths brutally thorough cleansings?") would absolutely MAKE a mote's resume. Motes don't usually play such an important part in the affairs of the universe.

Usually, they just make up dust bunnies.

Benoît from Ottawa said...

Strikes me the problem really is that many, many uneductaed people have access to media now.

Pretzel logic and, worse, feelingy statements are everything on this tabloid web!

And as an uneducated person, you probably feel all the more right due to your situation. You're not limited by the consideration of valid, but contradictory, arguments of others.

Sigh. The net sShould require a thinking licence.

Anonymous said...

I did not know she is a college dropout, that is just fucking awesome.

Awesome blazing saddles reference too.

byroniceye said...

And who can forget her classic response to Max Blumenthal's Acorn "minstrel show" comment?

That about sums her up I think.

Sheriff Bart said...

You had me at the title, man. You had me at the title.

Ethnic Redneck said...

It's pretty much the hippie approach to politics - it's all feelings and no actual content or fact. Yeah, I called a conservative a hippie. At this point, the titles of liberal and conservative are secondary to someone's politics.

The real divide is between progressives (those willing to use the system to institute change and risk being on the losing side) and obstructionists (people who only want to win their particular fight and will stand in the way of everything else.) I think the obstructionists are based mostly in fear of change, even though, much like their arguments, there aren't any facts to justify them.

Anonymous said...

It's be a great valedictorian graduation speech.

Anonymous said...

Golly, Ms Giles, you use your tongue prettier 'n a twenny dollar whore!

Anonymous said...