Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Bonus Quote of the Day


"The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, 'If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.' The Bible is pretty black and white... I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that's a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life."

-- 23-year-old Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley


And here we go again.

By the way, the quote was given to a regular column on Fox News's website called "Pop Tarts."

(Update: But enough of that kind of talk. Let's be juvenile and just make fun of the fact that she's really unattractive for a beauty pageant winner.)

32 comments:

Bill White said...

Amen, Lauren. Now, your career is probably over since Hollyweird will lynch you for not being politically correct. It's brave of you to stand up for Real America's values. For that, you're invited over for our official Prayer and Pie. This is where we get together and pray for good folk like us to take our country back from the seculars. You see, Lauren, I'm on a crusade to save America and when Hollyweird fires you, I would like for you to jump in my 150 and come along on my tour.

BurtCarter said...

I would still do her.

Although if she asked me to screw her brains out it wouldn't require much effort on my part.

Anonymous said...

he's YOUR god, they're YOUR rules....YOU burn in HELL.

Jeni said...

Quoting Leviticus as an example of a modern, sane way to live your life? Oh man, that chick's going to get eaten alive.

Anonymous said...

Someone needs to explain to that dim bulb about context, history, etc.

The Bible also supported slavery. Context.

Anonymous said...

Looks like she got the looks and extra helpings of stupid.

Alanna said...

I especially enjoy "and he knows more that we do about life!"

defense has no cross-examination, here. That's sufficient evidence, right there. :/

RottweilerTOM said...

Bill, I like your choice of word:

lynch.

(and I think she's been on your tour already)

Anonymous said...

Chez just did this so he could post as The Onion's Bill White (aka B-WOW).

Look at how quickly Bill's post was up. Just enough delay so as to look "real".

Spencer said...

Since she keeps to Leviticus, does she also burn doves after her period? (15:29) I hope she doesn't have any piercings or tattoos (19:28). Does she support the death penalty for adultery (including rape victims)? (20:10) How about insulting her parents? (20:9) Has she ever had sex on her period? If so, she needs to be shunned (20:18) And let's not forget slavery (25:44-46). I could go on forever. You can't claim a source as infallible then pick and choose which parts you want to follow.

Chez said...

Thank you, President Bartlet.

cgwalt said...

Oh dear, the stupid is sooo loud. Ouch.

Jen said...

and countdown to pictures of her making out with another girl popping up in the press in 3... 2...

Fred said...

I'll bet right after that she went over to a pageant judge's home and showed how she can suck a golf ball though 10 feet of garden hose.

BurtCarter said...

Alright Chez, that updated picture did it. I retract the part about how I would still do her.

Since she is a total moron, I would just buy a cheap knockoff diamond engagement ring, give it to her and tell her to start acting like Hilary Duff.

Heather said...

I bet she believes in Pillow-pants too...

Deacon Blue said...

Jen, the great thing is she CAN make out with a girl.

If it's the Leviticus passage I recall, it's very specific.

It says men can't do other men

It says men can't do animals

And then it specifically says women can't do animals either.

But it says nothing about women on women.

So, let the Lauren Ashley girl-orgy begin!

Deacon Blue said...

Anonymous said...

Chez just did this so he could post as The Onion's Bill White (aka B-WOW).

Look at how quickly Bill's post was up. Just enough delay so as to look "real".

***************

Wow! 40 minutes later! That's suspicious. No way Bill could have read the post and commented in that time frame.

Now, if Bill was the first poster MOST of the time, you might have a case. But he's not.

RottweilerTOM said...

And the joke continues:

Lauren Ashley, a Miss California USA contestant and outspoken opponent of same-sex marriage, claims Beverly Hills as the city she represents. Beverly Hills lays no claim to her whatsoever.

Quite the opposite. In a statement Wednesday, the city said it was shocked by Ashley's description of herself as "Miss Beverly Hills." The city "does not sponsor a beauty pageant and has no association with Miss California USA," the statement said. "As such, there should be no individual claiming the title of Miss Beverly Hills."

The city's statement said Ashley lives in Pasadena and "does not represent Beverly Hills in any capacity."

We are dismayed by any potential association with the city of Beverly Hills, which has a long history of tolerance and respect," Mayor Nancy Krasne said.

kanye said...

I looked at the pics on the other site that you linked.

"RED HOTS!!! Get yer RED HOTS here! RED HOTS!!!"

Sheriff Bart said...

@RottweilerTOM

That would be more funny with a source attached.

Anonymous said...

Ironically enough according to the bible women should be seen and not heard.

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
1 Timothy 2:11-12

And that's nicer more family friendly New Testament too. Not the fire and brimstone Old Testament.

Doc said...

pffft...we laugh now but she'll be on Fox & Friends next week, a book deal in a month, CPAC in 2011 and Governor of Alaska in 2020.

C Riedel-de Haen said...

Exactly who does this fat chick think she is? What is she, anyway, like a 16?

I have plenty of female friends who are big girls --except they don't parade their lard around for all to see. They are DIGNIFIED, see?

I don't give a flying fuck about her believing in an imaginary friend, or quoting the old testament like she knows what she is talking about.

No, her real sin is being a fattie pretending not to be a fattie and participating in "beauty" contests.

Lose about 15 lbs, sweetcheeks, then we may talk.

Alex said...

And of course after this she clarified for everyone that she has plenty of gay friends.......who she..thinks should be put to death?

RottweilerTOM said...

@Sheriff Bart:

Why? I think it was Highlights for Kids Magazine.

Ref said...

Does she eat shrimp?

Narbe said...

Anonymous (@ 2:10 PM) said...

"he's YOUR god, they're YOUR rules....YOU burn in HELL."

That is my favorite response to these idiots.

Anonymous said...

umm..she first lies about Miss Beverly Hills..there is no such thing...so shes republican there..lie first and let the sheep believe even if its not true...religion has been and always will be a scam created by MAN...MAN wrote the bible, MAN started religion...once people realize that they dont even trust their neighbors, maybe they can see that any bible is just stories to teach people to live right....just a bunch of stories, there is nothing biblical about it....sheep sheep sheep...

Anonymous said...

The Bible is as factual as "A Million Little Pieces".

Anonymous said...

One look at that picture and you know she couldn't possibly have won a well-known beauty pageant in Beverly Hills.

em said...

That's what she looks like when she leaves the house? I'm neither famous nor a beauty queen, and I'm more on t-shirt and jeans side of clothing options, and even I take more care to not leave the house looking like that. Then again, I'm cuter than her anyway, so...yeah.