Wednesday, January 27, 2010


What do you get when you combine a groveling, cultlike devotion to every little thing Steve Jobs leaves in the toilet in the morning with the instantaneous worldwide communication network provided by Twitter?

An outpouring of mass, real-time techno-worship like nothing you've ever seen.

Honestly, it's kind of terrifying.

Go here to experience it.

By the way, if you get in line and wait out in the cold to buy this thing, you're a fucking idiot. You'd be an idiot regardless, but you're definitely one for buying a first generation Apple product -- because what have we learned about every one of those over the past several years?


Shannon from Saskatoon said...

Fanaticism is "uncritical zeal" and "obsessive enthusiasm" according to Wikipedia. According to me it is acting like a horse's ass and enjoying the association with others of the same persuasion.

From one bright light to another, the easily impressed flit, alight, twitter, and dirty up the place they occupy just before they move on to the next stimulus.

This is never going to be an endangered behavior, and there isn't any technology that Lord Jobs can create to eliminate it. Sigh. Waiter, another scotch, please.

Anonymous said...

Bitter much? Wow Chez. Did you get violated by someone at Apple?

Yes, people like these are scary. Downright scary.

First gen isn't always bad for Apple, but I'd still wait a little and see what happens.

Early adopters will get it, and they better have the resources or they will soon go broke. These are some of the same people bought the first flatscreen, first DVD player, etc.

Apple is one of those companies that I give the benefit of the doubt to on new products. There are others.

That said, as soon as you open that cutting edge electronic gadget, it's out of date.

Other than joining the Amish or becoming a Luddite, it's part of the game.

Jester said...

$600. For a 10" screen, a 1GHz processor, 32GB of solid-state storage, and wireless capability. You can browse websites on it, and do e-mail, play a simple game, maybe even work on a document.

Hey Steve? That's called a netbook. It really is. Those have been out for a while now. And they sell for $300, NOT $600.

I can usually see what Apple is doing, and usually their products do a good job of pulling together a lot of disparate elements into a single integrated, well-designed product.

But this is not one of those times.

Chez said...

Who dares to question the Great and Powerful Jobs???

revmuddswife said...

The real question is whom is upstaging whom, Steve or Obama?

GuanoLoco said...

I can see it appealing to a casual consumer market, sitting on a coffee table and impressing the hell out of those vaguely familiar with "the internets" and in that sense it will do well.

I trust that it will grow and improve with each generation and get cheaper until it does become a much sleeker netbook alternative.

With that said, I'll let others fund those improvements until I can plunk down $200 for one as my haul-around internet portal.

Alanna said...

Ihavenothingspecialthisyearfortechnologyyousheep = fail.

And this would explain the reasons it's difficult to fall in line with loving Apple.

CNNfan said...

@Shannon from Saskatoon:


Sheriff Bart said...

I honestly thought that was a picture of Grand Moff Tarkin.

Tod said...

Had Apple looked at Pixel Qi reflective LCD screens they might have had a winner. Had they enabled flash, they might have had a winner. I think they may have actually out hyped themselves on this one.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking the same thing Jester... netbook with a touch pad. Cool - but not worthy of its own category in computer technology.

And ditto to Chez. First thing I said? I wonder how long I'll have to wait for the second gen?

Anonymous said...

Worse yet, is AT&T's already overloaded and poorly supported network. Cant wait to see how many early adopters are choking the network. AT&T has already claimed their 7.2 HSPA (Whatever the acronym is) is up and running but they've been very quiet about how their backhaul cant support it as of yet which translates into:

AT&T STILL blows goats.

Anonymous said...

Oh, So quick to mock and judge.

As an "author," you forget that it does one thing that no other "e-book" reader can, that is, it's display in color for photos in books and magazines. Kindles and the like are not just revolutionary devices, but imagine the impact these have on our environment... at the very least in saving our trees.

I do agree however that if you wait in line for it, you are an idiot.


BTW, if you (anyone) think Jobs actually had anything to do with it, from idea to design, you are an even bigger idiot. He's only a figurehead pitchman... The Billy Mays of electronics, without the benefit of Coke.

Jester said...

Just to make things really clear, this ain't exactly a dream device.

* No webcam. Every netbook on Earth has one of these, along with a microphone. No Skype from the iPad.

* No Flash support. No Youtube or Hulu from the iPad, either. No playing web Flash games.

* No multitasking. No listening to music while reading on the iPad. Pick one or the other.

This is not the next iPhone. This is the next Apple TV. A $600 sub-par netbook with no basic netbook features, in this economy, is going to land with a very loud thud. It's going to need a major software update and a $150 price cut to be remotely useful for its intended purpose.

Deacon Blue said...

Say what you will about us Christians (and you're often right, btw), but at least amongst the zealotry we founded some mighty fine schools (K-through-postgrad), some nice hospitals, the YMCA, YWCA, and Salvation Army.

As much as I love Apple (well, Macs anyway), they really just create rampant spending.

Yeah, yeah, I know...Christians have collection plates, but at least that's self-determined prices.

SteveR said...

It's just a big iPod Touch.

Anonymous said...

The iPad has potential, but this 1st generation release is an imperfect first try. And this is all part of Apple's brilliant long-term strategy.

People: Apple does this every single time. Remember the first iPod back in 2001? It was a clumsy-looking device that held only five gigabytes of music. Look how that turned out for Apple -- 250 million iPods later. The 1st generation iPhone was a great device, but most critics complained about missing elements back then too. Now, the iPhone is growing in demand every single quarter based on improvements, changes and technological advances.

It's actually a truly inspired strategy: let the early adopters spend buckets of cash on an imperfect first generation device. The relative obscurity of the device among consumers creates an object fetish-cool factor that cannot be replicated by marketing efforts. The more people see it, the more people want it. And the more people want it, the more incentives Apple has to increase the quality of the product.

I can virtually guarantee that next year's 2nd generation iPad will be a massive improvement over this year's first go. Apple has an economic incentive to do so.

Don't buy this first round.

Kristen said...

Next year, the iDouche?

Anonymous said...

No, the iBrator.

Anonymous said...

i was going to buy Dead Star Twilight, but I'm waiting for the second edition!!

Anonymous said...

Interesting comments. As a software developer on just about every you could name, I have a different perspective to share.

The iPad is a very smart business move for Apple. It's carrier agnostic which gives Apple the freedom to sell it to anyone. It runs over 100,000 apps which you can buy for an average of about a buck (1000 of these are pretty amazing, the other 99,000 aren't worth more than a buck). And they give developers (like myself) incredible tools and the ability to make money. I've made nearly 100K so far and I'm just getting started. I applaud Apple for their amazing contribution to society as a leader in innovation.

BTW - 2nd gen is always better with everything. But, I'll be one of those that buys the first gen. I did with the iPhone and the MacBook Pro and I'm very happy that I did.

BTW2 - AT&T is the best b2b telco around. Verizon has you all brainwashed. Anyone that has worked with VZW knows how horrible they are to deal with. They represent wall gardened systems vs. free enterprise like AT&T.

People love to bash big companies so they can feel that they fit in with other naysayers. Complaining is America's favorite pass time. But, Apple never hurt anyone. They don't have a monopoly or force people to buy products they don't want. If you don't like Apple products, then who cares? If you don't get why their products are so great, then don't buy them.

Trail In Progress said...

No Kristen-Next year, iPlug.

Anonymous said...

Well...thing is with Apple products, they are usually outfitted well. Whereas a PC is not, so it is cheaper. Similarly equipped PC's and Macs are not much difference in price.

Apparently, while the iPad has some flaws, it's still going to be way better than a netbook.

I'm not getting one until they fix those flaws.

It pays to be informed.

greenveldt said...

Almost everything that Apple has come out with has already been done.

I don't get why people go crazy for Apple stuff.