Monday, January 18, 2010

Bonus Quote of the Day


"Although it is true that Haiti was just, like, five minutes ago a victim of a random earthquake that killed tens of thousands of people, I’m going to skip right past the fake mourning period and point out that Haitians are a bunch of lazy niggers who can’t keep their dongs in their pants and probably wouldn’t be pancaked under fifty tons of rubble if they had spent a little more time over the years listening to the clarion call of white progress, and learning to use a freaking T-square, instead of singing and dancing and dabbling in not-entirely-Christian religions and making babies all the fucking time. I know I’m supposed to respect other cultures and keep my mouth shut about this stuff, but my penis is only four and a third inches long when fully engorged and so I’m kind of at the end of my patience just generally, especially when it comes to 'progress-resistant' cultures."

-- Matt Taibbi "translating" David Brooks's comically elitist column on the Haitian earthquake aftermath and what it tells us about Haiti in general

And people say I gleefully blast gaping holes in propriety. That ticking sound you hear is both the bomb Taibbi just armed and the countdown to David Brooks demanding a formal apology.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like Taibbi's version better.

Brooks is just too dry for me, and I think he actually believes what he's saying.

Bill White said...

What's wrong with 4 1/3? That wrench actually does better than my clumsy 16 -- just sayin' Chez.

Mart said...

Recently re-read Taibbi's Rolling Stone screed from last September titled "Sick and Wrong". There should be a Pulitzer Prize for the nearly 100% accuracy of how he predicted the Prez & Congress would end up screwing the voters and gifting health insurance and big pharma.

Anonymous said...

This little drip from Taibbi's drool doesn't even come close to the standard he set with the "52 Funny Things." The fungus on his brain must have eaten all the way through.

Chez said...

Yeah, the dead pope piece is a classic. Both Clinton and Schumer demanded that he be fired and if I remember correctly it really did cost his editor his job.

I am not Star Jones said...

David Brooks is a sad mean myopic little man. Taibbi gave him what he deserved.

Peach said...

Gah. Every single time I hear some middle class asshole talking about 'the impact of colonialism' as not a big deal...I get an urge to build a time machine. Build a time machine and shove them into it, magically transporting them to the Belgian Congo or French Haiti.

Colonialism in America was demanding taxes from you guys that you didn't want to pay. The occasional rude guest you had to harbor. So you revolted. Congrats.

But Colonialism in other countries (read: non white countries) usually involved physical mutilations, systematic rape, a stripping of personal culture and mass murder on the level of Genocide. In the Congo they had forced labor camps the size of small countries where 10 million men, women and children were slaughtered. Haitians dealt with a similar destruction of culture and a leeching of resources.

And it's not actually all that clear cut and simple when trying to recover from that. The very fact that Haiti kicked the French (and the US) out is enough to make you want to cheer them on.

And while I may agree that AID isn't going to save the world, I don't think aid during times of normalcy even comes close to equating with aid during times of disaster. To compare the two is apples and oranges. And in this case, only detrimental to the poorest of us all. Not that Mr Brook's particularly cares.

Anonymous said...

Usually I love your blog, but the fact that you agreed with Tiabbi on this one was really disappointing to see. As a development student, Brooks' arguments about foreign aid and development are spot-on. The timing may seem insensitive, but I can see his intent to bring attention to this issue while it is in the spotlight. Aid has done more damage than good in the Third World, and Tiabbi appears an ignorant fool for discounting the writer's valid arguments. For three and a half years in a university international development program, I have been taught the countless ways in which the current foreign aid system has failed its recipients. Just because the timing of Brooks' article is unfortunate, that does not make his points any less valid. This is a serious issue that should not be diminished to a few easy penis jokes - it only makes Tiabbi (whom I was formerly a fan of) appear that much more ignorant.

Chez said...

Now see, that's slightly baffling. I realize this is a trivial concern, but you left a pretty smart comment there. I don't agree with it at all, but at least you've largely thought it through -- and yet you chose not to put a name on it and take credit for it. Strange.