Thursday, December 10, 2009
Shit to Shore
I could watch this all day. Like, seriously, every minute of the day. I'm trying to get the GPS on my Blackberry to run this in a loop so that even while getting directions in my car I'll never miss a second of Snooki, the "Princess of Poughkeepsie," getting clocked in the face by some 'roid raged Guido who goes off on her like he was the Manchurian Candidate and there's a big Queen of Diamonds on her Ed Hardy hat.
As much as I hate reality TV, there's just no denying that MTV's Jersey Shore is special. It honest-to-God represents the final mile marker on the road to the end of Western civilization -- the nadir of the American empire and maybe the darkest hour of humanity itself. If this were Battlestar Galactica, the Cylons would nuke us all tomorrow morning just because of what Jersey Shore proves we've become: an irredeemably corrupt and immoral species that no longer deserves to live.
So, hey, kudos to you, MTV. You actually managed to somehow up the ante and find a group of people to build a show around even more subhumanly reprehensible than the cast of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.