Wednesday, December 09, 2009

The Dope Show

Although I can't say I'm a huge fan of L.A.'s perennially motor-mouthed critic-at-large Sam Rubin -- and this little rant does beg the question of why that idiot Perez Hilton was booked in the first place if he's such a "talentless dope" -- this is still all kinds of entertaining.

The Huffington Post: KTLA Anchor Slams Perez Hilton/12.8.09

For the record, I do think the one thing we can all agree on as a nation -- quite possibly the only subject that's immune to party, cultural and racial differences -- is the need for us to immediately come together and kick the living shit out of Perez Hilton.


DXM: Let the Rhythm Hit Him/6.23.09


Heather said...

Just saw the video...WOW! Hilton just got his ass handed to him on a platter. Nicely done. I just don't understand why he's still here and why people still care? Chez, correct me if I'm wrong, but KTLA is really not the local station you want to screw with when it comes to the entertainment area, particularly if they booked you at your request instead of them asking you to come on the show. I have a feeling that they will make his life a living hell from now on, and I'm sure that it'll be known amongst the local news market what a pain in the ass he was.

Good job there, Mario.

JT said...

A year ago, a janitor from the National Archives farts on the midnight shift and you scream that it is just another example the failures of the Bush administration. To this day, you can’t even say “Halliburton” without an involuntary gag reflex chocking you mid-word. Much of the criticism was legitimate, albeit very over the top on many occasions.

Advance the clock: it’s now December 2009. The Transportation Safety Administration (ya’ know, the one created to stop terror attacks using the airlines), posts the entire operations manual on-line. The ENTIRE MANUAL. Do you have any idea how long it took the TSA to get to where they are today? Do you have any idea how difficult it will be to discernibly modify operations to counter the intelligence gift that was voluntarily provided to people who want to hurt us? And your response? ZILCH. NADA. Silence.

On the same day, we learn that Mark Penn (dare I say, Hillary Clinton’s ‘crony’?) is “stimulated” to the tune of $6,000,000. No, not Halliburton this time, no right wing conspiracies. This is corruption from deep inside my own damn party. And your response? ZILCH. NADA. Silence.

Oh, yeah. I forgot the attention paid to Palin wearing some stupid hat.

I really don’t expect you to recognize this startling hypocrisy for what it is. If you haven’t before, it probably won’t happen now. What I do expect is that the next time you instinctually offer your credibility, your impartiality, your fairness in response to some perceived slight; I at least want you to pause. And reflect.

CNNfan said...

:-) So that would seem to make Chez a Rubinfan, though not a huge one, and apparently VOTAR a Gibbsfan, though not a big one.

Yay! It's not so lonely around here anymore for those of us claiming to be some sort of fan!

Happy Holidays to all you fans out there. Especially fans of our favorite news teams, including on-air talent, staffers, producers, interns, management, bloggers and all others who bring us the news.

Chez said...

Thanks so much for your insight, JT. Where the hell would I possibly be without people like yourself to keep me in check?

You're obviously entitled to your opinion, but please believe me when I tell you that there's nothing more laugh-out-loud funny to me than somebody who complains about what I write about versus what I choose not to. How many times do I have to say this before it sinks in? This is not the fucking paper of record and if you think it is -- if you truly expect me to be impartial across a broad spectrum of topics -- you've got your head firmly planted in your ass. I don't work for CNN anymore and have zero responsibility to be completely unbiased when it comes to what I write. As I've said -- once again, a thousand times before -- when I bring up a specific subject I try to be as fair and reasonable as possible in that post, but I don't have to write about something just because you feel that it balances some other subject I've broached at some point. It's hilariously naive of you to think otherwise. Once again, this isn't the New York Times.

Sorry your panties are in a bunch because your pet topics are provoking your outrage but apparently no one else's, but honestly if it pisses you off that much that I'm not "covering" the stories you think are worth covering, feel free to read something else. It's a real big internet out there.

Oh, and by the way, Mark Penn wasn't Hillary Clinton's crony, it was the other way around. He's the head of Burson Marsteller, she was merely a presidential candidate. Do you really think she was pulling his strings? Also for the record, I've beat the crap out of both Hillary and that shit-merchant Penn on more than one occasion.

kanye said...

I'm generally not comfortable speaking for others but, in this case I'm going to make an exception. I think the time is long past due for someone to say what's been apparent to most of Chez' readers for quite a while now:

Chez loves bush. Always has, always will.

He more than just loves bush, he revels in bush. His favorite part of the bible is the burning bush. His preferred war tactic--ambush. Binoculars? Bushmasters.

I think it's fair to say that even when judged against the most loyal of bush supporters, Chez stands out as a genuine bush fanatic. In his eyes, you simply can't go wrong with bush. A real bushie among bushies.

I hope this finally puts to rest where Chez stands on bush but, just in case, maybe Chez would consider declaring his all encompassing love for all things bush in his "About Me" section over there on the right. Or maybe he could pin this near the top...because a stickied bush right there by his face will send a message that can be neither ignored nor misinterpreted.

Vermillion said...

but honestly if it pisses you off that much that I'm not "covering" the stories you think are worth covering, feel free to read something else. It's a real big internet out there.

Or, you know, start your own blog and report your own stories. I got one, so it can't be that hard.

Back on point: I would like to sell a shoe specifically designed to kick Perez Hilton in the face. No you can't walk, run, hike, or do anything else remotely worthwhile in it. Yes it is only one shoe. But dammit, that shoe is ready, willing, and able to cave in that douche's smarmy countenance.

I do believe I could end the recession single handed with that shoe.

Chez said...

Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Vermillion: that our friend JT didn't even pick a fitting post to go off on. My grandfather used to do that kind of thing too -- you'd be talking about something completely entertaining and frivolous when he'd erupt from out of nowhere into this indignant screed about the big government conspiracy and fighting Jerry back in the trenches of the Ardennes, leaving everyone suddenly confused and forced to drop whatever they were talking about just to indulge his personal whim.

We eventually realized he had Alzheimer's.

Anonymous said...

"I don't work for CNN anymore and have zero responsibility to be completely unbiased when it comes to what I write."

I got the part where you said you don't work for CNN anymore but acting like CNN was/is/ever could be unbiased - fucking LMAOd. Thank Chez! You rock!!

Heather said...

Kanye, you rule. :)

Anonymous said...

How much do you think people would pay for tickets allowing each person one swing with a baseball bat to Perez Hilton if he was strung up like a pinata?

CNNfan said...

Since, JT is people like us, entitled to their opinion, which in this case was interesting in my opinion, then Chez has asked us all a question, "Where the hell would I possibly be without people like yourself to keep me in check?"

CNNfan said...

"Where the hell would I possibly be without people like yourself to keep me in check?"

Hell, without people like us to keep you in check you could possibly be the male version of bimbos for XOXO's window display on Fifth Avenue.

Anonymous said...

" Fred said...
How much do you think people would pay for tickets allowing each person one swing with a baseball bat to Perez Hilton if he was strung up like a pinata?"

except if you hit him, shit would fall out. how fun would that be?

VOTAR said...

Dude I am so fucking confused and not nearly high enough to bother figuring out whether to care.

Aconite said...

Kanye, that right there is the comment of the week in my book.

Anonymous said...

Anon 7:30- That never occurred to me. In that case, lets stuff him into a paper bag, leave him on the doorstep of some deserving individual, ring the doorbell, set the bag on fire and RUN!

Anon said...

That depends, Chez. Can we set up the beatings like that famous scene in Airplane, when a huge line develops with various weapons to help calm a woman down?

kanye said...

Heather; Aconite,

Thank you.

Izar Talon said...

Anon 7:30:

Seeing as how shit keeps falling out of Hilton's mouth all the time anyway, at least this this way we'd get the deep, uplifting satisfaction of hitting that lame-ass douchebag with a baseball bat.

JT said...

"Chez Pazienza is a veteran journalist -- a producer and manager of network and local news, with more than 20 years experience in broadcasting.

Those are your words brother, not mine. Journalism, is a profession, with a recognized academia and set of ethics and standards. At least the kind of journalism you can expect to get paid for.

Objectivity and intellectual honesty is expected from those who claim to project it. You either learn to live within the confines of those rules or you shed any pretense that you are both objective and a journalist.

Like I had said, I didn’t really expect some epiphany on your part. I do expect that the next time you gaze out the window, wondering why you are where you are, that you let this little element factor into your answer.

Chez said...

And where exactly am I, JT? Are you really so presumptuous as to assume that you know how I'm doing professionally? It's astonishing to me that because I know better than to go into any detail here about where I'm working, who I'm working for or what I'm working on, you simply assume that I'm not doing anything -- not "getting paid." Add to that the fact that the last time I checked, a lot of journalists who flaunt their biases in very pronounced ways -- guys like Matt Taibbi, Joe Conason, etc. -- are making damn good money, and I'm just not sure your pronouncements of what is and isn't legitimate journalism hold any water regardless.

I've said -- once again for the terminally thick-headed, a thousand or so times -- that I'm much happier with what I'm doing now professionally than I was when I was working within the mass media system. I realize that this must seem incomprehensible to you, and that's fine; I'd expect as much (or as little in your case). My personal life could certainly use a little tweaking, but I think it's safe to say that whether or not I'm a journalist who conforms to your idea of what journalism is has little bearing on that. And that's really the point: I don't particularly care what you think a journalist is or how you believe he or she must behave because in the end you don't have the slightest idea what the hell you're talking about -- which is why I'm giving your arrogant opinion and pious criticism all the deference it deserves: none.

But hey, have a nice day.